"I has the precious!" [AI Satire]

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Since Ceasefire: 153 TONS Bombs Dropped 62 Shootings WestBank 67k Killed 169k Injured 4k Children Lost Limbs 154 Children Starved to Death 355 Bullets HindRajab 1722 Aid Workers Murdered 300 Journalists Murdered 34 Hospitals Destroyed 2 ICC Warrants Issued >>ZERO ACTIONS!<

Just bought my Christmas Tree from a van around the back of the market and the man said if I gave it plenty of light and water, he would even and come and take it away for me in January! What a great deal and what a nice young man he was!!!

Chilly dog walk this afternoon rewarded with this view of the closed Fiddler’s Ferry power station. Or is it the Eye of Sauron?

"I said that Nigel Farage never abused anyone in a hurtful or insulting way. What did I say Roy?" "You said he's a racist twat"

15:45 on a Friday afternoon. Utility contractors close the footpath outside my house and come off part of the road. 16:00 they dig a hole in the footpath. 16:15 they drive away leaving the footpath closed, the road coned off and a hole in the footpath. I wonder when/if they’ll return?

NEW The letter the BBC could send back to Trump A proposal for a reply to his $1bn claim By me. Enjoy. emptycity.substack.com/p/the-letter...

America must have the worst healthcare system on the planet if we can’t even get dementia treatment for our own President.

Most people seem to have missed who retweeted this picture of Farage in Gill’s office a few days after Gill began receiving his first bribes from Oleh Voloshyn (Oleg Voloshin). None other than…

After 200 years can we admit that The Luddites were right all along. Automation leads to fewer jobs, lower wages, devalues skilled labour and leads to exploitation by the rich company owners.

Britons ripped off by the energy industry. No govt curbs profiteering. Nationalise energy, reduce inflation, poverty, business costs, rebuild economy.

He saw a spider run under the washer. Half an hour ago.

Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV

It’s official, Autumn has arrived.

It's getting to the point now where it should be called the Farage Broadcasting Company.

A pirate goes to the ship’s surgeon to have spots on his arm checked. The surgeon says, "They're benign". The pirate replies, "No, no doc. There be 11. I counted them before I came here." Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

I possibly shouldn't have laughed. But I laughed very hard. Posted by Tarquin 🇺🇦 on Twitter. #GoCharlie

So sad that Comedian Janey Godley is not alive to greet the President on his state visit this week. I know he would have appreciated it.

A man in Washington, DC, plays the Imperial March from Star Wars while following patrolling soldiers. One of the soldiers threatens to call the police.

The parliamentary register of interests shows that Farage has made nearly £400,000 from GB News since August 2024, for c190 hours’ work. This suggests he is being paid more than £2,000 an hour by the news channel. All paid to Thorn In The Side Ltd owned solely by Farage 25% tax rather than HR

Nigel Farage looks uncomfortable as Jamie Raskin uses his opening statement to absolutely demolish him

Bugger, back to the garage lads …

My protest brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, “is this it”

Putin leaves Alaska, taking his souvenir with him

Modern British Conservatism, that of Burke, Liverpool, Peel, and Huskisson, was borne out of the fear of the mob violence of the Terror. And now, their supposed political heirs are inciting the mobs.

Motherfucking wind farms…

“Nationwide launches phoneline to help people apply for benefits - as £23billion left unclaimed” I don’t normally get excited about stuff banks do but this is genuinely excellent. So much goes unclaimed that people genuinely need. You can also use Turn2Us and EntitledTo

Getting ready for the state visit next.

Repost!

There’s a poisonous poseur at large Who goes by the name of Farage He’s secretly rootin’ For Orban and Putin A fascist in tweed camouflage He’s wealthy as Croesus and posh All this “man of the people” is tosh No working class roots He’s still banking at Coutt’s His backers donate all the dosh.

Watch @EdDavey.LibDems.org.uk call out the BBC for their failure to hold Nigel Farage to account.

Just imagine if 50-150 Israelis were being murdered every day. Would the Media ignore it? Would they say they had died without attributing any blame to anyone? Would our leaders ignore a concentration camp for Israelis? No they wouldn't.

Happy Monday all …

I see Norman Tebbit has died. Every undertaker in Chingford …

Do sing along! 🎶Here we come, walkin' down the street, We get the funniest looks from every one we meet. Hey, hey, we're the Tories and people say we Tory around. But we're too busy sniping so we can put everyone down!🎵😁

If you'd rather we banned Israel and stopped supplying them with any weapons instead of banning Palestine Action. Spread the message, and prove we do.

In these challenging times someone might need one of them: Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247 Mind: 0300 123 3393 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 MH text support: 85258

Not too proud to admit I didn't know who Bob Vylan were two days ago, but now I know and now I'm a fan. Absolutely spot on in this statement, and I wish this government had 1% of their empathy and social conscience.

Morning Bluesky