I hope this never becomes a ratings hit because then they’ll have to cancel it

3:01 AM: "Welcome to Spirit Halloween Airlines!"

Believing that an intelligent being created the universe is madness. However, it is clear that this series of conditional statements is ensouled.

it is important to emphasize that this was *the point*. this was *intentional*. elon musk is a vicious white supremacist who thinks poor african children ought to die, so that the world can be whiter

The same people who "not all men!" get really mad if survivors of sexual assault assumed that maybe not all men.

THE DALAI LAMA IS WEAK ON MONETARY POLICY.

It almost hurts to type this, but well done, fifth circuit

I think that men who are too sexist to take pink collar jobs should be allowed to starve to death

BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms

A remarkable photo from #NoKings in DTLA from Connor Sheets of @latimes.com www.latimes.com/california/l...

damnatio memoriae, you're hearing it more and more, folks, we're going to erase his name from the history books very strongly, big strong men, tears in their eyes, they're going to say, "trump, that's an unusual name, i've never heard that one"

Strong “Germany at the end of World War II” vibes

I just heard a bird chirping outside my window! It’s midnight! Go to sleep, bird!!!

Can this be a solution?

NO NO NO YOU DON’T GUYS LET ME PLEASE SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF FREE TAX USA federal is free, state is $16, handles even my chaotic freelancer taxes just fine, same step-by-step “designed for normies” kind of interface as TurboTax but NOT EVIL tell everyone you know www.freetaxusa.com

I don’t think the status of the Strait of Hormuz will affect gas prices very much once every oil depot in the Middle East has been bombed.

Helluva way for the president to refer to dead soldiers — soldiers killed in a war he started. www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

I don’t understand how my kitchen is connected to my bedroom (they’re on opposite sides of the house), but I’m sure I’ll dream of shishito peppers tonight

Diesel is $6 in LA btw 🙃

the reverse version of those “evolution of man” drawings

Doomscrolling is the weaponization of literacy

When Trump came to power, he ripped up the peace deal that Obama had made, and used the uncertainty he created as an excuse to bomb Iran, insisting he had ended the problem he had created once and for all, except now he's bombing them again to solve the problem he created and previously solved?

What a time to be alive

they renamed it the Department of War so it would be that much easier to just add “Crimes” at the end of it

>"Matt Goodwin" >bad loss is he stupid

As someone who has (unfortunately) been elbow-deep in Epstein's emails, I can tell you: "Jewish in-group bonds" was not the "currency" Epstein used to facilitate his crimes. It was power, $$, and a deep-seated hatred of women. Any insinuation otherwise is weird. jewishcurrents.org/the-line-bet...

The next president must nationalize every catholic hospital in the United States.

Woe, wall of astigmatism be upon ye

I too enjoy free things that other people pay for.

“I can destroy the country” —Donald Trump, February 20, 2026

Half of Bluesky is complaining that the New York Times doesn’t recognize a Simpsons joke as a word. This truly is the website for 38-year-olds.

excuse me, this is a perfectly cromulent word

Dems need to promise that once they’re back in power, they’ll pardon immigrants who missed court dates or INS appointments during the Trump administration

Not sure why the Seahawks won Superb Owl 🤔 Can any ornithologists explain?

Reminder when you watch the Intuit Super Bowl ads, they have Super Bowl ad money because they are a successful rent seekers who have worked for decades to kill free, quality, public tax preparation services donmoynihan.substack.com/p/the-death-...

No Kings includes Draft Kings

Just realized that Jimmy Webb wrote my most and least favorite songs

This thread is 5 posts and they are all perfect

I absolutely must to see Luigi irl. He’s a knockout in photos, so he’s surely a Greek god in person.

Spelling Bee spoiler (sorta?) I vividly remember learning today’s pangram from The Simpsons Movie.

Dem leadership: changing this is a difficult process, you fool. You rube. You utter infant. Give us between $5 and $50 Mamdani, wiping grease off his hands: So it turns out there's a switch on this machine that puts it into either orphan-shredding mode or free school lunch mode. Just had to flip it

“Melania” is truly the worst experience I’ve had in a theater” -Abraham Lincoln

Did DOGE fire the Air Force One mechanics?

I’m happy when Trump burns the people who voted for him—not because I’m a sadist, but because it is the only way they might learn not to vote for politicians who harm me and others.

The lesson from the welfare-fraud scandal in Minnesota is that if Democratic state and Federal governments invest time and effort into fighting corruption and fraud they will receive zero credit for it, but the right-wing media-grievance industrial-complex will still use it to justify pogroms.

(Guy in HAZMAT suit runs Geiger counter over me resulting in wild and dense flurry of clicking noises) Me: sick beat, mind if I sample it?

Remember, Scott Adams won't see your posts focusing on his late-career bigotry, but J.K. Rowling might.

Can we normalize abolition?