I’m sorry you snowflake dweebs were offended by my racism.

The question for Baghdad Bondi was, how many of Epstein’s co-conspirators and pedophiles have you indicted or investigated? Answer: The Dow is over $50K.

"If only we had some guide as to how Donald Trump would behave if he was president" - millions of Americans in 2026, apparently

Ratcliffe is, quite obviously, factually, morally & intellectually wrong about immigration. But his racist comments will be 'both-sided' everywhere because people who simply don't like seeing non-white faces aren't ashamed to say so anymore.

POLICE: "We'd like to talk to you about some recent murders." CHARLES MANSON: "I'm moving on from that."

I guess we can thank Bangor’s Debating & Political Society for prompting Reform to reveal that they intend to govern in the same Trumpian, thin-skinned way that would cause them to tank the economy of a small city because some students were mean to them.

Reform is threatening Bangor University over a student society’s decision. The society isn’t Bangor University—but this is a neat preview of how a Reform government would work: public money for supporters only. Trump-style politics, UK edition. Authoritarian reflex is already working just fine.👇

Happy 13th anniversary to this pair of matching news headlines.

It would be great if the top two stories about the executive branch were not a huge multinational child rape coverup and the establishment of a gulag of concentration camps

always so funny to me when people are like “how am I supposed to explain Gay to my kids?” my kid asks me way harder shit all the time. “why did they build the road this way? why are some people bad?” I don’t know. please ask me about Gay

Explicitly saying your policy is to stop people having a good work-life balance is a weird thing for a populist to say. Pitched purely at office-owning billionaires and Facebook-radicalised retirees. Do one, Nige.

It’s so weird, when everyone I know feels overwhelmed, overworked and lacking bandwidth AND that we’re being told we should incorporate AI into everything to make our lives/jobs easier, that the party leading the polls wants to go to war on work-life balance. Somebody make this make sense.

Holy shit.

The daft thing is that with Proportional Representation there'd be no need for this self-destructive war within Labour. It could split into its component parts - left and right - and people could vote for what they wanted. It's only First-Past-the-Post that forces these irreconcilables together.

Honestly, it has to be a weird time to be a figure in pop culture due the president being Literally The Worst. Like, Elmo can say sharing is good and somebody in his X mentions will say “Elmo, you rotten son of a bitch. This goes against everything President Trump stands for.” And that’s not wrong.

It also bears repeating - if you think “The only thing stronger than hate is love” is a political message that you have a problem with, then you are very obviously on the wrong side and also deeply psychologically damaged.

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

"Suspected political message" = in Spanish so the mouth noises scared me

I'm convinced AI is our generation's radium - a discovery with genuinely useful applications in specific, controlled circumstances that we stupidly put in everything from kid's toys to toothpaste until we realised the harm far too late where future generations will ask if we were out of our minds.

If you wanted to design an organisation to kill journalism, you would create something very much like Reach.

COLUMBO: My wife, she loves your games. The sunken ghost ship level. It’s her favourite MARIO: Thank-a you! C: Just one more thing. Now you say your girlfriend, the Princess, was kidnapped by Bowser, your enemy. And yet you were go-karting with him this morning? M: What’s-a your point, Detective?

NEW: Reform UK’s flagship council, Kent, has been accused of telling a “blatant lie” after its claim of nearly £40m in savings on net zero were found to be based on hypothetical projects for which there was no documentation. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Isn’t this against the Geneva convention?

go off jack white

They’re trying to run the Kilmar Abrego Garcia playbook with a five year old boy in a bunny hat because nobody can find peace if they embarrass the Trump administration publicly. Normal people didn’t like it with Garcia and they really aren’t going to like it for Liam.

Not a single mention on the BBC News website of the US President posting an openly racist video targeting the Obamas. Maybe my news judgment is off but feels like that might be a story. Feeling like I’m going crazier and crazier by the day.

He’s got his dad’s business sense.

Child at the podium: “A woo woo woo.” Mamdani: That’s how I felt when we came up with this plan. Together, we will expand the idea of what is possible in our city—and what sounds and noises we can make at a press conference.

Catching up on the curling is a great palate cleanser for the state of the world but JJ Chalmers standing out in the snow without a coat is going to give me angst for the next fortnight.

Keir Starmer attacks the racism of Reform but then adds “Britain has also been let down by the Left who are too slow to defend the core British value of hating foreigners”.

But, somehow, Jeff Bezos had $75 million to squander/bribe for his useless, money-losing Melania vanity movie. Who needs accurate, smart reporting when you can have shameless, stupid propaganda?

Money can buy happiness. If Elon Musk built a rocket and shot himself into the fucking sun that would generate massive happiness.

I interviewed gold-medal favourite Matt Weston as he bids to continue Team GB’s impressive skeleton record at the Winter Olympics. Bring it home, Matt! www.thesun.co.uk/sport/381139...

In all the Odyssey discourse, I think it’s important to remember that it’s a richly subtle work, with myriad strata of meaning and levels of nuance. You might even say it has… . . . . . Menelaus.

It’s getting a bit boring to bang on about the enshittification of life online but, good grief, what have they done to Yahoo Mail? Makes Outlook look positively user friendly.

'Bring back the two-child benefit cap to cut the price of a pint by 5p' is actually a perfect Reform policy, though. Immiserate thousands of people for a meaningless stunt.

Gervais’s Law: celebrities should never share their political views except in a sitcom, Netflix comedy special or national arena tour where they can pretend they’re just joking even when they’re clearly not

this is what really killed the place even before the nazis fully took over the Venn diagram of “people willing to pay for Twitter so their replies are boosted” and “people capable of making funny comments” is just two completely separate circles side by side

I remember the time MC Hammer explained the rules of ‘Operation’ to me.

Mandelson resigning now to 'save embarrassment' is like me suddenly remembering that I should tell my partner "I'm keeping the baby" on my way to taking the child to school lol

oh my god

I guess this didn't make it into the documentary.

Elon Musk, Jeffrey Epstein and Woody Allen on a Carribean island at Christmastime? www.justice.gov/epstein/file...

For The Express & its readers, the word 'Brexit' has become unmoored from its original meaning and now just means some vague state of grace. Ask them what, specifically, 'a proper Brexit' means & they won't have an answer. What they mean is 'I was told I'd be happy one day & I'm not. Make me happy.'

Melania is going to sweep the board at the FIFA Academy Awards.