He saw a spider run under the washer. Half an hour ago.

Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV

It’s official, Autumn has arrived.

It's getting to the point now where it should be called the Farage Broadcasting Company.

A pirate goes to the ship’s surgeon to have spots on his arm checked. The surgeon says, "They're benign". The pirate replies, "No, no doc. There be 11. I counted them before I came here." Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I possibly shouldn't have laughed. But I laughed very hard. Posted by Tarquin 🇺🇦 on Twitter. #GoCharlie

So sad that Comedian Janey Godley is not alive to greet the President on his state visit this week. I know he would have appreciated it.

A man in Washington, DC, plays the Imperial March from Star Wars while following patrolling soldiers. One of the soldiers threatens to call the police.

The parliamentary register of interests shows that Farage has made nearly £400,000 from GB News since August 2024, for c190 hours’ work. This suggests he is being paid more than £2,000 an hour by the news channel. All paid to Thorn In The Side Ltd owned solely by Farage 25% tax rather than HR

Nigel Farage looks uncomfortable as Jamie Raskin uses his opening statement to absolutely demolish him

Bugger, back to the garage lads …

My protest brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, “is this it”

Putin leaves Alaska, taking his souvenir with him

Modern British Conservatism, that of Burke, Liverpool, Peel, and Huskisson, was borne out of the fear of the mob violence of the Terror. And now, their supposed political heirs are inciting the mobs.

Motherfucking wind farms…

“Nationwide launches phoneline to help people apply for benefits - as £23billion left unclaimed” I don’t normally get excited about stuff banks do but this is genuinely excellent. So much goes unclaimed that people genuinely need. You can also use Turn2Us and EntitledTo

Getting ready for the state visit next.

Repost!

There’s a poisonous poseur at large Who goes by the name of Farage He’s secretly rootin’ For Orban and Putin A fascist in tweed camouflage He’s wealthy as Croesus and posh All this “man of the people” is tosh No working class roots He’s still banking at Coutt’s His backers donate all the dosh.

Watch @EdDavey.LibDems.org.uk call out the BBC for their failure to hold Nigel Farage to account.

Just imagine if 50-150 Israelis were being murdered every day. Would the Media ignore it? Would they say they had died without attributing any blame to anyone? Would our leaders ignore a concentration camp for Israelis? No they wouldn't.

Happy Monday all …

I see Norman Tebbit has died. Every undertaker in Chingford …

Do sing along! 🎶Here we come, walkin' down the street, We get the funniest looks from every one we meet. Hey, hey, we're the Tories and people say we Tory around. But we're too busy sniping so we can put everyone down!🎵😁

If you'd rather we banned Israel and stopped supplying them with any weapons instead of banning Palestine Action. Spread the message, and prove we do.

In these challenging times someone might need one of them: Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247 Mind: 0300 123 3393 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 MH text support: 85258

Not too proud to admit I didn't know who Bob Vylan were two days ago, but now I know and now I'm a fan. Absolutely spot on in this statement, and I wish this government had 1% of their empathy and social conscience.

Morning Bluesky

😡

Fuck Brexit and the frog it rode in on.

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos' wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Have a national “Dress Like ICE” day where everyone wears a skull gaiter, an ill-fitting tactical vest with an Etsy POLICE sticker on it, Shein camouflage cargo pants, and the douchiest Oakleys available. If anyone gets upset and starts claiming to be “real ICE” everyone laugh and say “sure buddy.”

Sign the petition to Keir Starmer: Oppose Trump's war on Iran stoptrump.org.uk/petition-tru...

Interesting that people who spray paint planes can get banned as terrorists in 24 hours. But people who burn people alive or dump sewage for profit never ever even get stopped from doing business.

We must destroy the billionaires before they destroy us. This is the only war that needs to be fought. And it must be won if you want a future.

Well, that was embarrassing, I thought I heard someone say hello to me in Arabic this morning. But it turned out to be a false Salaam.

Punked yet again

8 years later and not a single person has been put on trial for Grenfell, even though a report a year ago listed all the people involved, and what they did or didn't do. They don't want to convict them, because they are rich.

They really should remove the World Cup from the USA and let Canada and Mexico do it all. Spread the message if you agree.

Roses are crap Brexit was too Gibraltar’s Rejoined Can we go back in too? #Remainer #Rejoineu #Breturn #Brejoin #Remoan

Re: The Madleen. Was it promised to the Israelis 2000 years ago?

Re the Israeli impounding of the Madleen. Why aren’t the UK Govt getting involved in this? If the Houthis had done the same thing the Royal Navy would be getting involved, or missiles would be flying.