I see Question Time has reached its inevitable endgame. It was bound to happen.

This landlord, whoever he, she, or it is, seems to pick numbers out of the air. If he she or it is that easily swayed it might be worth another underbid. #TheArchers

Brian: “Can I have a hug, please?” Ruairaidh: “Yes.” Brian: “Thank you. How much do I owe you?” #TheArchers

Maybe the mystery investors at Grey Gables will mysteriously invest in BL. Problem solved. #TheArchers

The Donald J. Trump Institute of Peace, Washington DC

Get arrested for trafficking them and go to prison where you can't use X.

So Anna, a Lesbian, is single. Alert Stella immediately: there is an alternative, and deliverance from Odious Pip and her problem child is nigh! Quick as you can, Stella. 🥳 #TheArchers

Oh. Anna & Carol reintroduced to be ‘more squabbling people’. 🤦‍♂️ Maybe they think that’s what we were missing. #TheArchers

She killed your father, Anna, so she could make short work of you. Avoid any eye of newt she serves you up. #TheArchers

What a cow. I hope Dane ditches her first. Unceremoniously. #TheArchers

I’ve weakened and booked for the #TheArchers stage thing in Bath in November. Brine, Jazzer, Tracy, and Lillian seemed like a reasonable stage full, and when I saw there were only 2 tics left in a 1500 or whatever seat venue (really????!) FOMO kicked in. I think I’m turning weird.

Finding BBC and #r4today analysis of Trump’s insults of Starmer to be bizarre. Why are we even considering what Trump said? It’s meaningless. Genuinely. Not even Trump knows what he means. The story is - Starmer stood firm and acted in the national interest. Trump threw some toys out of his pram.

Someone needs to send an ambulance to X

If this war shows *anything* it’s how badly needed the transition to renewables is That that conversation has been largely absent from UK media while nonsense like this is published shows just how much the media ownership tail is now waging the dog

Come to that, why didn’t Carol call them, or at least someone in the village, or country? Probably also saying ‘Don’t tell Carol’. #TheArchers

Don’t the Brookfields own this cottage? Haven’t they got a key? Why didn’t Anna call them? 🤷‍♂️ #TheArchers

If the old cricket club has collapsed, what’s happened to the pitch and pavilion? Who owns it? Is it all abandoned and left to rot? And where will this new lot play? 🤔 #TheArchers

It's important to keep Winston Churchill on the £5 note to educate young people who never use cash about his importance in our national story. I am an intellectual.

Still no sight, sound, or mention of Lizbeth. How long is it now? Or Vince the Mince, come to that. Has he ground her up and legged it and it’s another #TheArchers cover-up? I think we should be told.

After a widespread public consultation, 60% of people voted to see nature on our bank notes. But why let that stop me stirring up my moron base by pretending it's the Bank of England being woke.

Jakob: "Ello Vera.” Unexpected. #TheArchers

Oh FFS. Enough with the public announcements about Thing and BoatGuy walking out together. But out. Next they’ll be insisting on an audience for them ‘doing it’ as per medieval monarchs. #TheArchers

It's no longer OK for you to sit in the house of Lords because your dad did. But if your mate put you there? That's fine. Neither of these really feel like democracy to me.

Amber forms a proportionate and sensible response to the issue. That will never catch on. She’s either not long for Ambridge or due one of their famous character transformations. #TheArchers

Are these supposed adults acting like lunatics or have I inadvertently eaten something hallucinogenic? 😵‍💫 #TheArchers

Come to think of it, there’s a peculiar inverse correlation between the abnormal number of mysterious speeding cars in this village, and the abnormal obsession of its speed watch vigilantes. What’s that about? #TheArchers

Ooh. A mysterious speeding car! Again. #TheArchers

Given Trump's illegal war that is devastating the Middle East and pushing up energy bills, Keir Starmer should advise the King to call off April’s state visit to the US. A state visit should not be given to someone who repeatedly insults and damages our country.

Coffee, straight out of my nose.

What’s Willyum going to be called? Granddad? Grandpa? How about ‘That Daft Bollox’? #TheArchers

If I had a guarantee that Willyum wouldn’t talk to me, I’d consider it a win. #TheArchers

Scan woman: “Is this Dad?” Amber: “Who knows?” #TheArchers

Germans now own the Daily Telegraph and Britain’s Eurovision entry is called “Eins zwei drei”

Tracy should swoop in and get a job at the new place. Work with Alex James or Helen ‘Dreary’ Archer? 🤔 #TheArchers

It's funny because that's almost what Khamenei's son called Trump

I was on BBC last night, following a clip with voices from Iran. All the selected voices welcomed war, saying they cheered every time they heard an explosion. Those views exist. But when you ONLY air those voices, you are doing war propaganda. And I told BBC that live on air.

Helen might be leaving to work for a guy from a BritPop band who now makes cheese. 🎵Woo hoo Da da da da da da da da da Woo hoo🥳 Da da da da da da da da da #TheArchers

This delivery robot was trundling along Gloucester Road in Bristol yesterday. It has been covered with graffiti, of course, and this bloke kept standing in front of it to make it stop.

Adam. 🤮 Creepy old perv. You‘d think an agricultural community would be less hung up about tupping. #TheArchers

Genuine #TheArchers Q: Why is the Housing Association selling a house it ‘can’t afford’? Is that a thing with Housing Associations? What’s the economics of that? 🤔

This just turned up in my YouTube algorithm, so it’d be rude not to share.

We are seriously concerned that many Muslim women were prevented from voting for the famously racist and anti-Muslim Reform party.

Is a crofter rogering a dairymaid an advised agricultural and countryside storyline? #TheArchers

NO! She has to move there! That’s non-negotiable. #TheArchers

Unusually, I’d like to hear from Dane. #TheArchers

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