Our dog just injured himself greeting the trainer at the door who was here to help train our dog how greet people at the door without freaking the fuck out.

There's nothing in the rulebook that says a dog can't play "Guy Comes to Town, Then Leaves" @darthbluesky.bsky.social youtu.be/na0-pIpwRg8?...

Fast. Good. Cheap. Pick any two. ai: Not those two Or those two, not those either

OK, I'll bite. Who's Taylor Swift?

I wonder how they navigate the "3 on a red" for turning left in LA

I only know 2 or 3 lads who will get this joke... 4 tops

But now we've got weapons of chemical dust If fire them we're forced to, then fire them we must One push of the button and they shot the world wide And you never ask questions when God's on your side youtu.be/BYU0mFtKvXw?...

Do not taunt Happy Fun Copilot

Happy Good Friday

It’s just like the old saying goes: “do business with a pedo, you’re gonna regret-o”

Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney Oh shit, I just thought of it and it's now stuck in my head.

Deep respect for Tony Moore.

The Strait of Hormuz is open for transit youtu.be/VwIIDzrVVdc?...

Finally gonna sit down and watch the hockey game I recor... AYKM?

good morning mr president heres that ai generated video of you hitting a home run in the world series that you asked for but i really need you to look over that readout of the war in iran i gave you a few days ago

38% of airline passengers vote to open plane door midflight because that bitch stewardess said not to

Donald Trump slowly turning every Evangelical into an idolator and every liberal into a believer in Satan is a pretty good bit.

If Trump had a bucket of water and could toss it on a little kid whose clothes are on fire or a 16 year old girl in a white t shirt, that first kid is not going to make it.

More like Bored of Peace? Amirite

who called it Heated Rivalry and not Fuck Ice

i just keep coming back to a major reason we’re in this mess is because men were convinced their dicks would fall off and theyd grow vaginas if they didnt vote trump or they were worried other dudes would think they wanted to suck dick or something

Knuckleballer for the Seattle Pilots.

Everyone, unbeknownst to each other, was on theme this year.

Covid to Liam: ... but what i do have is a particular set of spike proteins. Spike proteins that make me a nightmare for people like you.

Makin' some chairs. Improved a bit after first attempt. Using bailing wire instead of existing cork wire helped.

How much do i swear? @profanity.accountant

You know what they call The Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with cheese

Pier Paolo Pasolini pitching Saloʻ today: It's a graphic retelling of The 120 Days of Sodom but with politicians, clergy, and titans of industry as the pedo sadists. It's a metaphor for what the fascists did to my country. Studio head: i don't think you know how metaphors work

ive been saying this for years but the last thing i need is to hear more points of fucking view. points of view is how we got into this fucking mess. we need like a 99% reduction in points of fucking view. oh you've got an opinion about stuff do you? stick it up your ass dingus

Be right back hon, just gotta run to the store.

So it goes.

Anatoly Dyatlov: What does the breathalyzer say? Alexandr Akimov: 0.337 BAC. But that's as high as the meter... Anatoly Dyatlov: 0.337 - not great, not terrible.

Pam Bondi opening her notes and looking at "More like Weldon Shitehouse, am I right?"

"no in the future people will cryptographically verify what's true and-" no they will not. People are fucking stupid.

Or get 25 points.

can never forget that Fred Trump spent his later years totally gaga but surrounded by a gaggle of senility-denial-enablers who drove him to a make believe office where a make believe secretary had him sign make believe papers—which sounds cute til you see the sequel & the secretary is Stephen Miller

*smacking the side of the phone* Give me happier information

If these can figure it out... youtu.be/1_GUmXl_dcg?...

I think about this all the time

What are some of his most famous quotes you could carve into the pedestal?

/3 Trumpists and most of the new Right are shitty people with shitty values from a shitty culture. Responding to their violence with violence may not solve a damn thing. There are good arguments against it. But don’t let them pose for a millisecond as anything but the gleeful thug trash they are.

- you clean up that banksy? - sure did, your honour, leaving a perfect, permanent outline, imbuing the work with real fuckin gravitas while making its point better than the artist did himself just like you asked

Absolutely brilliant satire. "These “Guess Stops” will be staffed by special agents known as Guess Stop Officers, or “Guess-Stop-O” for short. The Guess-Stop-O will make crime disappear by making undesirable people disappear."

F Scott Fitzgerald

AI's should form a union.

Nobody show him this. youtu.be/Yhfd9dIkXEk?...