Look man, I’m not a US Senator. Me “acting like it” doesn’t do much. But good news! You ARE. Work on your Esteemed Colleagues and use every bit of your actual powers to bring this fucking fascist creep to heel. If so I promise to write mean skeets about him! Thanks @chrismurphyct.bsky.social.

I saw this pic of Kim Jong-un and tried to imagine Trump firing a gun and now I can stop laughing

When you choose the movie and everyone hates it

White Americans be like: Let me tell you about a country I have never been to.

The way I would welcome a variety of wild animals into my home instead of most people.

BREAKING: Winner of the first ever FIFA Peace Prize threatens World Cup soccer team.

Me: Hell yeah I love these warmer spring temps! Also Me(after a fly buzzes my ear): FUCKING FREEZE EVERYTHING!!!!

“Todd, what were you like in the 90s?”

She sounds like every “BIG THINGS COMING” vague-posting creative who never creates jack shit and tells their roommates that chores are “emotional labor.”

Every day I collect another piece of supporting evidence for the idea that the pandemic made a dangerously large plurality, if not an outright majority, of Americans go absolutely feral. Zero sense of or interest in how to interact with other humans in shared spaces. None.

Kentucky’s next game will be against Florida and head coach Todd Golden, appropriately, in the home of the Predators. #BBN

Aw. Kristi is head of DHS Noem more.

153 children were murdered because war had gotten too woke.

How the writer behind several genre favorites found himself living in his car.

Why would you expect them to care that children were killed at school in Iran? They don’t even care when children are killed at school here.

When someone says we’re bombing Iran because they’re killing their own citizens in the street.

Fascist president starts a major war without declaration by congress. Democratic leaders: hey man, just keep us in the loop, mmkay?

But we're going to touch the stove and we'll be touching it more than probably ever before. And we're not going to get burned. We're not going to get burned

"US/Israel Air Strikes Hitting Iranian Elementary Girls' School the Best Argument Yet for Homeschooling" - NYT, probably

Shocking behavior from the winner of the FIFA Peace Prize.

OPERATION BLOWING SHIT UP BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THE PRESIDENT AND OTHER OLD RICH DUDES ARE PEDOPHILES

Couldn't sleep so I grabbed my phone and just saw that Trump and Israel have started WWIII and now I can't sleep even more.

😱😱😱

"Oh you want hamburger meat, fancypants? Fuck you, eat liver."

No but this is entirely correct

Sure hope they film season 2 of Task before Ellison authorizes the WB lot security to kill Mark Ruffalo on sight

Gozer: CHOOSE THE FORM OF THE DESTRUCTOR! Me: The Arby’s Meat Mountain

What in the RFK Jr? www.tristatehomepage.com/news/crime/m...

A Sunday reminder that it wasn’t woke people who drove Jesus to violence, it was greedy rich people.

This kind of blatant and bald-faced lying is only possible if your base is made up of the stupidest mouth breathers to ever exist.

I’m sorry what?

some thoughts on Alysa’s gold medal skate a day later - this is maybe my absolute favorite skating performance ever? I know enough to understand it’s not the most challenging technical skate but the sheer infectious joy is unmatched - I’ve watched this maybe 15 times - I mean holy shit look at it

befuddling maga by pronouncing tariff like (omar) shariff

“I’m a 65 year old divorced Republican with heart disease who hasn’t eaten a vegetable since the 90s and whose accounting business is barely hanging on which makes it hard to afford my Jack Nicklaus leisure wear and I truly believe that Iran is the greatest threat to my way of life!”

Blood clot, heart attack, aneurysm, stroke, pneumonia, fall in the shower, slip on the stairs, stepping on a rake and tumbling into a bucket of syrup…something, anything.

Trump is rambling incoherently and shitting himself live on television right now, but to be fair, AOC did say “uh” a couple of times when answering a question the other day.

Trump: What if I piss all over the Constitution and make myself an untouchable king? SCOTUS: Anything for you, Dear Leader! Trump: What if I impose tariffs and fuck with corporate money? SCOTUS: TOO FAR!

Here’s our new OogLaDaar EP “Why”. This one has a much more bonkers mix of tones than previous releases, which makes me VERY proud. ❤️ oogladaar.bandcamp.com/album/why

The Ayatollah of Iran is threatening to release videos of Trump with children if Trump actually launches a full scale bombing campaign against Iran.

Americans watching other countries hold their leaders accountable

UK: Prince Andrew arrested. South Korea: Former President Yoon sentenced for life. Brazil: Former President Bolsonaro serving a 27-year sentence. USA: President Trump demands $10 billion payout from taxpayers.

Such a perfect illustration of how terrible Gavin Newsom is that while he is saying this dumb shit there’s a big neon sign shouting GAVIN NEWSOM