FDA Bans Captain Morgan Rum After Having Way Too Much Of That Shit In College https://theonion.com/fda-bans-captain-morgan-rum-after-having-way-too-much-of-that-shit-in-college/

NEW: Formal resolution introduced in US House by Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) "Expressing the opposition of the House of Representatives to any grant of commutation, clemency, or pardon to federally convicted child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell"

Olivia Nuzzi is a woman who has seemingly been groomed to shape herself around the attention of much older men and to use that relationship to get what she wants. And the resulting "journalism" was lauded even when she was being very visibly racist.

Me feeling sorry for britani on Salt Lake City while everyone still hates her 😆

Cheap delivery is not an adequate replacement for a physical store. Grocery stores provide a range of services, not just food. And that’s assuming online delivery provides sufficient access to food. And there is no reason that poor consumers should be captured by an online-only service.

Imagine conceiving cheap delivery as something that just naturally and spontaneously happens independently of labor exploitation

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Lots of people sharing this clip because it's funny and cathartic but I also genuinely believe it's important. We have to win the narrative battle between "I live in a corrupt society and that's just how it is" and "I live in a corrupt society and we are going to defeat and humiliate these ghouls."

The Pulaski County prosecuting attorney did what???

stop using openai for anything, this company is e v i l

I joined Greg Bluestein on Politically Georgia where we talked about how our campaign was centering affordability well before it became the new trend. And what a winning strategy looks like. (Hint: it’s not running an ex-Republican because we actually lose more of our own when we do so).

It's funny how this isn't identifiable as a Conservative Opinion but is absolutely the sort of thing that runs on conservative opinion pages. An even split between "the traffic is so bad now" and "Mr. Trump, please exterminate the brutes." A perfectly American intellectual movement in that sense.

ICE deported a woman who owned a home in the US for 30 years. A judge banned ICE from deporting her to Sierra Leone where she had been tortured, so it deported her to Ghana, which kidnapped her and sent her back Sierra Leone anyway. ICE is part of this illegal conspiracy.

It’s like folks *want* to act like humans, but don’t trust their own human bodies or the humans around them? Humanity without humans is not humanity, folks.

Rush Hour 4? For real? Directed by the same Brett Ratner who had *six* different women allege sexual assaut and misconduct against him? Starring actor/comedian and Epstein flight log entry Chris Tucker? Weird.

"My mentor always tells me, 'Kim, dogs don’t bark at parked cars." They’re coming after critical race theory, 1619, intersectionality because these ideas mobilized people. They gave them the language to actually articulate what they were seeing with their own eyes," says Kimberlé Crenshaw.

Well I'm convinced

This is just from the past week. @washingtonpost.com @cbsnews.com

US can’t even stabilize the US

We really do have two different kinds of law now: District Court law (aka the law), and Supreme Court "law" (aka the U.S. House of Lords upholding Trump's personalist regime)

this dumb shit is what i mean when i say this is a purely aesthetic “politics.” yeah man, why can’t we have a fusion of cosmopolitan social democracy and revanchist hierarchies of wealth and privilege? tough question.

Your white homeboy will be a committed republican by the time he turns 35 stop listening to them they are going to come home to whiteness at some point.

Don’t know why but this very sad clip reminds me of that scene from “40 Year Old Virgin” where homie says a breast feels like a bag of sand.

Everything wrong with political journalism in one graf. This is not a policy proposal that exists but that doesn’t matter, what matters is that someone “won” by asking it bsky.app/profile/larr...

“We’re going to cut fraud and abuse the right way.” “We’re going to unmask the ICE agents and rebuild trust in communities.” “We’re going to focus on intellectual diversity to return to our mission, to address tomorrow’s challenges” All of these are different spins on Trump consolidation.

really is incredible how often "men are having a problem, let's fix it using someone else's entire life" comes up. does the institute for family studies understand that children are whole complete human beings whose existence cannot be used as a coping mechanism for their fathers' anxieties? (no)

i even loved the sex cardigan

When that Blackrock check clears

help

I’m gonna implore everyone here to take the W if only to experience the feeling again.

I jest binged watched RHOA about a year ago and I know the old lady gang had something say !

Omar El Akkad's One Day, Everyone will have Always Been Against This has won the National Book Award. This is a deserving, necessary win. His words need to be on all of our minds and in all of our hearts. "When it mattered, who sided with justice and who sided with power?"

Meeting Mamdani and immediately wanting to make out with him is the one and only time this president has been relatable.

this is your brain when your entire politics is just a set of aesthetics

if the republicans would like to be the party of public healthcare, antiracism, abortion, and LGBT rights, I’m more than happy to join up

this looks like an after school program where young people help out seniors at home

Laughing at Donald Trump saying he'd definitely feel comfortable living in Zohran Mamdani's New York on the same day that half the consultant brain-poisoned Democratic party voted to condemn socialism

Reporter: Stefanik has campaigned on calling Mamdani a jihadist. Do you think you’re standing next to a jihadist? Trump: No… but she's out there campaigning. You say things sometimes in a campaign. You’d have to ask her about that. I met with a man who is a rational person.

LOLOLOLOL

trump is, first and foremost, a starfucker

The dear leader tributes to their retiring ceo from people I know that work for evil corp (Walmart) on LinkedIn was… pretty weird! 🫠

Jesus christ lmao the GOP is never ever EVER escaping the death cult allegations

Mike Pence was asked to comment and what he said was "lol" and he in fact later phoned back to state for the record "lmao"

we can't "call it a comeback" because this mf never went away!

I feel like... and i could be wrong... many people are doing entirely too much to protect extremely harmful people