The human body did not evolve to cope with its beloved university grinding through 2 final fours in a week

Excited for a national audience to see the magic of him and Benetti tomorrow on Sunday Night Baseball

@cjzero.bsky.social got eyes on that Gleyber Torres HR? 👀

hearing some chatter about collective bargaining agreements but the reality is more of you need to be in the gym collecting bar gains

In space no one can hear you Teams.

Trump felt so bad about draft-dodging in Vietnam he decided to start and lose his very own bungled war

[puking] [waves tiny pennant] Hooray!

Rest assured Nick hitting two grand slams in one inning à la Fernando Tatis Sr. is how I’ll find out when It Happens

Nick Pivetta

RIP Robert Mueller, he was preceded in death by the Rule of Law.

@ryan.blacksky.app Is it just me or does Perry Johnson look like a RoboCop villain in all of his gubernatorial ads?

me: if z is the length of a slice and a is the area of the pie, then pi(zz)=a PhD advisor: this is what you’ve been working on for three and a half years?

FSU defense has succeeded in making Cayden Boozer the main character. He's gonna have all the 3s he wants to shoot tonight.

@hankgreen.bsky.social These two wrestlers are in the 184 weight class. How much weight does the ink of the tattoos of the Penn State wrestler add to his body?

Took about 90 seconds to go from “I need a hobby” to “I need a motorcycle”

Kelvin Sampson’s freckles stress me out. My man is in his 70s and does not seem the picture of health. Doesn’t need the own goal of melanoma

“Two top 15 loses in one week is better than a loss to Wisconsin 13 games ago” — at least one AP voter 36 hours from now

Imagine losing on the road to a top 10 team. Couldn’t be my team 〽️

"I'm going to Mars" "I'm going to the moon" You can't even go to visit your children

Whoa Black Betty

making a "I'm not the backup QB, I'm just the QB who backed up" shirt for Jarrett Stidham

Welp today has been absolute shit but at least I ran into @thegurglingcod.bsky.social at the mall

Michigan freshman Oscar Goodman gets a huge slam and the bench completely loses it

Michigan with the run heavy 45 second drive because of course

Give The Pope A 1990s Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket

Reboot The Simple Life but it's Brian Kelly and Billy Napier have to drive around America coaching shitty football teams.

Michigan needs cart blanche coaching upgrades far more than it needs growth from Bryce. Insane death by 1,000 paper cuts

Michigan by a billion

Reminder that Violent J of Insane Clown Posse has the correct response to a lot of the shitty things he said in the early days.

The NBA on NBC is back, check out the new intro with Roundball Rock

Lions about to pull a dentist out of the crowd to play slot corner

Wait. Is J. K. Simmons the Yellow Peanut M&M?

Skubal just Chalameted Big Dumper.

I saw Jane Goodall do a talk in my hometown as a kid and she greeted the crowd with "good evening, or as the chimpanzees say, ooo ooo AAAHH AHHHH AHHHH OOOO AHHH OOOO OOOOOOO AHHHH" and everybody stood up and applauded. Swear to God.

Generals gathered in their masses/ to listen to this fucking jackass

Average Gen X voter

It’s Wink time — Wink

Points please

Michigan should run the Touchdown play again

Lol

This is the worst tackling Michigan team since… Gerg?

@cjzero.bsky.social did you catch the It balloon on that last Nebraska kickoff???

Going to be a real Children of the Corn game.

Nope

Putting the American Flag forever stamp upside-down on my quarterly tax payment to indicate that my country is distress

“We should invent a bears QB jersey with switchable nameplates- or a subscription service so every time they get a new QB, you get the new jersey” - bears fan behind me as I am walking into soldier field … the optimism is through the roof

@makesomenoiseshow.bsky.social New @brennanleemulligan.bsky.social prompt just dropped

Calendar flips to August and the yard work playlist flips to college football preview podcasts

No way the Tigers not doing jack shit at the deadline comes back to bite them 24 hrs later