Vegans like “that one was cool til it started broadcasting Nazis”

Baby Billy (the character)

It has come to my attention that the Yankees have a prospect whose nickname can be "Dick-o-Matic" if he makes it to the big leagues.

Monkey. *touches earpiece* Correction: money.

Goddamn, I just looked at the schedule and all the live Olympic events end at like 2pm every day my time. Stupid time zones.

There were a few months when this was the only content Facebook would show me.

Ohhhhhhh, that’s who Gary Larson was drawing

I only know dad’s side, but I think it was basically “really enjoyed the Hungarian Civil War so decided to fight in the American one too”. He somehow made it the the rank of colonel for the Union despite apparently speaking little English, and by some accounts just roared like an animal.

One of my favorite jokes of all time is "Adolph Hitler Commits Suicide" being a tiny headline under the banner story about a hare-vs-tortoise race ... in 1943, two years before Hitler committed suicide. He was alive and well when the Warner Bros. cartoonists made this joke.

ten years ago today no one clapped

I’ve never been to a movie theater that was standing room only. They usually only sell the number of seats they have. Pretty impressive.

“I’m up to 1939 in my binge of American history, so I should be caught up soon!”

At last! Pants you can wear to the airport!

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

I'm gonna become the first guy to walk out of family court sentenced to death

Hm, it’s interesting how differently an election goes when it’s not accompanied by an entire national news media loudly repeating Republican talking points for months on end.

Feb 1st - Todd Ingram ate gelato, despite being vegan. 📽️📅 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

I saw a dude here in Mexico City wander past me in a shirt with a drawing where Deadpool was cutting al pastor off a trompo with his swords and also there was an arrow pointing at him and it said “DEADPOOL” I feel like I stared too long at an eclipse

A melania screening sounds like something health insurance covers under preventative care.

Denmark is not a serious country

…Nandor?

“If I knew women could be in movies? My god…”

Nooooooo

“we know you’re eating a hot dog”

“You get those Minnesota rioter photos?“ Sure did, boss, etc etc

Checkup time for the only 16 year old cat who manages to *gain* weight

Is there a harder way

This is very timely and good, but the end tag on this made me literally cackle.

this is one of the greatest uses of alt text I've seen

Hiring - en mask! @theonion.com

"I've been honkin'" "Honkin' on what?" "Honkin' on bobo"

Coming tantalizingly close to actually calling for an action

is it too late to call Bryan Fuller's Hannibal "Eated Rivalry"

Sean “Not-Timothy” McVay

Millions of Americans are doing this in real time and it's a sight to behold.

It’s telling that the online pharmacies that started off as “boner pills for men” have expanded into “and weight loss pills for women”. Great stuff.

Oh sure and THAT was a catch

An 80 lb wolf with anxiety, all bundled up for the snow

This reminds me of how we were watching Nathan for You recently and how much my dog hated the episode where he tries to make a smoke alarm a musical instrument. (My dog is not high IQ)

I for one am very exited for the State Farm Super Bowl commercial where Danny McBride and Keegan Michael Key crucify Jake I assume

This will be a great opportunity for the president to find out what his wife has been up to for the last few years

Wow, some of these quotes from Orwell’s 1984 are crazy prescient

I finally finished this Enterprise D LCARS cross stitch! Was supposed to take about a year, but longcovid had other plans for my brain and ability to count. So it's been over four years instead. It has a bazillion-jillion stitches in it.