two gas stations, both alike in dignity, in fair Pennsylvania where we lay our scene

social media isn’t fun anymore because you used to open an app and there was a chance you might see a dog surfing or a cockatoo playing the piano and be like woooooah. now anything cool you see could likely be ai. no novelty no magic dead internet

Had a three -eft afternoon while walking between ponds listening for toads. Warm, rainy spring afternoons are perfect weather to bring out these beautiful and toxic amphibians.

how it feels to hold both the thought of going on the job search again and the thought of how dramatically better my life will become if I can secure the salary I’m looking for at the same time

every time the weather starts getting nice in NYC again my thoughts just become damn I can’t believe there used to be a time when I wanted to kms….. look at all this bounty

unfortunately I have recently realized that a solid 40% of my problems stem from the fact that I regularly don’t get enough sleep

a full day of delicious vegan meals!

HEY LADIES 😳 👊/||\_ _/¯ ¯\_ when your man wanna get buck wild 👋 \ 😔 || \_ _/¯ ¯\_ JUST GO BACK AND HIT EM UP STYLE 😜 👊/||\_ 💳 _/¯ ¯\_

nyc cyclists would rather watch you die than let you cross the street on a rightful pedestrian signal

what if you: pray to god for a pedestrian-friendly american city 🙏🏻🙏🏻😤 but god said: “best I can do is new york drivers and cyclists boss” 😴💯💯

just emailed my property manager yet again telling them at this point I will settle for just a written statement that says the terms of the lease are still being settled so I don’t have to become a squatter in my own home in less than 3 days

I’m at ICE HQ

if you applied the work ethic of the average “property manager” to literally any real job on earth you’d be fired within a month. absolute sacks of lead. resource-sucking burdens upon this earth. bar none the worst candidates to be stewards of thousands of dollars of actual working peoples’ money

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

getting in one of those times square bike cabs and immediately asking the driver to change the music to Paul by Big Thief

I live my life in a distressing state of constantly feeling like I shop exclusively at a store that sells the world’s smallest leeks and the world’s largest shallots according to every recipe ever written

The kids don't know about the Amanda Bynes poster hastily airbrushed to avoid implying she endorsed peace

they should continue the nyc driving ban past 12 pm tomorrow or maybe indefinitely. just for funsies just for a laugh

unmarried men LISTEN UP!!! too many of you are showing up to your literal WEDDING looking busted as hell because you didn’t get your suit tailored to fit correctly. a suit only looks good if it fits! GET YOUR DAMN SUITS FITTED!!! I AM WATCHING!

I love plating something like this up and then walking it 20 feet to my dining table and shoving it into my maw with the type of table manners that a victorian-era parent would use to justify child abuse

Happy Valentine’s Day! Share the love!

reformation be like omg you’d look sooooo pretty in this dress if you weighed 103 pounds

it's hard to understand how things got so bad. my theory is we didn't have enough thinkpieces by people in their 30s interrogating the politics of cartoons for children. forty or fifty more of those coulda turned this all around

I don’t think I want to have a big wedding someday but I DO want my parents and my sister and my 40 closest friends and my 9 cousins and 8 aunts and uncles and 2 surviving grandparents and all of their partners to be there do you see my problem

FUCK I just thought of her kicking at the topsoil

what is happening post-benito halftime show in your gf’s all-female groupchat with her friends is between them and god

shaved my whole body for the bad bunny halftime show just in case

Wong Kar-wai’s In The Mood To Meet Up And See Where Things Go

would you eat this for $4.36 and a warm hug

how it feels to be really proud of yourself because you got a new personal best on the nyt crossword and then log online and see everyone talking about how easy today’s puzzle was

real The National hours who up not swallowing the cap 😤🔥🔥

by age 30 you should have an intense, fervent, borderline hysterical devotion to at least one type of digestive aide

what has been happening these past three weeks screen-timely can never happen again

was just discussing the lame devil wears prada remake and without even thinking about it the phrase “the devil wears shein” tore its way out of me and I had to stop for a second to appreciate how much I cooked

Wise words from WEB DuBois to gird us today: "It would be shame and cowardice to surrender this glorious land and its opportunities for civilization and humanity to the thugs and lynchers, the mobs and profiteers, the monopolists & gamblers who today choke its soul and steal its resources."

I have spent my entire adult life being lectured by Republican politicians and conservative legal movement types about how important it is to preserve the sacred constitutional right to self-defense of *specifically this person* and then secret police murdered him in the street

loving the deafening silence regarding the now TWO broad daylight civilian executions from every pudding-brained person who was posting “political violence isn’t the answer” in the wake of the charlie kirk shooting

This is what love looks like.

it’s simple really: snoopy is the exact perfect shape and proportions to activate an overwhelming flood of positive and loving emotion in the brains of women everywhere

boxd.it/iNgfR my hand has been forced

listen I’m not saying anything to the quality or experience of F1 as a film because I haven’t seen it yet, but in this dreadful age of lazy movie titles, that’s a new low for one of the laziest I’ve ever seen lmao

AITA: I [25M] traded our unborn daughter [-1F] to a witch for a handful of weeds because my wife [24F] was having pregnancy cravings

cooking mama showing 9-year-old me how to make a salisbury steak

james cameron getting the idea for the avatar franchise