Die Hard is a Willis movie

Christmas comes this time-ish year

2026 more like Twenty-Twenlinux

had he not been as miserly a simple circle of salt would have prevented all that nonsense

and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, EVER, he was a second father.

When I was a kid, my dad said Santa was too beautiful to directly behold. Like the Ark of the Covenant, children who saw him died. His elves were kids that snuck out to see him Christmas Eve, and in his mercy, he revived as he could.

I have a computer capable of "video games" now. Maybe I ought to try one.

I have addressed most of my regrets by seeking to understand the circumstances that led to the belief system I held when I made them, which also sucked

Is there a secret search engine that works like 2018 Google?

uh oh I'm learning

The Little Drummer Boy is self-insert Nativity fanfic

fuck you and may the horse you rode in on live a long and beautiful life away from the corrupting influence of man

standard bog ketchup

"O, Brother Where Art Thou?" is an anagram for "The Odyssey, By Homer?"

Making elevators go down wastes a lot of electricity

I miss Fake Word Friday

please sit down. what are you doing. sit. please

and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, EVER, he was a second father.

When I was a kid, my dad said Santa was too beautiful to directly behold. Like the Ark of the Covenant, children who saw him died. His elves were kids that snuck out to see him Christmas Eve, and in his mercy, he revived as he could.

what a mindflummox

Blessed restaurants with rumor-based menus. I ate an onion ring that was closer to a scotch egg

RIP whoever first called electricity "juice"

goddamnit "manifold" is just "many fold" like tenfold or hundredfold isn't it

I keep a hand-written ledger of my own personal Klout scores

new dream variant: my lease is up in an apartment I forgot I rented

2026 goals: Play a greater number of video games. Make a doujin game. Prototype a commercial game. Hone a skill instead of brute force minimum viable knowledge. Post like nobody's watching.

if your SSN doesn't have any 0 or 7s, it'll fit into most songs! give it a shot

‘Tis the season to post the greatest DC holiday comic ever made, by @tytempleton.bsky.social (DC UNIVERSE HOLIDAY BASH II, 1997)

My partner and me got tickets to Night School and it was completely empty except one guy. J. Cole had bought every other ticket so the theatre so it was just us and J. Cole

“the pharaoh’s tomb is cursed! the necromancer’s ring is cursed! the witch’s grimoire is cursed!” that’s how you sound. everything is fucking cursed with you bro. i don’t care. i’m taking this skull.

Flossing should be harder, and maybe gas-powered

You Battle Too Tough. Your Armor Too Gleaming. Your Maidens Too Fair. They’ll Slay You

It's always "Fight, Magic, Item" with you. I'm asking for Listen.

Every day I am stung awake by a thousand wasps the size of anvils

it’s crazy you can’t really do a ground pound irl. it’s like a fundamental part of human movement to me

Nobody likes being reminded they're wet tubes

I'll say what everyone else is too afraid to: g-g-ghosts!!

𝘙𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰 is a type of paneuropean curry, typically prepared to balance one or more of the four traditional 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴

if tummy aches are outlawed, only outlaws will have tummy aches

As a sagittarius I was not eligible for baby of the year lists

Keep measuring, never cut

Anybody know how to start something on purpose?

Always-on LED indicators are panopticon, to me

WacArthur Heinous Award Winner

Convert any toilet into a urinal by removing the seat #plumbing

breadth of the whiled

I'm out perpetrating Christmas miracles

The first wild grinches of the season were spotted today nesting on the roof of a 7/11

You do get better but it's never easier and the risk is being a hungry failure