A real penny for my sham friends. A Champagnie for my real friends.

This has been a pretty bad day, AI-wise, for those who have the slightest respect for the mysteries of existence.

Imagine if there were literally any stories in human history about the hubris of thinking there’s any way to cheat death that AI idiots could learn from. That would be crazy, right?

I, a straight white person (read: “everyday American”) marched in the streets to help get you the right to marry your husband, motherfucker.

I am 100% feeling superior today due to my comparatively great literacy and facility with the written word vs that of our child molesting overlords

Here’s why humanities literacy matters: If we had a tech community that read/watched speculative-fiction cautionary tales and actually *understood them,* they wouldn’t constantly be going “oooh let’s do that.”

OK but if emails take down Trump, and a blow job finally ruins Clinton, it definitely proves God is a really funny woman right

This will be my final solicitation for this effort. Food pantries still have plenty of need.

Update: Well apparently I’m *just* south of the boundary for the new 1st District. Boooooo

I'm willing to accept every crazy premise of RENTAL FAMILY, except for the fact that an American actor trying to get work in Japan wouldn't change his name to something simpler than "Vanderploeg."

We *all* need health care that doesn’t ruin us and suck us dry. Every gotdam last one of us.

Somewhere out there someone who’s the best at what they do is terrified that they have imposter syndrome while a bunch of barely literate pedophiles are very calmly running the world

No wonder pedophiles don't want national healthcare.

New @cityweekly.bsky.social reviews of this week's theatrical and streaming releases: THE RUNNING MAN; NOW YOU SEE ME: NOW YOU DON'T; NOUVELLE VAGUE; THE CARPENTER'S SON; COME SEE ME IN THE GOOD LIGHT; IN YOUR DREAMS. www.cityweekly.net/film/film-re...

It's not just that he's a pedophile, he was the least popular pedophile

[me, workshopping my new character, “Sarcastic Film Critic Who Is Also a Scholar of American Religious History,” reviewing THE TESTAMENT OF ANN LEE]: “I guess the Fifth Great Awakening will be what happens at the end for everyone who sits through this movie!”

“We’re all trying to find the guy that didn’t do this story in 2015.”

got. damn.

Nancy Mace right now telling Trump what she wants in order to not sign the discharge petition:

I have no problem with the idea that Trump is strategizing the latest Epstein stuff in the Situation Room, because whatever else one might believe, this is absolutely a fuckin situation.

Honestly, I hope Karoline Leavitt enjoys this week. She's earned it.

You want a James Bond movie idea? Try this: A guy wakes up in a tuxedo without knowing who or where he is. A note in his pocket directs him to go to MI6. There he's informed that he has been part of a program to train and prepare the new Agent 007, his past erased. Call it THE BOND IDENTITY.

Two pretty great performances from Laura Dern this fall in IS THIS THING ON? and JAY KELLY.

I don’t know how you could watch Jimmy Kimmel’s monologue/eulogy for Cleto Escobedo and not realize he’s a real one. Absolutely wrecked me.

I think we’re all a little clearer now as to why Mike Johnson kept the House out of session for two months.

Once more people have seen JAY KELLY, we need to have a serious conversation about the timeline of the ages of Kelly’s two daughters, which makes absolutely no sense if they are 34 and 18, respectively, yet somehow also played theater together in the backyard.

Happy “I Ran” Night to all who celebrate.

[a judge, doing the thing a judge is literally employed to do]: Here is the decision I have come to in this legal matter. [a bunch of assholes]: He’s playing king!

It would be swell if Netflix appeared to give a single, solitary shit about informing local press when/if their movies will be opening here theatrically. I didn’t realize until today that TRAIN DREAMS had opened in one theater this *past* Friday.

Wait ... I might actually be represented in this state? Is this even reality?

Kind of bitterly ironic that Paramount/Skydance is releasing THE RUNNING MAN, a movie about the dystopian horrors inflicted on society by a mega-media conglomerate that ends up running everything and disseminating misleading propaganda.

It is interesting how this year’s two Stephen King “Bachman Book” adaptations are dystopias about poverty, desperation, and how the underclass’s only hope for survival is refusing to be pitted against one another.

I’m sorry to have to be this guy again, but: The new film THE RUNNING MAN is not a remake of the 1987 film THE RUNNING MAN. It is a second adaptation of the 1982 novel by Stephen King. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

I'll get back to "party unity" as soon as the Senate Minority Leader tells us if he voted for the Democratic party nominee for mayor of his city. I'm tired of party unity only ever running one way.

Still more slots available for anyone who maybe already has made such a donation, and wants the fringe benefit to their largesse of forcing me to watch whatever they want.

I wish it could have been possible for today’s focus to be on Elon getting his ass handed to him by Joyce Carol Oates in a way he only vaguely understands how to respond to.

It was harder getting endorsements for Zohran Mamdani from Democrats than them caving to Republicans to mutually strip us of healthcare

I’ve watched Jim Harbaugh for a lot of years, and I don’t recall ever seeing him on the sidelines without his mouth open.

My low key conspiracy is that every billionaire democratic donor who saw a flight or a friend's flight out of Tetoboro cancelled on Friday forced this result on Schumer. This was not about helping people it was about helping the donor class not have any minor disruption of their life.

Mamdani is going to impose Mamma Mia law, where everyone will be forced to watch jukebox musicals.

The true sign of a Democrat still living in the 1990s.

That thing where politicians think they’re playing four-dimensional chess but they’re really on the receiving end of 52 Pick-Up.

Tech guys six months ago: haha yes we’re cutting all this WASTEFUL spending by eliminating medical research and USAID Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine

Normalize football analysts saying “Mendoza can’t take a sack now” rather than “If you’re Mendoza, you can’t take a sack now.” You are not, and will not ever be, Mendoza.

Listening to Gus Johnson call college football just reminds me how much I miss Gus Johnson calling college basketball.