Weekend here

There is no other opinion I’ll entertain other than bigots deserve to have their lives ruined for the rest of whatever miserable time left they have on Earth 👍

Gun to my head? Yeah, I’d eat a little bit of Grogu.

John Fetterman: permanent spot in oaf hell!

Every post is a prayer for a guy like me.

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie and Grogu

MEAT PUPPETS HAS SOLD OUT ITS FIRST RUN! Thank you to all who purchased, and if you haven't, there is still time! Go! Run!

American Night of Long Knives will take place in a McDonald’s parking lot.

I don’t have a mom so I went on a boat instead 👍

The Jellyroll World Cup song is atrocious, abominable, should be wiped off the face of the Earth. In that, it’s 100% the song for the USA

...bared my soul in the group chat and got 3 😓🫵

...bared my soul in the group chat and got 3 😓🫵

Some are calling it the most anticipated post-Wallace metafiction of 2026…Decide for yourselves! Read an excerpt here! Purchase link within! apocalypse-confidential.com/2026/05/05/m...

Christopher Nolan I will see you in Hell!!!

Friday again

The micropress will survive whatever the future holds…like a small burrowing mammal or? a simple fern…

Need a David Dees style edit where the hand is painted like an Israeli flag with a demonic smiling Netenyahu floating in space but also some Masonic symbols for some reason, a cackling Hilary Clinton

And I have to renew my passport 😭

So proud to be part of the publishing team for this, get your copy now!

Sent two very sensitive emails in the span of an hour to the wrong person…

Having a diva-off (I’m losing)

The year is 2025. Elon appoints his epic rickenmorty talkin' AI, Grok as nationwide air traffic controller. I die in a fiery explosion as Grok sees this plane come in on radar and generates 7000 words about how much he wants to fuck Princess Peach instead of directing it to land

The people are crying out!!

Found some ancient drafts

There were a lot of erotic thriller movies in the 80s and 90s but that genre has kinda faded. I think they were just too boring, and the casting didn’t help. Who would you put in a modern erotic thriller to make it more interesting? I’ve got my answer.

gas station breakfast has me feeling like the white count dooku

Portland is the kind of place where at any given moment the most annoying people on Earth can congregate wherever you are almost instantly 👍

⚓️🏚️🍾🪗👻🪰🩼🎡 -Tom Waits emojis

Extended my taxes because what if it happens

The AI photo was fake but this is real

I would like to ride around Islamabad on a Honda Shadow

Concerned but intrigued about what’s going on with my neighbors

Phlegm Fatale

Not to be dramatic but the Artemis II crew bringing all of us a sense of wonder amidst the rubble feels indescribable.

Going to get a huge sandwich & there is no one to stop me.

My daughter, Biliary Atresia.

God’s spreadsheet has not rows and columns but rather radii and transits, emanating from a blinding, unknowable center

Anxieties of the flesh are happening in every home you know, fr.

Once again 👆

Who up, widening their gyre?

Before playing Kamancheh, he says: 'Hello, I'm Mohammad-Reza Afarideh, the director of the ed. institute that has now been destroyed. I wanted the last sound coming from my institute not to be of missiles and war; (I want the) final sound to be of the instrument that I played in it. Thank you'.

Trump uttering “fuck my Chungus life” as he’s wrapped up in the straight jacket and carted off to the inaugural American Struggle Session.

Telling my management company they cannot raise my rent due to the War Clause.

Might as well crush everything in my path

Partaking of the waters

Let me know when Jesus can play like Ann Wilson