Not every immigrant to Europe is a Kylian Mbappe or Bukayo Saka but the vast majority contribute to society - doctors, cleaners, carers, nurses, teachers etc. A truth that I wish more politicians would acknowledge.

Dearie me

This is rubbish, start the boring second half already #spaarg

Totally neutral watching this of course #spaarg

Elizabeth’s been gone so long she still thinks Fallon’s the go getting rock chick of yore, not the hand wringing wet blanket she’s turned into. It’s coming as a shock. #TheArchers

'Patriot News' reporter Chris Atkins (scatatkins.bsky.social) was just kicked out of Liz Truss' CPAC conference for asking the wrong questions. So much for free speech.

Can anyone who watches Coronation Street advise? When Burns was in that, was he as reet northern by eck as this, or did they tell him to reel it in a bit? #TheArchers

If we’re going to hear about this baby for the next five months, could it please be from the perspective of the parents rather than these two ghouls? #TheArchers

The return of Harrison Burns is already getting on my proverbials, eee by gum. Didn’t he turn ultra religious at one stage? Might he go off and live in a monastery? Fairly soon? #TheArchers

Dump it on the Village Green and tell her she can pick it up from there, Susan. #TheArchers

Zia Yusuf is terrified of being bugged - a sure sign that he has nothing to hide.

l - Telegraph's leading story r - a long, long, long way down their homepage

The more Farage & Reform UK corruption is exposed the more people will #BlameMillionairesNotMigrants meme via Ronnie Anne Mckay

Andre Agassi telling Claire Balding about the time Chris Rea cracked an egg in his bath.

What’s that, Dale? You want to give me an unconditional personal gift of £5million to do whatever I want with? Sure! I just need to fill out a form. If I didn’t declare it that would be silly.

The only joke in the Clacton by election is that Farage has got away with so much for so long. And unfortunately the BBC and other broadcasters have been complicit in that. Count Binface isn't the problem. He's highlighting the absurdity.

Did newsnight ever try and unmask Alexander DePfeffel Johnson from his ridiculous "Boris" character?

She just ran him over with a tank. 😆

The question for Nigel Farage now is whether it's less embarrassing to un-resign and claim that was an establishment stitchup, or to spend a month competing with a bin. Neither is exactly a *great* option. Neither solves his ongoing scandals. And it's a mess entirely of his own making.

Did Nigel "migrant hotels" Farage just talk about how terrifying it is to be surrounded by a baying mob?

"Hey, you know, a dishonest man could make more from losing a by-election than winning one…"

I've just written two columns, one saying he's leaving, and one saying he isn't.

Bluesky this morning:

"Hands up if you start screaming about a witch hunt and dark forces being out to get you every time you are caught red handed being a sleazy grifting sack of shit"

-5 points for not writing "thank you for your attention to this matter" as the salutation

Had a lovely time slagging off the UK with a man who works for a fat orange rapist.

Grateful to the Telegraph for providing the definitive answer to its own question, albeit in quite small letters.

Doing some Comedy Art for @b3ta.com image challenge

It turns out this Keira‘s another stroppy pain in the arse with issues. Just what we‘ve been missing. 🤦‍♂️ #TheArchers

What did Keira say she’s doing? She’s a bit high frequency and there’s a fan on. It’s outside, apparently. My mind might have to get inventive. #TheArchers

It must be the heat. Tony was belittled by his mother for about 70 years, routinely cowed by his wife and sisters, reared horrible children, but today finally answered back. Hooray for the heat. More tomorrow, please. #TheArchers

‘West Java’ is a help; Washington and french Belgium are quite targetable; I’ve been to Verona and Cusco. 👍 www.maptap.gg June 24 97🔥 97🔥 98🎯 98🎯 95🏅 Final score: 969

Be careful out there. Nobody wants sun stroke (see illustration)

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: No matter how hot it gets, don’t do this. MESSAGE ENDS.

Joy Horvil’s gone very quiet after about three years of near saturation coverage. While we’ve been stuck listening to bickering Aldridges, has Catweazle drowned her in the hot tub and disposed of the body? #TheArchers

“Your wages will rise... weekly food shops will get cheaper… You and your family will benefit from a resurgent economy... Politicians both local and national will become more accountable..." A quick reminder of how Brexit was sold to us ten years ago today

Why’s Lillian wearing Natasha’s weirdly clackety shoes? It’s v disconcerting. #TheArchers

On the 10th anniversary of the Brexit referendum, let us check in on how it's going...

Hasn’t Fallon cornered the Ambridge Brownie market with her secret ingredient… or is that not since she turned into a wet blanket? #TheArchers

The 'ten years' bit is a clue.

‘Why are David and Ruth doing a spot of plumbing?’ he asks. Because the local plumber is packing veg boxes. It’s an odd place. #TheArchers

They’d trailed the heat, but did they foretell this end of the world tropical thunderstorm? 31 degrees, went very dark, torrential rain, constant thunder and lightning, very very frightening me. 🎵

Did Pip ever do that bloody test, or did everyone at the BBC lose patience and they turned her mic off? #TheArchers

Keira’s a bit high pitched. No wonder dogs have been going berserk. #TheArchers

Reform choosing their next by election candidate:

The attacks in Edinburgh, in which an armed bare-chested white man terrorised Muslims, leaving five people injured, don't feature on a single newspaper front page this morning. Two tier journalism

A shirtless white man, in the street with a knife in his hand, having attacked and wounded five people, allegedly shouting anti-Muslim slogans is the sixth story on the BBC UK news page. There is absolutely no doubt at all this would be the lead story if attacker and intended victims were reversed.

Has ‘Add to Playlist’ dumbed down, drastically, or am I just irritable?