I guess this is the first time I’ve seen Jacob Misiorowski, and maybe it’s just the name, but I definitely pictured him as a husky bearded guy

liz-lemon-eyeroll.gif

Finally saw Weapons after managing to know nothing about it

Messy dog just leaving all her stuffed animals around her bed… wait hold on

Women only want to hear 4 words

Live-in personal trainer is unimpressed with my planks

Comrade Pope

My mostly-female running group has a lot of Swifties and I’m thinking of inciting a Taylor vs. Sabrina war

"We're in pursuit of two female suspects. One is wearing a green dress, pearls and has a lot of blue hair." "A lot of blue hair?! Hahaha! What a freak!"

Maps plz

There are two Mark Twains here tonight at Trek Triv.

omg did anyone else see that crazy looking lady next to the Yankees dugout?

It's time for Yankees baseball.

Fuckeeng Vlad

My favorite taco tortillas are the ones with small holes. You know, soft-pore corn.

Apparently people really don’t like the new Taylor Swift album? So of course it’s the only one besides 1989 (and maybe Folklore) that I’ve liked the whole thing and haven’t gotten quickly bored

The bidet is a great invention, they should make one that washes the whole body, not just the Ass

Man Harrison Bader really upped his hair game since leaving the Yankees

I don’t watch a lot of non Yankees baseball so I always forget how silly Ohtani’s batting stance looks

"Tonight, on Guinness book of world records: A man who holds the current record for least amount of faces, with none!" "Help me!"

“Que?”

Never seen The Osbournes. More broadly, I saw maybe 1 episode of the first season of Survivor and haven’t seen a single second of Reality TV since.

Choose your fighter:

Time for Aaron Boone to break out the ol’ “2004 ALCS Red Sox comeback” motivational tape again

lol - there’s 1 out in this inning still!

I know this is rich coming from a Yankees fan but the Blue Jays manager has the most punchable face

Back to back ads for toilet paper being sold by deceased babies and some sort of Noah's Ark amusement park. Signs of a healthy society.

It’s crazy that this pitcher has a pitch that’s literally never been seen before. Seems unfair?

[Sideshow Bob groan]

Fuckeeng Vlad

well

List of discontinued merit badges (Boy Scouts of America)

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

Her verbal diarrhea is 100% more entertaining if you read it in the voice of Peter from The Great

lightly ~dappled~

Holy crap

Should probably turn off this game now. I’m far too haunted by Game 5 still.

Absolutely wild that PC Richard and Son still exists

I haven’t actually watched much of the first 2 Yanks/Sox games til now. Holy crap is this ESPN camerawork terrible.

Some tweets are too perfect to be lost to the other site. @davidjroth.bsky.social

Wait so The Smashing Machine isn’t about the Fembots from Austin Powers?

the hierarchy of the Academy ... is about to change

The mechanism is “just do it already”

RIP

It's time for Yankees baseball.

(rip)