Still you

Curtis Sliwa feels like that uncle who you wouldn't want to have a say in anything important, but he'd be the first person you'd go to to get illegal fireworks.

this one doin numbers on mastodon but bsky doesn't let me have enough characters

Heart

@knife-fxg.bsky.social Love you Ma'am, now and forever. 😽

Get it done at Costco, it'll be better quality at half the price when you purchase enough for the constellation.

Apropos of nothing, after this weekend I'm fairly certain hitting triple digits of medical staples and needles in my body simultaneously would cure my depression.

My body is a machine that turns pain into orgasms.

More women should have two hot transfemmes put 35 medical staples in their thigh. It's me I'm women.

😻😽😻

Spooky month

Comm for @sheppybleppy.bsky.social

Doggy comm

I am very good at getting stuff done, it's direction I crave. Point me at whatever you want done, and let me run at it. Through uplifting my Owner I uplift myself. @knife-fxg.bsky.social

Kitten, but whose counting?

at least it’s only a four day week at least it’s only a four day week at least it’s only a four day week at least it’s only a four day week

Silly

Job

what if his neck just did that

big day today 💜

Owner and I were playing a game of Warcry last night. Me: This rulebook is needlessly dense. Why restate the same thing 3 times? Owner: Because the people who play GW games will argue any edge case to win Me: There's an easy way to stop that Owner:? Me: Give the judges .45s

WHEN UR MAD AT ME,,, THIS IS WHO YUIR MAD AT

☎️ so THEN she told me to move my car and- ….Hold on Margret my wife is fucking with the curtains again… I THOUGHT TOLD YOU BEDTIME TWO HOURS AGO. Why are you naked??? Yes I see him… Absolutely not… Because you have work tomorrow. Okay, yep, Say goodnight to Mr raccoon

i feel most at home in my body when it's being cut and pierced and beaten

Me to Owner: You have attractive friends Owner: Yeah I have good taste Me: You must like me for my personality Owmer: *flicks me between the eyes*

Yeah it's not wrong

“D-don’t talk ill of the dead!” I can and I will. If you actively worked to make the lives of the working class harder and shittier I’m gonna talk ill. You don’t want your grave pissed on maybe don’t fuck people over on a national scale.

Hockey is a sport for baseball players/fans who are too angry to play/watch normally.

@w1v3rn.bsky.social You're cooked too.

@knife-fxg.bsky.social You're cooked

I was going to post this last night, but I crashed too hard. Got to hang out with @knife-fxg.bsky.social Owners cometary partners/metas yesterday evening and I had a great time! Y'all were lovely and I cannot wait to do it again sometime in the future. Thank you for a wonderful time!

not very persuasive | patreon.com/lubchansky

i sure do love those 30 seconds after waking up when i haven’t yet remembered about The Things

I am so fucking excited to meet everyone and see the sites!

Me: It'd be nice to just turn my brain off. Owner: I regularly do turn your brain off. Me:Yeah, but it would be nice for it to last for like...a month Owner: I'm not sure you could maintain that headspace for that long. Me: Oh, I know how and it's easy. Owner:??? Me: Lobotomy! *awkward thumbs up*

there is no top shortage, go outside

Me after an impact scene typing to owner on my phone because I went nonverbal: We're going to see what wins out, the pain or the autism. Pic attached for proof.

the problem with being a hot girl is you have to act like a hot girl and i just want to be an autistic gremlin

Im corrupting you? Oh no, im just helping you discover your true self. Your true self loves being doll. Your true self loves getting on its knees and doing as it's told. Your true self wants to shut off its brain and be a good sex doll. So stop lying to yourself hun and give in~

"is your holodeck program just...simulating a desert habitat where you can run around as a four-legged coyote?" "uh, yeah... why?" "because there was a malfunction and one of the engineers got stuck in there for a week, and she has species dysphoria now"

Me: I'm glad I've never broken a bone, I'd probably cum on the spot.

*Owner says something extremely faggy* Me: Faggot *Owner starts making out with me* Me: *Pulls away* Wow, so me calling you a slur makes you horny? Owner: Okay, half-dyke 🙄 Me: