Just walking along the road and a bit of potato fell out my mouth. It's a new one

Very late to the Project Zomboid party but this game is brilliantly infuriating.

April fools is cancelled this year because everyday is a fucking joke

I hate LinkedIn. LinkedIn is for wankers. If you post regularly on there you're definitely a wanker.

Apparently it's not considered weird to fancy Louis Theroux anymore. +1 to society

'highly educated people disagree with me so hop on board if you consider yourself a dumbass' is a very different sales flex definitely

Men are from Mars women are from Venus blah blah blah the trick to peace with the other is accepting that they eat bread, they stand in the kitchen and eat bread, a lot of bread. You can psychology all you want; save yourself a lot of heartache by just accepting the bread will be consumed.

Him; 'You can't be that autistic you don't listen to songs about trains' Me; But I love Saxon

There's nothing that unites British people more than making fun of a high profile paedophile.

Boyfriend is wearing Grinch socks. Revoking his Grinch title for a) owning these socks at all b) wearing them in February c) daring to pretend he hates December more than I

My toxic trait is being unavailable.

sorry prettyboys, the time has come for guys with bodies so fucked up entire datacenters implode trying to replicate them to rule the silver screen

If you havin food problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 Dreamies cos a bitch had none. Feed me!

Why do the Five Guys burgers look like they've been sat on by Five Gu... oh, I see

Once stayed in a hot tub too long; threw up absolutely everywhere after getting out. Epstein files eliciting a similar reaction.

Accepting cookies on that website? Consider yourself judged.

Getting my boyfriend to go into work is an actual job in itself. Underpaid, stressful and I don't like the boss very much at 6am.

absolutely not, why the fuck would I want to do that

i'm not a morning person. or an afternoon person. or a person. i'm 8 gallons of iced coffee held together by pure spite and questionable life choices.

There should be a law against checking the news when you can't sleep. Definitely bad for your health.

Just bought my cat a nappy. Hows your day going? (Aka diaper for any non British folk)

Social media has taught me, that if you have nothing important to say, you should say it on social media.

You could probably commit any federal crime if you cover yourself in copies of documents from the Epstein files. The White House and DOJ will completely ignore you.

Just googled 'does too much coconut milk give you diarrhoea'. 2026 is going great.

Wikipedia template for every prominent right wing businessman

Giving me the power of invisibility is basically the same thing as telling me it’s finally okay to fuck a platypus, if we’re being honest.

Can't wait for my bloke to start work again so he clips his toenails in his study rather than the living room.

Happy New Year to everybody I've reposted this year

This has been a great year for people who love being angry

Just spent twenty minutes wiping my cats pooey arse, how's your boxing day?

Oh sweet, a new film adaptation of the Odyssey! Oh, Matt Damon stars? That's a nope from me

Disney really are amazing; no other studio could manage to draw out an animated film about two macaws fucking for so long

Overheard conversation; "Im going to teach in China for 3 years!" "Oh awesome, have you been to China before?" "I've been to Italy"

I also fuckin hate wrapping paper. Seasons blessings

A Christmas message; I fuckin hate Sellotape

Shocking 11pm revelation; migraines are rubbish LykUND Subscryybbb

I love my boyfriend but if he ever says 'ooof nicely up to temperature' with a smug grin again then I may have to kill him

New clothes! New makeup! ...same old inability to take a decent picture

incredibly unprofessional of the vomit hose operator to wear jeans and a t-shirt. completely breaks the 1960's immersion for me

Idea for a survival show; Snore Island. Send the world's loudest snorers to a remote Pacific Island, where they shall do battle nightly and/or just nuke it when they arrive

when you see this, post an image from your gallery to describe your mental health

Newly addicted to Vinted and have already run out of clothes to sell, so if anybody would like a finger that'll be £15 plus postage and packaging. £20 if you want it in usable condition.

Just another morning with no coffee and the cat attempting to curl one out on the couch. 2025 bliss.

All too often I cringe at the lameness of something I just posted. But I’ve realized if I let it be for a few days and revisit it, I can behold how truly embarrassing it is

Setting up a PSN account for my son. Everything seems to be in order, just need to choose an OnlineID and WHAT

Question of the day; If dinosaurs were alive now and saw their faces on things like mugs, cuddly toys and backpacks...do you think they'd be flattered or creeped out?

Having a conversation with my blokes daughter about the Gummy Bear song. Class. Turns out she means a hip-hop type song and I mean the 80's cartoon. Never felt so old in my life.

There are 4 types of guys online. No exceptions.