Kinda sounds more like she’s the one who stabbed him

The rate of regret on being prime minister is way higher than that of being trans

Somewhat father-related: a while back I was driving and listening to a show on NPR. The credits listed a guy named something like “John Smith III, Jr.” and I got so mad I almost had to pull over

I think our culture has largely abandoned the concept of “selling out,” but I’d like to suggest that simping for Instagram’s algorithm, even if you are what I’m pretty sure is a completely made-up person, is a strong argument for reviving it

Well, that was a fucking ride.

I don’t see many truck nuts, thankfully, but I’m extremely motivated to buy a ton of these for the next dozen or so times I do

A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child.

If I were an action hero, this is what I’d say to the bad guy before the kill shot.

donald trump is once again on the white house roof. he has reportedly been told what the requirement is to appear on us currency and “agreed to do it.” we cannot see his expression from this distance but he has just begun to sprint. a surprisingly fast pace for a what has been a sedentary presidency

And if that weren’t bad enough, the Epstein files were in that rocket

I’m terrified that “micro influencer” may just be what social media CEOs call a regular person

Simply too seated, etc. Holy shit

Sounds great!

“Plus he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan” has fresh competition

I have a wild guess on the first mystery

Nothing can prepare you for who's singing this National Anthem (via lpaulfranklin / TT)

In unrelated news, I’m scrambling to complete a nuclear fallout shelter and I hope you’re doing the same

It’s nothing personal and I haven’t even heard one of his songs, but I just feel very strongly that this kid should not be allowed to have a music career

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

In love with this engraving of physicist Georg Wilhelm Richmann being killed by ball lightning while trying to study electricity. (The other guy lived.) Both because it seems like a really mean thing to illustrate, and because they both look like fighting game characters getting knocked backwards

your grandparents voting for reagan

If I was Barack Obama I would regularly call Donald Trump and say the craziest shit I could think of and then forcefully deny ever having spoken to him

I think we can all agree the absolute best part of a franchise spanning an entire galaxy is finding out everyone already knows each other and every new character is related to an old one

Who can I petition to get Gens Z and Alpha renamed to something that isn’t so fucking lazy? I’m thinking Vibes Are Off and AI Slop, respectively

There’s a Cordwainer Smith story from the ‘40s, “Scanners Live in Vain,” that uses something similar. Simply being in outer space HURTS in a way that will eventually kill you, so spaceships are full of hibernators and one pilot who’s had almost all their senses removed. Smith went sicko mode on that

@patri.xyz Patience, please, as I’ve never requested a label from any labeler, but could I get the Alt Text User and Hellthread Veteran labels, if possible? Apologies if I’m doing this all wrong.

I can’t stop laughing at this picture of Barry Keoghan as Ringo Starr in these new Beatles movies. Looks like he’s in an SNL sketch about Ringo being an Unfrozen Caveman Drummer

I'd argue that the AI wasn't art until it was eaten

Look for the helpers

@sidvicious.ca FUCK YES SANTA GOT MY LIST

Years ago I saw a thread on a message board titled something like “The subtext of the song is that no one fucks like Gaston” and I think about it every day

Does anyone else get irrationally angry when they keep seeing the same company’s emails in their spam folder month after month? Hey 5 Star Nutrition: fuck OFF already

Not loving one possible interpretation of “Liberty: 1776–2026” here

If it’s any consolation to anyone, I don’t think Jimmy Fallon himself enjoys being alive. There’s nothing behind those eyes except alcohol and a series of preprogrammed instructions on how to laugh too hard whenever he’s spoken to

This has got to be the least appetizing picture I’ve ever fucking seen on a chip package

got banned for life from the TaleSpin forums for suggesting that Baloo in TaleSpin is NOT the same bear as Baloo in The Jungle Book. People were screaming at me to shut the fuck up even though I provided EVIDENCE

Dudes rock

true story

Just starting Ken Burns’s American Revolution doc, and you gotta wonder why no one at PBS thought better about thanking the sponsors at the start by saying “Major funding for The American Revolution was provided by….”

Daylight savings or whatever can get fucked. We should just stop tracking time honestly, like who gives a shit. Unless you’re still watching network tv then like what does it even matter what time it is

Sorry if this is too “woke” but this whole “Trunk or Treat” system is some Satanic Panic Helicopter Parenting bullshit. Imagine just collecting candy in a parking lot without even the slightest danger of being kidnapped. Imagine Charlie Brown getting a rock out of a cop car’s trunk. It’s depraved

Holy shit

You can know *intellectually* how bad Netflix and Sony fucked up on merch, but you don’t really *feel* it until you’ve handed out candy for a couple hours without seeing a single member of HUNTR/X

Breeding dachshunds only to turn around and refer to them derisively as “wiener dogs” is exactly what Mary Shelley was trying to warn us about

Breeding dachshunds only to turn around and refer to them derisively as “wiener dogs” is exactly what Mary Shelley was trying to warn us about

I would love to think this was some Calvin-inspired deliberate fucking with survey responses. I would love to.

Whoever made yesterday’s NYT Connections puzzle is an Alex Chilton fan: