The authentic sounds of musical instruments used in ancient times 🎶 #saturdayvibe 📹 Bilimtüel

for people who use the word sportsball, today is their super bowl

A company should not be allowed to email me asking me to give a product a rating because what the fuck, you got my money why are you asking me to do work, who the fuck do you think you are asking me to rate Buldak Ramen you know I like it

Please sign my petition to start an Autumn Olympics where all events empty into a pile of delightful leaves and whatnot.

Sometimes I procrastinate but then sometimes I also PREcrastinate, which is when I get a head start on hyperfixating on something unproductive early on in the day IN CASE something important comes up

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again. #Pinks #ProudBlue

What a lovely shoutout! Thanks NBC ❤️ Check out the episode on NBC + Peacock!

I’m on CPD tonight and I have to say this script by Gwen Sigan is absolutely gorgeous. Add the fantastic Chad Saxton as director and we’ve got another barn burner. This one’s for the moms. ❤️

One day you're young and fun then next thing you know you're literally dreaming about creative home storage solutions

Every day Mamdani comes out and is like "hey guys, I turned off the orphan-crushing machine. Literally just had to flip a switch. Took less than 5 minutes." After decades of dem leadership pissing and moaning and fundraising about how complex an issue it is and how difficult the process is etc

I can't believe we're gonna get to buy our Halloween costumes at the damn Kennedy Center.

Watching the best new artist category of the Grammys is a great way to remind myself that I’m definitely an old person now 🙃

This is the cover photo of my autobiography "Potential Spoiler".

“It takes a long time to sound like yourself.” — Miles Davis

It’s just you and me against the world, Costco croissants

BREAKING... and Thank God... 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos, father board plane for Minneapolis after detention center release - ABC News abcnews.go.com/amp/US/5-yea...

A good measure of how crazy things have gotten is if you pretend we’re in a Star Wars movie and then imagine how long the opening crawl would have to be for an audience of people from 4 weeks ago to be caught up

your kids growing up and needing you less only to have your parents growing older and needing you more is a real kick in the tits

i hope performing arts organizations still insisting on marketing on X are at least thinking twice before using performance photography of women on there

LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 80th, Dolly!!

Last night I had a dream where my teeth were falling out and also I was naked in school and also I couldn’t find my classroom and that meant I wasn’t gonna be able to graduate and also the police were after me and man that was a nice break from everything

Listen, if you put a song in a mix tape for one person and then reuse that song in someone else's mix tape that's unethical. These are just the rules, I don't make them. Two songs by the same band can never be back to back, it's the law. Shit is complicated.

Good morning. ☕

The devil whispered in my ear “you’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” I whispered back, “ugh can you not right now”

You're not ready for the name of the energy transition specialist at Heat Pump Association UK

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to give her an empowering name like “Neck Puncher” or “So Help Me God I Will Stab You-ina.”

#GVerse via @chariselee.bsky.social Incredible interpretation of popping, hip hop freestyle and art of ballet‼️ Yo-Yo Ma and Lil Buck - The Swan

The secret to being around famous people is not wanting to be around famous people.

that’s one long mermaid

I have my coffee

I have a lot of respect for the Knives Out movies just as an exercise in people making solid B+ level entertainment where everyone seems to be enjoying the experience without it needing it to win Oscar’s or make 3 billion dollars. It’s like going to a good steakhouse.

AI

It’ll never not bother me that she went through all that just to get home a few minutes earlier than the rest of the family…

Hundreds of good acting jobs were lost when the movies stopped featuring exasperated judges.

I love how much happier he is doing these silly mystery movies and seeing himself as a muppet than he was being James Bond