Watching the Eagles game at an extremely local bar filled with locals in the Poconos and every time there’s a penalty against the Eagles, one guy — who I can assure you has never heard of Dril — shouts “That was a Betsy Ross call!!” and I do not know why

COOOOOOOOOOP 🦅

All of this redaction is the equivalent of pleading the Fifth.

If drivers aren't given not just access, but redundant and convenient access to every sq inch of the country they flip out Meanwhile for pedestrians and cyclists it's like "do they really need to cross this body of water? do they really need the freedom to go there? they might do it for recreation!

Hey, Philly sports fans! Look what is coming next year-The Stoop Pigeon. A hub for women’s sports. Because Philly is a women’s sports town . youtu.be/OUBgvtbiCrs (go birds)

This is MY JAWN!!

She better figure shit out faster, or she’s not going to be able to have a credit card anymore.

TODAY IS THE DAY! GET OUT AND VOTE. Polls are open 7 AM - 7 PM WE GOT THIS!!!!!!

The buck stops here. No, not right here. There. Not there, way over there. Yeah, keep going. Going. There.

Don’t ask us to find common ground with these people. Common ground does not exist.

If the Venezuelan sailors were enemy combatants, then the 2nd strike is a war crime. If the Venezuelan sailors weren’t enemy combatants, then both strikes are criminal murder. It’s that simple.

Handwritten and oral exams are making a comeback

Number of states where average gas prices are below $2: Zero. Number of states where average gas prices are anywhere NEAR $2: Zero.

Photo of an ambulance stuck in gridlock traffic

What’s it called when you sacrifice young girls to billionaires on a tropical island?

I feel much safer today knowing that we deported a Babson College student back to a country where she hasn't lived since childhood. She wasn't even flying internationally. She was flying to Texas.

I've got a book coming out in February on Dr. J, Moses Malone and the 1983 76ers. Preorder through the publisher and we'll send you free custom-made basketball cards of Dr. J and Moses. www.hachettebookgroup.com/grand-centra...

Just dig a hole in the field and bury them in it

Hey, Philly sports fans! Look what is coming next year-The Stoop Pigeon. A hub for women’s sports. Because Philly is a women’s sports town . youtu.be/OUBgvtbiCrs (go birds)

This first quarter feels like a statement from Hurts/Brown to the press. 🤫 🦅

JALEN FUCKING HURTS!!!! THATS MY QB1

Granting a wish is always guaranteed to make any bad day a lot better! :-)

What a great thing during ugly, dark days. I bought someone a bike. A freaking bike!!! Somebody is having NEW BIKE DAY and I love it.

The discourse about Jalen Hurts when the Eagles win and the discourse about Josh Allen when the Bills lose makes it feel like they play two different positions in two entirely different sports.

🎵 “Join Ice” - @wellesmusic on Colbert

My rep, @houlahan.house.gov. No one better touch a fucking hair in her head.

ATTAGIRL, CHARLOTTE!!!

Remarkable: Rep Chrissy Houlahan, one of the Dems that Trump called for executing, tells me her office literally filled out a Capitol Police threat report that listed "the president" as the person making the threat. It's at 9:20 on our pod. Much more like that here: newrepublic.com/article/2034...

My rep, @houlahan.house.gov!

We should not need to be reminded of the value of human life. — Jamal Khashoggi

This shit is dope. Phantoms have always been top notch with their branding and marketing over the years.

YOU GUYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING CURSED???? HOW ABOUT NEON GENESIS LEHIGH VALLEY PHANTOMS HOCKEY?????

Breaking news: According to my daughter’s client: If your mother took Tylenol when pregnant, then you’re autistic. If your mother only took Tylenol PM, you’re only autistic at nighttime. 🤪🤦‍♀️ #Pinks

Solving kitchen table issues, one by one.

First Tylenol, now Motrin. Enjoy your pain, fools.

If he’s not wearing slippers, does it even count?

Has anyone looked under his mattress?

“What is new is the confluence of three trends: The sheer scale of wealth for the richest. The untethering of compensation from performance. The amount of harm these figures are willing to inflict on society. All three are rising to a dangerously high tide. open.substack.com/pub/thebulwa...

Cool cool. Next, let’s recall AR-15s, because they can potentially slaughter a classroom full of children.

incredible photo that's definitely worth at least 1,000 words from Andrew Harnik of Getty

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s my REP!!! #pa6 @houlahan.house.gov

UNLESS YOU HAVE A FEVER, BECAUSE MATERNAL FEVER HAS BEEN SHOWN TO INCREASE AUTISM RATES BY 400% SO TYLENOL ACTUALLY COULD MITIGATE AUTISM BY REDUCING FEVER

im sorry you cant have food but we gave all our money to one guy who “invented” 2 day shipping and another thats promising robot butlers so you can see how our hands are tied

Yeah, my doubts can’t grow anymore. My doubts are at full maturity. This is illegal AF.

Sunday President diarrheas on the country, Monday President bulldozes White House, Tuesday President steals $230 million, Wednesday President... fucks a horse? Let's see if he fucks a horse.

There’s a Trump-voting soybean farmer in Arkansas who saw this and stroked out.

A 60 second summary of some of the biggest and best sights from #NoKings Day. Congratulations to every single organizer, volunteer and attendee👏 History.

If you took part in a No Kings protest but didn't receive your paycheck, please contact Ted Cruz's office because he has it on good authority that there's an evil rich Jew who is funding all of this.