Would she come in the form of a Domhnall Gleeson sex doll?

I’m proud to say that only 3 days after my marathon I’m finally able to sit down on the toilet without having to support my weight with my arms

Guess he also got tired of not being able to tell the difference between AI and Al

wyd with that trunk Snuf

They’re calling it “a politician’s ideal headline.” www.westword.com/news/colorad...

Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.

"Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” — John F. Kennedy Jr. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” — Robert F. Kennedy Sr. "Mommy milky." — Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

I just ran into the term "reverse footjob." I'm not sure what that means, but after considering the possibilities I've decided it's when a woman uses her feet to make a man suck up semen into his penis.

This is weird - this showed up in my notifications, but isn’t a reply to me nor does it mention me. Wth @support.bsky.team

I would draft Aaron Rodgers to defeat him with facts and logic

Spotify is garbage on every count: Its treatment of artists, its ICE advertising, the CEO's investment in military AI, its leading role in the commodification and AI slopification of music, its terrible audio quality—you name it. So I quit, and put together a complete guide to getting off Spotify:

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

“The great-nephew of Bo Jackson finds the end zone” sounds like a poor imitation of a Matt Christopher book

You can see the exact moment his brain remembers he was supposed to pitch the ball

Searching for a new litterbox and dying laughing at this cat who looks like a toilet astronaut.

If you are not following/annoyed by my Insta stories, you might have missed that I was doing this, but I ran a (1) marathon today. And boy are my arms tired! And also my legs and everything else. That is all.

“We need a brand name for these orthodontic rubber bands, something that really speaks to the product.” “You got it, boss.”

I like that Fox is clearly using older, healthier pictures of him because he hasn’t had a distinguishable neck in about 6 years

It just occurred to me that the WB purchase was announced one day after I resubscribed to Netflix. I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible that my $25 is the thing that pushed it over the finish line.

They’re going to make Michigan J. Frog sing “hello my enby.” Things of that nature

Having a real “put it in H” thing with this rental car, cuz I keep realizing the transmission isn’t shifting, and that I put it in B. There are no paddle shifters so I have no idea what it wants from me.

Soccer: the sport known for touching the ball with your hand.

Big spoon Little spoon Begrudging loaf

Curse’d headline

🎵Talos IV here we come🎵

A fun game I played is "starting at 1, how far til it's something I've heard of, and how far until it's something I've heard" 17 (and only because of a recent Onion headline), and n/a

Google drive wrapped says i uploaded 9 files this year

“Have Yourself A Merriam Little Christmas” Merriam, a career-oriented lexicographer from the city, returns to her small town for the holidays and meets Webster, a ruggedly handsome librarian, who shows her the true DEFINITION of Christmas.

Trump was born on third base and managed to steal second.

Not that there's a morally-neutral streamer out there, but tis the season of "wow a lot people are giving money to Joe Rogan's network"

Glad Star Trek now exists in LEGO form so I can do dumb things such as recreate scenes like this. #iykyk #definitelyfuckedaghost #subrosa

Mad Men 4K

As Promised: part 1 Least functional kitchen ever !

Quick someone create an AI article about how it’s good to tuck some ball bearings under your tongue while getting an MRI

“We have Rosario Dawson at home”

when you have had it with these iconoclastic snakes on this consecrated plane

My kingdom for a Democrat who runs on the platform of “we will raise taxes on income above $250k, and everyone below that will pay zero income tax”.

man, those later animorphs books got a little sidetracked

Oh the pundits got this all wrong... Strong floor? No, ceiling!

heard your mom has a big game today

Søtt, salt, *&* sprøtt? I denne økonomien?