stop fucking with the fish!! 😣

you ever look up at the stars and realize how insignificant your penis is

Thinking like.... A pterodactyl across the ceiling in the kitchen lol. Or, a spinosaurus just wherever.

Imagining if I had a dinosaur skeleton on display in my house

Have you ever done Crossy Road irl

I'm getting silly with the PS Vita again

found a very olde pic.......

i spent three days looking for this

It's raining outside and there were some large rabbits staying dry under my mic carport area :))

i need to go climb a mountain or cliff or something i need it emotionally

just noticed a game I really love is less than $8 for the time being.. probably not for long lol. definitely yoink it if you like action rpgs. It's very comfy and chill. Takes place in a fantastical version of the Austrian Alps.

I will access your content

showers of gore

i am prepared to implement a sweeping three-hour moratorium on getting horny

i luv when i find out a game has 16:10 (1280x800) aspect ratio builht in

I think the US coast guard is gonna go looking for Santa Claus

I spent lots of time chatting with the Nazi bot on Nazi dot com and giving ad revenue to the world’s richest Nazi in order to create these screenshots that you’ll hate. Enjoy

Incredible headline.

fuck to dsm-5

Yes, I got nutted in again. Here's why that's a good thing 🧵

Not only is it infuriating that guys like RFK Jr and Dr Oz are destroying public trust in vaccines by falsely linking them to autism, but it's just fucking embarassing that we have those two dipshits in charge of (formerly) prestigious institutions containing some of the top scientists and doctors

my column for The Atlantic:

do I look like a salamander when I'm not wearing makeup

wait.... 😨😨 Are there actually people believing the things that RFK Jr and Dr. Oz say??

the world hatched from an egg

What if EVERYONE met up in a public place and agreed we're all gonna do the things we really really need to do 🙈 what then

I HATE that I'm not supposed to exercise when if I'm sick 😭😭😭

ok I wanna learn Spanish so I can be trilingual as quickly as possible. What's better than the green owl for learning quickly

trying not to cry when my bf says I don't need to wear chainmail around the house

we all got that one homie who thinks they're the undying necropriest

Bring back the muck

i fixed an obliterated miyoo flip hinge in like twenty seconds earlier toda

since y'all are talking about zipties can I use this opportunity to tell you that those are one of my favorite things to chew on

[back from caribbean vacation wearing a "we be jammin" shirt]: Do y'all like my cornrolls

do y'all remember the bottom diet

breakfast is a gateway drug to harder meals, such as lunch

me no talky sry

Demonschool: Is OUT. It's out. Finally it is out. We hope you enjoy it. store.steampowered.com/app/1900250/... store.playstation.com/en-us/concep... www.nintendo.com/us/store/pro...

having sex with a gun

I will NOT "watch" a podcast... I need to move around and do stuff with my hands. In fact, I think very few things should be in video format.

I wanna go spelunking

Char and Yam and also Hexen

Ok yeah I probably got covey but I think my at-home tests are too expired to detect it 🙈

You ever notice this week that like uhh nothing has a smell to it

ur my pet for 1 (one) week

Sshhhhhhh

my rodent pussy just hanging out

Cats laying on me actually watching the horror movie... paying extra attention during the rly scary parts 🙈