'Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone you have to build a civilization. Which is where the spirit cards come in'

@marawilson.bsky.social Heads up, you are on Starcrossed today!

Elon got Joyce Carol Owned

Gonna be this

lol she got his ass and he knows it

This is how I find out Kevin Kruse is not performing at my kids 8th birthday party?

reposting here bc it’s only on the other site but… 5 years ago, I worked at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Full circle

Guy can't take even the mildest pushback.

I feel like we have the opportunity to turn David Lynch's quote into this moment's "Keep Calm and Carry On" and it's a far better rallying cry too.

Next stop, primarying Schumer and Jeffries.

Exhaling so hard.

Does he know it sounds like Mangina?

Fox News is just openly racist

New GOP slogan just dropped "Republicans: We Almost Did It"

New GOP slogan just dropped "Republicans: We Have Failed You"

It's that time of year where people need to be reminded of the alternate ending to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

The most 2025 thing happened. One of my middle school son's friends got in big trouble for yelling "I have 6-7 Labubus!" during a lockdown drill.

@jamesgunn.bsky.social went to a Halloween party this weekend and this combo was a big hit! #peacemaker

It's refreshing to see Greg call this what it is. This is murder. When will the big media outlets start calling it that?

This is genuinely the most spineless thing I've ever seen

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

Hey Siri, define loneliness

She gets all the flowers. I mean ALL of them. If we see her, we immediately have to give her flowers.

sherman, for the love of god!

"We took freedom of speech away" should be in every campaign ad moving forward.

i desperately want everyone involved in the destruction of USAID to have to, st the very least, answer to the american people for the suffering and misery they have caused apnews.com/article/myan...

really can’t say enough about how mike johnson is a sniveling little coward of a man. a bayou-bred pushover with a dignity deficit that would embarrass renfield

I grew up going to Zabar's. So many of my childhood memories center around the best lox in NYC (which is saying something). With Saul Zabar's passing today, the Upper West Side has lost a legend who turned his parent's humble store into a culinary institution.

Elbows up Trump's ass

Remember, Trump said last week "Am I watching things on television that are different from what's happening?" I think we can safely assume the answer is yes.

normal person: i just want a place to hang out with my friends tech weirdo: and shitheads np: no just my friends tw: but what about hearing alternative views on race and gender? np: we just want to hang out and goof around tw: so where do the shitheads fit in then np: no shitheads tw: not following

Don't worry Yankees fans, once you factor in Canadian tariffs you're only down 8-0 right now

Me when October comes: #itysl

Greg gets it absolutely right here. The Dems need to get loud and go in the attack. Lay all the blame at his feet.

Stay right here I’m about to see if you can spend the night 😂 🐶 🐻

Donald Trump and Melania get on an escalator at the UN and it immediately stops working 🤣

my favorite robert redford story is that mike nichols considered him for dustin hoffman's part in THE GRADUATE. during their conversation nichols asked redford something like, "have you ever struck out with a girl?" and redford's response was basically, "i don't understand the question"

Jeff Hiller winning fills my cup. Very unexpected

News outlets like @wsj.com have a critical responsibility to report the truth. Promoting false information that ties our LGBTQ+ community to the Utah shooting is reckless, irresponsible, and puts trans people especially in danger. Anyone with a platform must do better. Lives are on the line.

I’ve been rewatching the Coen Bros filmography this month and while drawing a Barton Fink illustration, it struck me how much their films feel like Far Side cartoons: funny, strange, clever, yet frequently inscrutable. Anyway here’s a thread!

Sorry, folks. Sounds like the civil war has been postponed due to white shooter

Doctors I trust more than RFK Jr

it really will be funny if it’s just

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?