So, soooo hot!!

Being her play thing ❣️

Beauty

Another poweful piece of writing. And ffs this guy needed to grow the fuck up.

NGL: "When is the birthday?" Soon. I'd love to say, but it might potentially be outing, so I can't really. But it's pretty soon. Intending to celebrate all fucking year though! 😄🥰😘

The interview with Legend in the Radio Times is absolutely brilliant

Men, it's Titty Tuesday and frankly I feel that this week (cos it's my birthday very soon) *you* should show *me* your tits... Let's be having you!! 😘

I sometimes think I've missed a trick as a demisexual I cannot quite compute finding someone attractive enough to fuck on the basis of looks (even really good looks) alone and/or a short acquaintance. That other people do it makes me go oooh! & ahhh! like watching a realy good firework display.

This is what should happen to Nazis.

Reposting because I'm truly sick of misogyny. And this statue really struck a chord with me.

www.theguardian.com/news/ng-inte... Men. Do better. It's 2026 ffs. I can't tell you how angry and depressed this makes me.

If we can’t enjoy a bottle of Cabernet together by the fireplace in an abandoned Victorian mansion under a full moon on a cold winter’s night with the sound of wolves in the distance whilst we wax poetic about our hopes, dreams, and people we want to haunt in the afterlife, then what’s the point?

You don't need to understand French for this post. 😊

It *is* a really hot piece.

Seem to be having a bit of a Tom Cruise evening. Just watched Maverick and about to watch A Few Good Men. Have concluded that even with the Scientology bollocks, I'd still do Tom. Would you?

Birthday presents/cards are beginning to come through the post for me. Obviously not opening them until The Big Day, so where do I keep them? I clearly need a Birthday Tree to place them beneath. Could this become a thing please? If you'd like to send me something... 🥰😍😘 throne.com/mrstales

x.com/i/status/201... All those NGLs answered here... Thank you!

Having a dull day and expecting a dull evening too - feel free to send me messages to cheer me up! 😄 ngl.link/mrstales

Some pink for Saturday...

Just booked my spa day for my upcoming Big Birthday...hot stone massage, facial (get your mind out of the gutter! 😈😄), lunch and prosecco. Lovely.

We’re currently in that section of the history book with a map and bunch of arrows all over it

There’s hope in’t yet.

Art could save your life! "People who regularly go to the theatre, live music, museums or galleries have nearly half the risk of depression." - Daisy Fancourt, Professor of Psychobiology and Epidemiology at University College London. Read more in the Guardian: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

I love how weird people are about polyamory

all the advice I need for this year #Traitors #TheTraitors

Who trained Amanda in the police force? Frank Drebin? #TheTraitors

“At the time of writing, America has just invaded the sovereign state of Venezuela without United Nations approval, kidnapped the sitting head of state, & announced they are in charge now. We were only 3 days into 2026! & I’m supposed to be drinking less? Are u serious?” inews.co.uk/opinion/one-...

"special relationship" listen Britain I've been the most junior ranking member of a horrible polycule and i was told that was special too

Can we fuck already instead of liking each other’s posts?

Let’s see if I can stay under the character count this time…#W1PP With the piety of a saint, I drop to my knees before you. My genuflection pleases you, and you show it with a smile as your fingers weave into my hair. You pull me towards your waiting thighs, and I accept my sacrament.

16 seconds of boobs breasting boobily in bubbles... #TittiesTuesday

Paul Sieffert (1874-1957) Reclining nude

On an undisclosed date this month, I shall turn 50. This is both a huge privilege and really fucking scary...😱

As someone who ticks the boxes for old, disabled and fat (before anyone takes issue with me for being somehow self-critical, it's a statement of fact), I wholeheartedly appreciate this meme. Any/all of these things don't stop a person being sexy as fuck.

My first observation of 2026. I (the real person behind Mrs Tales) am spreading myself far too thin. I need to prioritise myself and my self-care. Which - among other things - is going to mean less availability here. Time to put myself first.

Fancy meeting up on a free trip to Pompeii (UK folks only)? If you pre-order my new "Talking Classics" book (in which Pompeii features) from @Waterstones, you get to enter a prize draw for exactly that. Details, T&Cs here: www.waterstones.com/win/talking-...

Today I have mostly been looking round a cathedral while not wearing any knickers. I am so going to hell.

The sex was going great until the time he started looking at the door and told me he was waiting for his mother.

This is GREAT. Especially: “So much of good sex is about attunement, by which I mostly just mean paying attention”

Jan 1: this is the year of new Me Jan 12: [eating shredded cheese directly from the bag] new years resolutions are a bourgeois construct for disciplining bodies into productive units for capital

10 Reasons to Celebrate Introverts on World Introvert Day 😌

So much this.

Happy New Year to everyone! Xxx

Merry Christmas everyone, especially my #Playschool Babies. Be kind, considerate and compassionate as the festive season continues. Spread joy everywhere you go and remember the best gift you can give is unconditional love ❤️🎄❤️

Word of the day, should you be feeling a little huffish, is ‘apanthropy’ (18th century): a love of solitude and the desire to be away from other people.

Do you reckon a can of JD and Coke that's 18 months out of its Best Before date will still taste ok? 🤔