Um actually, this isn’t funny; White Houses only do this when they’re very distressed or in pain

Accidentally woke my computer up, now it won’t stop posting on tumblr.

"Scrutiny" - a person with a mouthful of Caesar salad, describing its qualities

I’m going to attend! Join us.

The man remains truly excellent and this is going to be amazing www.attitude.co.uk/culture/sir-...

The amazing detail in this story is this lad's neighbour frantically whistling to try and draw the ship's attention to the dangerous local hazard known as [checks notes] Norway. If it hadn't noticed houses are generally stand on vessels a bit of whistling probably ain't going to do it, fella.

Please, PLEASE let this turn into actual action.

Here’s a quick sketch as a thank-you for embedding that verse in my head ALL BLOODY DAY…

Kiwi stalks his prey.

This is a Kiwi the Budgie fan account now.

Here is Kiwi the budgie, deciding to become a jam.

Go to your local demo.

I got into Harry Potter as a teen before it blew up - my mom was a librarian and gave me the first one to read I loved them for a long time JK Rowling is a fascist TERF who wants to kill my friends and she and the entire series can go to hell, she’ll never see a cent from me again

I think of this whenever some conservative finds some supposedly wacky research topic that government grants pay for

(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao

well this made me cry over breakfast. to any democrats holding even a shred of power right now: look at what’s possible from people far more endangered and vulnerable than you and grow a spine, you fucking cowards www.erininthemorning.com/p/powerful-s...

@smallant.live I think my budgie, Kiwi, is your biggest fan. He sits and chats to you when I watch your vods!

I did a thing.

Hey friends! 🇺🇸 Tonight is my US TV debut! 😬 Friends in America - keep an eye out on The CW for tonight’s episode of Penn & Teller: Fool Us! We filmed this back in July, and I’ve been SO excited about it since!! (UK & “other” friends: it’ll be on YouTube by the time you wake up 😅) ⬜️

In a quiet carriage on a train, got my amp, uke and suit in my bag, off to do a podcast I like then roadtest bits for my new tour show and I’m reading Kurt Vonnegut’s Timequake, which exhorts readers to notice when things are good: “Well, if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is”. This is nice.

I would really like to talk to someone who works at Dropout on the production / acquisitions side - if anyone has any leads on who I should speak to, DM me!

Turns out Kiwi the budgie is a huge @smallant.live fan!

Important to note that a velociraptor is a type of vectorraptor. You’d need to ensure your distanceraptor also has direction; otherwise a distanceraptor is a scalarraptor (which may or may not be a scaly raptor).

Bluesky has not yet had any Rhombophryne testudo. Let’s fix that. I think it will do all of us some good. 🐸🟤

YouTube adverts keep suggesting that I should let OtterPilot AI run my meetings, but I have been well trained and always respond "NO OTTERS IN THE FLIGHT DECK".

“She really doesn’t have to go on about it,” her father, Graeme Haworth, 61, said. “There’s much more to Beth than autism. Like her extensive coin collection, constant need for sameness and intense love of 15th century Tudor fashion.” thedailytism.com/woman-accuse...

Sorry, a bit late for you to gather all the ingredients for tomorrow’s menu but hopefully your cooks and maids will do it all. (Menu for the day - 1911)

Given The Muppet Christmas Carol shows a world where Muppets and humans live side by side, AND a world where Christmas exists, this suggests that Muppets were around at the time of Christ.

If you’re looking to watch a murder mystery comedy that is equal parts daft and dark over the holidays, try out Murder for Dummies on YouTube! It’s a six episode series my friends and I made *entirely* independently: think Garth Marenghi meets Agatha Christie. First episode👇 youtu.be/9wD6ndC_8hI

Just in case someone needs to see this.

Now live on twitch with the most chaotic Satisfactory you’ve ever seen. Yet, somehow, it works. twitch.tv/sto_helit

I have *just* released an *entirely independently made* TV series I created and produced with my UK comedy troupe, for free. It's called Murder for Dummies, it's a horror-comedy-murder-mystery-mock-doc - and it's really good, promise! All six episodes are available now: youtu.be/9wD6ndC_8hI?...

MAGICIAN: Is this your card? ME: No MAGICIAN: Is this your card? ME: No MAGICIAN: This one? ME: No. When is our regular postman back from holiday?

We are still going with my first subathon! I’m now wearing a budgie onesie. Come hang out! twitch.tv/sto_helit

THIS IS NOW

I’m doing my first subathon ever today. At 2pm (45 mins from now). Is this how you market? twitch.tv/sto_helit

A little post about me: Scientist IRL Twitch streamer (mostly strategy games) Autistic, bi woman Thoroughly therapy-pilled Budgie mum Optimiser Occasional songwriter Wholesome but sweary

This clip is about how massively popular ventriloquism was in the nineties, which is a thing we all definitely remember because it happened. You can start watching the show via this link (so do that, please?) youtu.be/9wD6ndC_8hI?...

It’s a good sign when the lovely repair person trying to fix your dishwasher sighs heavily every couple of minutes, right? Right??