hey dog

gotta get my money up to build the mozzy stick factory

the fucken ziti was my favorite character in the sopranos

i did not abandon my blue sky

(flirting) hey can i be the personality hire of the relationship where I bring the fun energy and you fill up the gas tank

college took alma money and it doesn’t even mater

🪐 space bun bunz 🪐

dad at a bbq vibes

how it feels

bodega cats dropping hoodie merch is the highlight of my year

i live in the soup sphere

shazam but to find out if you’re mad at me

cat

if i was one of the oompa loompas everyone would’ve caught these hands even willy

going to shotgun soup out of a can

i just wanna be crossfaded on eagles football and a philly cheesesteak

i always need my escape vehicle for when i need to leave the function

no he was 3 boyfriends ago, my great great boyfriend

gm

growing my bangs past my eyes so i can hide from your bullshit

first date idea: we exchange conspiracy theories

no contact implies the existence of yes contact

make it rainbow

minnesota vikings fans in love = skolmates

I'm aging like a fine wine, horizontally in the dark

Who invented tasks I would like a word

it's not so much that those lakes are great just that all the other lakes really suck

I truly don’t understand why “excessive celebration” was ever a thing…. LET THE BOYS DANCE A LIL

rawdogging my love life by deleting all my dating apps

fall revere

(jan 22 2018) this moment lives rent free in my head -

i love a jam sesh

sometimes the edible eats you

Happy victory Friday guys! Feels good don’t it?! 🦅

i’m also a dumbass on my meme ig

(eagles fans flirting) hey wanna link at the linc

if you say “saquon” 3 times in the mirror then he does a backwards hurdle over you

How much of a difference has this man made to the Eagles OL today? All smiles between Jordan Mailata and the 2 TD man Saquon Barkley. #nfl

this is who you’re up against (me to my fantasy opps)

💚 good morning and go birds 💚

they’re calling me mozzy stick god

Daryl Morey’s preferred draft prospect profile: Insanely nice kids who accidentally doubled up on their adderrall

hey siri who is the us ambassador to roku city

Quote post with a picture of yourself and show the newbies what they’re dealing with.

Unsalted rice cakes taste like divorce proceedings.

Growing up in the 90's, pop culture pushed a very consistent message: ✓ aliens are real ✓ they abduct people all the time ✓ they're all into butt stuff for some reason

Best Miami Vice reboot ever. 💚🦅 #FlyEaglesFly

If you can’t handle me at my “it’s so over” you don’t deserve me at my “we’re so back”

My boyfriend got kicked off the cyber truck waiting list for having sex.

before work vs. after work