If you can't get hard, you can still be sexy. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/cant-ge... #ED #ErectileDysfunction

Bringing one of the best tweets of all time over to Bluesky in honour of the Three Lions QF victory

commiserations to the norwegians, who will have to console themselves with living in a rich social democracy where everyone is the most beautiful person alive and the right to take two annual ski vacations is written into the constitution

Teuchel was right. We got lucky. Great result yes - but we need to move up a gear...

Holy fuck. Not elegant, but we'll take it!

Bloody hell, we got one back!

Everyone ready for the match later? I am! 😏 #WorldCup #NorwayvEngland #EnglandvNorway #Football #England   #England🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #WorldCup2026 #ComeOnEngland

Just got this and felt it deserved an immediate reply. The short answer is yes, I would. If you're asking whether someone having muscular dystrophy would put me off, the answer is no. I expect it might give me pause for thought from a practical viewpoint... cont.

These must have come in late...I've answered why I don't show my face etc before. Essentially it boils down to: society shames women for expressing their sexuality; work wouldn't like it; my in-laws definitely wouldn't like it and to protect myself from possibke stalkers. Cont.

A sadly vanilla weekend approaches. Absolutely zero shenanigans expected. 😔 Disappointing, but on the other hand, the last few weekends have been *a lot*. Online shenanigans only for the moment, then. In other news: there's an obsession with my arse in my NGLs...🤔

What I *meant* to post yesterday before getting distracted by Pinot Grigio & groping, was that I finally had my physio assessment for my tummy. The bad news: I was right, I *have* got diastasis recti & it runs the *entire* length of my abdomen. Hence the awful pregnant bulge ☹️

I just think when you’re hot and tired and have been for a week you should be allowed to log off your email job and sit on the sofa/bed in your pants or naked in a bath of ice and scroll Instagram until you nod off and drop your phone on your face.

Rounding up some translations of Count Binface that have been appearing in foreign press 🇷🇴 Romanian: Contele Tomberonez 🇫🇷 French: Comte Tête-de-Poubelle (bin-head, more accurate than bin-face) 🇮🇹 Italian: Conte Faccia-da-Bidone 🇪🇸 Spanish: "un hombre con un cubo de basura en la cabeza" (!) Cont...

I have had trois - that is French for three - glasses of Pinot and I am slightly pissed... Had a lovely social tonight with a Twitter friend. There may have been some grope-snogging. Couldn't possibly comment. 😋

Me: How was the sex? Her: He came so quickly. Me: Unngh how quickly? Her: Like less than 10 minutes it was so hot. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/spunk-u... One from the archive.

Never interrupt your enemy when they’re launching themselves into a 6 week long argument with a bin.

In an increasingly mad world, it would absolutely make my year if @CountBinface beat the odious little shit Farage.

I almost forgot it was Tuesday! #TittyTuesday

That's the solo Swinghub profile up then...😱 Why am I so nervous?!? It's just a way to meet people, right? Not like I *have* to shag any- and everyone who applies, right?

"The way to get a bikini body is to buy a bikini and then put it on your body. Same is true of shorts. The right shorts for you are the ones in which you feel comfortable and happy" www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sluttie... 👏 @girlonthenet.bsky.social

The nice things about books: once you own them, you own them, forever. No one will be eye tracking your reading habits. No one will make money of you reading the book as many times as you'd like. And the very same book can be read by generations to come. It can last centuries, literally. It's great.

That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough.

I'm still chuckling about this guy and his dog 24 hours later. What a great picture 😆

They tell me I’m uncultured, but I’ll always recognise a bit of Beethoven.

they made a drug that allows you to divorce your true self from the experience of feeling the worst, most negative emotions. it’s like it’s happening to another you. but it’s only approved for dogs. so you have to, like, tell your vet your puppy has debilitating ennui

Was at the BST Hyde Park gig yesterday with @notthatdoctor.bsky.social . Chic & Nile Rogers, Scissor Sisters and headliners Duran Duran. How is Simon le Bon 67?? Fabulous gig all round. Duran Duran were superb and Scissor Sisters were pure musical Prozac!

Ooh I love Evil Edna!

Meant to say, btw, thank you to everyone who sent me good wishes the other day when I was struggling with the black dog. Turns out, I might have missed a dose of Mounjaro earlier this week 🙈 - which is an excellent way of sending my brain fizzy. So at least I know why now.

I have a couple's profile with @notthatdoctor.bsky.social on Swinghub but I need a solo one for the hot wife stuff. Don't like the current name I go by on my (hidden) Fab and Fet accounts. And ideas? The Masked Swinger is bound to be taken, sadly...

Struggling with the black dog atm. Bloody brain.

Half-time refreshment. ⚽️😉 Happy #AssWednesday Full-screen ftw

strategic boycott of umbongo until results improve

Bloody hell, England! I could have defended better than that!

'Cos sex positivity is frowned upon in vanilla life & workplace; 'cos my husband is fine with our enm relationship but his family wouldn't be; 'cos there are any number of disturbed people out there who might try to track me down if they knew what I looked like... Shall I go on?

Last one... Me and my husband? No. Me and my poly partner? Yes!

I'm concerned that pillow humping will not do your back any good! But, enjoy!

1) Great question...the sex was great, but probably the thrill of doing something so "bad" and ostensibly out of character for me...I'm the quiet one you have to watch! 😉 2) Oh bless you! Yes, we hugged in a special way...repeatedly. 😋

Oh, I know who this is from! 😍 My dear friend, I look forward to that immensely! 😈😘😘

Last 7 NGLs! To start - there's a lot of interest in my ass?! 🫏 I've got a great photo for "Ass" Wednesday, although no butt plug - sorry NGL 1. NGL 2 - I feel that lube would be the very least accommodation one would expect in that position 😄

Happy #TittyTuesday ! Cheers! What are you having? 😉😘

I am all NGL-ed out and seven new ones have just appeared! You're a thirsty lot! 🥵 I will get to those seven tomorrow, but no more please for now. 😘😘 You could always just talk to me in the comments here...

Well, early days, but he has told me he very much enjoys the idea of having a sexy slut wife, so who knows what might happen..? 🤞🏻

1) More than I can possibly count. I often go to bed soaking wet... (now, now, dirty mind!) 2) book of bdsm smut, Rocky IV 'cause it's *amazing*, Star Trek TNG 3) Boobs. Genuinely. And posting a lot of smut and nonsense on a regular basis. And boobs. I'm sure you're not dull. X

See below...

I'll agree with you about my arse. 😘 But the rest of me is - cosmetically - a little worse for wear. All the right curves, not necessarily in the right places! Working on it though, I have a plan. Healthy is the only thing that's *really* important, ofc.

It's a very sexy thought, but I would find it way too cringe to watch back. And I don't think my O face is a thing of beauty! 🤣

1) I hope I do enjoy it, when I get there. I enjoy butt plugs so I should. I do want to do DP/airtight at some point, so need to get this sorted. Oh my, tmi! 😄🙈 2) No. Nominative determinism though, a tit wank would have been appropriate in Bristol, thinking about it 🤔😄

Well, I don't know who you are, but in principle, yes! I do love a cock...tail... 😉

Awfully bold of you to assume I've peaked! 😄 There are many more kinky things to try. I suspect my most memorable is yet to, um, cum. 😈