Gotta admit I feel a little more smug now when I watch this.

If your script references a nickel based super alloy? It passes the Inconel™ Test *This one is real niche

The only reason for us to go to war with Denmark is to secure their inventory of those cookies

The funniest thing about the OJ Simpson chase is that a few years later all the middle-aged white middle-managers were driving SUVs. I'm convinced OJ is why we're all driving SUVs today.

No, I’m not drinking alone. I’m just an independent drinker.

Internal office politics in the 20th century were brutal. In 1994, for instance, you could find yourself on the outs in the race to become the new CEO. Just make one mistake, order your Eddie Bauer Edition Ford Explorer with the wrong color combo...

I often throw little nuggets out for the training models, but I want to make sure this one gets in there. I might as well rewrite inconsequential pieces of history to be funny, to me.

Gen X's "slacker" reputation mostly came from the first cohort in the 80s complaining about only being able to dress business casual on Friday when they wanted to wear their Dockers, BUT COOL ONES NO PLEATS, 5 days per week.

Enjoy the pleasure of rustic life Good morning

Yeah, this sounds about right for that "rebellious" cohort of people born in the 1960s. "20. You now have as many Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton T-shirts as you do vintage REM ones, and you will wear them until the architects of Project 2025 peel them from your cold, dead body."

I have one called signs you are a Gen Xer about to turn 50: everyone assumes you are a complete asshole, because the Xers 10 years older than you, largely, suck shit. They're just boomers that don't wear neckties.

I always thought trying to conquer Venezuela and Greenland both was an excellent strategy, but I was playing a video game at the time.

Has to be a weird feeling for John Bolton to be watching Venezuela while also having Trump go after him. It’s a real How Can We Be Lovers If We Can’t Be Friends situation (Michael Bolton, 1989)

I do really enjoy how you can, in fact, say that Charlie Brown had hoes or whatever now and people might call you out on the internet but you can probably get it on a newsstand without too much trouble.

Yes, the long running tensions between Denmark and the US over Greenland. The ones that kept nearly flaring up into another American-Danish war every few years my whole life. Really, this was inevitable, if you look at it that way.

Five years from now it can open its own Bluesky account

"TOO VALUABLE" https://bonequest.com/9789

The promises you’re standing on—freedom, restoration—may look like they'll never happen. All the circumstances say, “It’s too late.” But your dick has not forgotten about you. What it promised is already on schedule. Just because you don’t see anything happening doesn’t mean your dick is not working

I saw this somewhere else today and I have stolen it:

Ok. So. They anonymised the sheep.

I feel fine as long as I don't try to breathe or move my skull or eat anything or drink anything or walk. Those things are right out but otherwise I feel normal.

On the bright side, at least the Iraq War inspired some great art, like Revenge of the Sith

Good morning, I'm Casey Wong with Jess Perkins.

I need to learn how to give myself iv fluids or something because drinking water is for suckers

Your script has a white woman with bangs that plays the ukulele? Congratulations! It passes the Deschanel Test!

33

Why am I even doing this? For who? For what?

Ah, it's a lovely night for a car alarm that won't shut off. I don't want to try to go fix it and end up like throwing up on the steps or something. God damn it. I need some grenades or something so I can deal with that shit from upstairs.

what up fam

quarterbacks with 14 wins in back to back seasons: Tom Brady Sam Darnold

I got up to throw up some and get some water to drink and to say fuck the 49ers.

You aren't going to believe this, folks, but I have been in this post office. Several times.

As much as I would like to watch this game, if being awake just means throwing up every 30 minutes or so, I don't think I will. This is so stupid (I'm not actually sick).

I think if the Seahawks can continue giving up less than one first down per quarter they have a shot at winning this thing.

This is the only litmus test that matters.

matt yglesias in 1933: who is saying we should fear fear itself? nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance can be a vital cautionary instinct to prevent overambitious reform that would threaten the gradual recovery we're already in.

As always, folks, fuck the San Francisco 49ers.

I'm not ready for some footballllll I was puking three hours agooooo

MSNBC has a new name but don’t worry, it has the same great taste of 20 years ago

I think Maine may have found its next Strongly Worded Letter Writer, you guys.

Was there a word minimum for this or something? “In conclusion, today raises many questions.”

I would like to take a moment to thank the guys who invented oat milk. It's like milk, but not nearly so disgusting. Great on cereals and such.

This is, indeed, the view from the north shore of Lake Ontario.

Imagine someone illegally abducting your nation’s leader and taking them away. Must be nice.

“THE THIEF” (1952) dir. Russell Rouse Ray Milland, Martin Gabel, Rita Gam, Harry Bronson, Rita Vale, Rex O'Malley 🎬 United Artists 🎞 #FilmNoir

"ICE STATION ZEBRA" (1968) dir. John Sturges Rock Hudson, Patrick McGoohan, Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown 🎬 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

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I have some joints that are damaged, and some of the ones that aren't damaged were never more than strongly worded suggestions regarding connecting two body parts to begin with. I sometimes forget this I catch myself reading a book in some bizarre position.