old tom
@yuckytom.bsky.social
đ€ 5600
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throw your body on the apparatus
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free palestine
7 months ago
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we should send all the zionists to tel aviv in a big box the way garfield sends nermal to abu dhabi
17 days ago
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one time when i was like 16 or 17 my dad and i were driving somewhere having a full on conversation when Ginuwineâs âPonyâ came on the radio and he stopped mid-sentence said âoh shit, ponyâ turned it up as loud as possible and didnât talk again til it was over. i think about it all the time
26 days ago
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just found out my uncle died from autoerotic asphyxiation. i donât know how many times i told him to keep the garage door open when heâs fucking his car
26 days ago
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i work construction and iâm outside all winter so i wear those carhartt overalls when itâs particularly cold out but i call them my âjammiesâ and this one kid on my crew hates it so much he gets đŽđ° mad itâs hilarious
about 1 month ago
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you know weâre in a dark place in this country bc 20 years ago the fakes and snakes wouldâve never treated mr. worldwide mr. 305 the way theyâre doing benito
2 months ago
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my cat got jealous of me using the lint roller and started yelling at me so i had to explain to her thatâs sheâs basically all lint and sheâd have a much different experience
3 months ago
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old tom
Ygrene
3 months ago
pleaseđdođnotđwearđađhoodieđifđyouđaren'tđcommittedđtođmakingđtheđhoodieđstringsđtheđsameđlengthđ
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Ilhan Omar
3 months ago
Voting NO on the DHS funding bill is the bare minimum. Backing Kristi Noemâs impeachment is the bare minimum. Holding law-breaking ICE agents legally accountable is the bare minimum. ICE is beyond reform. Abolish it.
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the videos of those people being murdered by ICE in Minnesota are very clear from at least three angles each and if you say anything to the contrary in support of the state-sanctioned death squad youâre being purposely obtuse and youâre really weird and cowardly no matter your reasons
3 months ago
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listen my guy⊠can i call you âmy guyâ your honor
3 months ago
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[hanging out the passenger side of my best friendâs ride] what did you just call me??
3 months ago
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you weirdos were all about 2a and âdonât tread on meâ and all that until those who are đąđ€đ”đ¶đąđđđș oppressed started arming themselves against đąđ€đ”đ¶đąđ tyranny and now youâre snitching and bitching and tonguing the boot on your neck like the little sycophants you are
3 months ago
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theyâre braising me in a large dutch oven tomorrow with onions, carrots, celery, some red wine, beef broth and a bay leaf for several hours at 250°
3 months ago
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yes i am a white MALE yes i am raising four DURABLE conservative BOYS to become MEN no i don't HUG them EVER my masculinity is THAT fragile yes i love ROCK n roll yes i live in a storage unit off route 22 i made some bad INVESTMENTS in a FAILED soft drink company
3 months ago
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you ever bust so hard it farts after?
3 months ago
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take me down to the suck me off city, where the ladies suck me off and also itâs a city. suck⊠me⊠offâŠ
3 months ago
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rest in piss you wonât be missed scott adams get fucked forever buddy you died on your knees begging for help from the ruling class with their boot in your mouth
3 months ago
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JD Vanceâs mother took a vicodin for a headache once and the butterfly effect has led us here
3 months ago
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they canât hide bryce dallas howardâs big fat ass from me no matter how hard they try. i will find it
3 months ago
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old tom
Sweatpants Cher
8 months ago
she was right about everything
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my brother went to high school with jonathan ross and said he was the kid that would pull his pants and underwear all the way down to his ankles and hold his shirt up past his nipples at the urinal
4 months ago
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gender-swapped lyric in the david byrne cover of drivers license. sorry baby if youâre singing o-rod you gotta be gay for 3 minutes and 25 seconds no excuses
4 months ago
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cringe to call something âorwellianâ anymore bc the worldâs corniest co-opted it and used it incorrectly til it lost all meaning but watching something very clearly happen with your own eyes then having the government tell you it didnât is just about as 1984 as it gets
4 months ago
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old tom
Good Trailcams
4 months ago
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if the ladies really donât like the term âflat doggyâ maybe we can change it to spatchcock. itâs already got a dirty word in it and everything
5 months ago
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old tom
Truckstop Vigilante
12 months ago
Calling in to work over encumbered
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old tom
Janice Films 2.0
5 months ago
it never even went viral or anything but I once saw someone in the replies of a tweet say that aimee terese âlooks like a shriek from a dry wellâ and not a day has gone by without me thinking about it
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just won the annual freestyle battle for DILFs and DILF-adjacent men by rhyming "wake up aching" with "take up baking" and they banned my opponent from the hardware store for a year
5 months ago
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old tom
FROVO
5 months ago
quit then pussy
add a skeleton here at some point
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and so what? who cares
5 months ago
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old tom
We're just normal men
5 months ago
Weâre just normal men
loading . . .
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they keep strapping me to the apparatus at work no matter how much i kick and scratch
5 months ago
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itâs about to be 2026 i think itâs high time we finally remove the stigma from cutting your life into pieces. especially if itâs your last resort
5 months ago
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old tom
Michael Jay McClure
5 months ago
You can always design a chandelier in your mind when confronted with a blabbermouth or a bloviator. Like, thatâs available to you.
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old tom
Tamper Proof Lid
5 months ago
Babe did you want health insurance this year or are we good
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old tom
New lettuce
5 months ago
I thought the Epstein emails would be difficult to read for a different reason
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old tom
Janice Films 2.0
6 months ago
couples costume idea
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just saw pics of a man getting married in one of those peaky blinders ass caps. like he was in front of the priest with that shit on vowing
7 months ago
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website iâve never been to ever in my life: youâve read your last free article you piece of shit. you abomination. we should just give you this recipe for free? for NOTHING? get real scumbag. already a member? log in :)
7 months ago
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free palestine
7 months ago
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me and who
7 months ago
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âiâve never seen autism in anyone under 70 years oldâ well whenever my grandmother has to go to a new place she prints out directions and drives there a day in advance just to make sure she âknows how to do itâ so jot that down
7 months ago
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texting every hot girl in my phone âof course. anything for you. love youâ quickly followed by âwhoops sorry that was for my mom đ«Łâ
7 months ago
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old tom
Cohen is a Ghost
7 months ago
you got understand, CK was a moneymaking operation for republicans and in lieu of him being able to do that they are going to put his name on everything. when you point out that he sucked shit you really threaten their brand. that's really what this is all about
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PACKWATCH
7 months ago
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i wonder how many HVAC guys get Cask of Amontilladoâd every year. just seems like youâre kinda asking for it frequenting strangersâ attics and basements all the time. iâll bet itâs not zero
8 months ago
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old tom
TRUTH THEORY
9 months ago
itâs wild how weâre giving elmo a pass when with any other public figure, weâd be demanding accountability instead of making excuses like âhe got hackedâ. i think itâs clear that elmo has held a grudge against jewish people ever since larry david beat him up on live television.
add a skeleton here at some point
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taco bell and chipotle donât wound me tummologically bc i approach them both courageously with a warriorâs spirit and an intestinal fortitude and presence of self not seen since alexander the great
9 months ago
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old tom
Tim Onion
9 months ago
AI filmmaking is peeing. Itâs pooping. Itâs throwing up. Itâs a new kind of liquid coming out. Itâs hated by the establishment. Itâs what goes in the toilet. Itâs wet. Itâs whatâs in the bathroom.
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when we were 18 my friend and i went to our first strip club at like noon and there were only two dancers there and we befriended one with a super thick accent who made me guess where she was from and i said 'russia' and she said 'yis! the land of snow and bears how u know this'
9 months ago
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