I regret to say, we're gonna need better brand ambassadors.

Eminem has a restaurant called Mom’s Spaghetti. Is this the first restaurant to be named after throw-up?

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: David Bowie killed in pepsi explosion

Today I’ve learned that Mario Puzo kinda looked like a bullfrog.

@bcartwright.bsky.social I’m sorry, pal. Wish things wood have been better for you guys. Don’t worry, though! Next season will be here spoon!

@themusketeer.bsky.social YOU READY FOR SOME SOCCER FUN? I am so so excited. These games are gonna be amazing.

@supportersupply.co that Danzig/Gazdag shirt is almost too clever.

Sure, a “racing incident” but Oscar should know better than trying that switchback thing into turn 1 in Austin. Absolutely dumbass move.

i don't think that shohei ohtani is a good baseball player

I feel like adults should have made it clear that the Underground Railroad was neither a railroad nor underground when telling me about it as a child. I honestly thought slaves took an elaborate subterranean rail line to get to Cincinnati and points north.

Ya know, if the government shutdown just doesn’t end, the executive branch could just do whatever it wanted to in perpetuity.

Don’t cry because it’s over, cry because it happened.

Portland is showing the way. Hail Portland

“He can’t do this! This is illegal!” is something we said many times during the first term. Nothing happened. He was convicted of felonies. Nothing happened. The second term isn’t even 9 months old. He’s done even more horrible, illegal things. Nothing’s happened.

How can two dudes wear the same number? I thought the whole point of numbers was to differentiate different dudes.

Jesus. The new @themountaingoats.bsky.social live LP is exactly what a live LP should be. Amazing performance, a mix that reveals beautiful details, and a terrific setlist.

"Too."

LAWLER: They are playing pure politics here and it has to stop COLLINS: You don't think the admin is playing politics by only canceling projects in Dem states? L: Listen, I'm in NY & I'm a Republican & obviously this project cancelation impacts my district, so it's not just Dems getting impacted

He’s like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. He’s adorable and charming and immediately recognizable and also an unstoppable force of breathtaking destruction.

Rabbit Rabbit

this thread started here and landed with a history lesson about egyptian cotton. a literal "today i learned."

The only way to win is by lumping and the only way to lump is by prongling.

This only happens to you once

@themountaingoats.bsky.social currently on the road to the show and I’m bringing you a gift! So we’ve gotta have at least a brief hello this evening.

Tomorrow I’m going to see my favorite band with my best friend and that’s alright by me.

There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.

Every day there are like 3 new things that happen that 25 years ago would have instantly disqualified someone from public office.

This is amazing.

This is funniest possible headline for a song literally called "Song for Bob Dylan"

I wonder if I’ve forgotten how to go in for a first kiss. It’s been ages. I used to be pretty good at it.

in light of the kimmel news, just a reminder that a few days ago a prominent fox news host literally called for killing homeless people. right afterward, someone shot up a couple homeless encampments. that fox news host still has his job.

For all the various hand wringing culture war nonsense about "things you're not allowed to say anymore", an actual thing you're apparently not allowed to say for risk of drawing down the wrath of Big Brother is "I do not mourn for Charlie Kirk."

It is wild that Charlie Kirk of all things is becoming *the* litmus test. Even just talking about the event publicly without a sufficient supply of sackcloth and ashes is cast as "promoting political violence." I haven't seen this kind of mandatory performance of allegiance and piety since 9/11.

It is somewhat heartening to know that the amount of money I need to get my new business off the ground is classified as a “microloan.”

Beyond proud that one of our customers was involved in a brawl at the Bengals game on Sunday. 🙏

The Bengals made a good decision? Are we living in the upside-down?

Do physicists who have multiple side pieces have a three booty problem?

And when the GI Joe man said “help computer”, I felt that

Yeah they said this about DATs and I believe Albini’s quote was “it is almost criminally irresponsible to do final mastering to DAT,” and he was right

If I have any credibility with you from 20 years of reporting on rightwing & fascist movements, please listen when I beg you not to celebrate Charlie Kirk getting shot. Leave aside morality: this isn’t a match in dry grass, it’s a torch. We do not want what this could ignite & we would not win.

I guess this has probably already gone viral somewhere but I am simply dying at this picture of a bear that looks like it hired a photographer to do a glamour shoot

I like having a cup of coffee because then I get to have a cup of coffee

Hell yeah. @evanwalsh.net is coming with me to see the Mountain Goats in Louisville.

oh easily. rip them boys to pieces

So what? The judiciary has proven he can do whatever he wants. Congress certainly isn’t going to stop him. Media is doing less than nothing. For god’s sake, yesterday the Times ran an op-ed with the headline “This Is the Moment We Find Out if Trump Is for Real.” Does that really take 10 years?

Jasmine Crockett: “The president literally said he would look at anyone who decided they were going to vote to release the Epstein Files as hostile. We don’t swear to an Orange King. Instead, we have sworn an oath to the Constitution.”

“Are we living in a simulation?” Absolutely. Or not in the slightest. Whatever. Who cares. What difference does it make? We’re still living here. Having the knowledge that we do or don’t live in a simulation means nothing.