Practitioners of the Dark Cal Arts

*making an ex​ample out of you* for example everyone look over at this here

i’d like to let you know

finding out what nookie means and questioning my personal motivation

that’s the difference between you and i

i commute every day on a pinewood derby car and if i don't get the weight distribution just right i miss my exit

any pool is a drowning pool if you try hard enough

Babe I need to explore your abyssal zone

the missile knows who it is because the missile knows who it isn’t

disowning my infant son because he can’t say suavemente correctly

1/2 star review on letterboxd for trainspotting: there wasn’t even a train

shirt that just says “rhetorical” with a big arrow pointing up at my face

my opps are having an all hands meeting upon finding out that i simply don't give a damn

the flowery motif here took me hours

hey guys #unregisteredfirearms

I love all of my larvae. Even the runty little blue ones. Well, maybe not them.

my opps are having an all hands meeting upon finding out that i simply don't give a damn

No bridle, no rules

it's nice to be alive, i think. there's neat stuff to do if you want (not doing stuff counts)

imagine being named mackenzie, not like in a derisive way just give it a try maybe it's a good fit, no pressure you can always bail out of the hypothetical if you don't feel good about it

a little bit of monica here we go a little bit of erica mama mia a little bit of rita okey dokey a little bit of tina lets a go a little bit of sandra take a this a little bit of mary take a that a little bit of jessica yahooooo a little bit of its a me mario

no dalton, your baptism doesn't count as taking swimming lessons, you have to pass the swim check if you want to go kayaking with the group

when i die make me a jpg with the lowest compression quality setting

friday baybee *leans against a wall and slides down it like a pat of butter in a hot pan*

oh, me? *shakes head until you leave me alone and go somewhere else*

what kinda penchants you got? trying to get to really know you and i would just love to hear about those penchants. what about that house your wheels stay in? knacks are cool, i'll even settle for some kind of oeuvre if you got that

if the moon is real how come the mario galaxy movie came out while people were in space supposedly

avant garde? from what? what's the danger to this? i don't see people walking around saying "i'm gonna kick avant's ass, that dude owes me so much fucking art, but also money"

i commute every day on a pinewood derby car and if i don't get the weight distribution just right i miss my exit

if you build it (really cool hotwheels track) they will come (everyone cool)

i basically just mind my own business if you really think about it, all that other stuff that's your business. we can invite each other to partake but otherwise that's yours i'm good over here

i'm only giving you seeds tomorrow, it's behavior based remember that. you can't blame me

i am sharing my #reel. please hire me to make #picmix

you have to be friends with trans women because otherwise you're never going to find out about the really really good music. and also the really really bad music that's bad in an interesting way. they've got both sides of the extreme covered so you have to be friends with them to find out about it.

you can have fun on here it's allowed

you can be at peace with death early if you were in the "gifted students" classes as a kid

🗣️🗣️🗣️KREBS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ CYCLE 🗣️🗣️🗣️BAYBEE

hello everyone i have never been to this Blue Sky website its nice to meet you all for the first time today

old account gone, i'm free

fuck the human condition

i'm happy for all my friends

im going beast mode in the grocery store

liner notes for my litter box

ask anybody, theyll tell ya

almost was late paying something that would have had a $600 late fee everyone say "good job horse"

i'm pregnant (with self compassion)

okay but when does a pwincess get to go to the moon