Greg Nix
@chortle.blog
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Head Hog @ Chortle Blog www.chortle.blog
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Greg Nix
Josh Gondelman
3 days ago
I know this is not the biggest concern going these days, but it stresses me out that basically every artist/writer/critic is now expected to create their own tiny empire instead of getting paid by any existing entity to perform a job they've worked to get good at!!!!
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Molly Knight
4 days ago
I’ve never been so certain Nithya is going to win lol
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There are bodies of water that are bigger, deeper, better smelling. But right now, in the summer of 2026, there is no body of water in America that is more talked about than the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. And she knows it.
www.chortle.blog/p/exclusive-...
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An Exclusive Interview with the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool
Washington's most-talked-about body of water is ready for her close-up.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/exclusive-interview-lincoln-reflecting-pool-algae-bloom
4 days ago
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Duotrope
4 days ago
The Smart Search List of the Day is: Humorous Fiction feat. @johnnyamericazine.bsky.social @flashfictiononline.bsky.social @pointsincase.com @chortle.blog et al.
https://duotrope.com...
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Smart Search List of the Day
The Smart Search List of the Day is: Humorous Fiction feat. @johnnyamericazine.bsky.social @flashfictiononline.bsky.social @pointsincase.com @chortle.blog et al. https://duotrope.com/search/smart/fiction/humorous-fiction-h05vAkFk
https://duotrope.com/search/smart/fiction/humorous-fiction-h05vAkFk
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Just over a week left to submit your humor pieces! Cc
@duotrope.com
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6 days ago
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I just posted a new call for submissions! Send me your funny stuff, humor
#writers
.
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June Submissions Are Now Open!
I’m paying for funny pieces about America 🇺🇸🦅đź«
https://www.chortle.blog/p/june-writing-submissions-short-humor-comedy
13 days ago
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It was funny when Taylor Swift ruined everybody’s football games, but now she’s ruining my basketball game. Get outta here, Taylor.
18 days ago
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M.R. Robinson
20 days ago
If you have ever emailed a writer to let them know you enjoyed something they wrote, you are among the noblest and best and most saintly in this entire world, and I hope you sleep really well tonight.
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Hello, Mister President. It looks like you’ve got me. That’s right, you’ve finally caught the man who rigged California’s primary election.
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I Rigged California's Election
You caught me red-handed, Mr. President.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/i-rigged-californias-election
19 days ago
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Taco Bell Quarterly
22 days ago
Just put yourself out there, the more embarrassing it feels, the better you're doing, I swear
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beetle moses
22 days ago
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After careful consideration, I have made the difficult decision to withdraw Gator’s Tilt-A-Whirl from the Great American State Fair. This event does not align with our principles as an organization that includes one man and several tons of uninsurable machinery.
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Gator's Tilt-a-Whirl Also Drops Out of Trump's Great American State Fair
Gator: "This is not about politics."
https://www.chortle.blog/p/great-american-state-fair-trump-bret-michaels-drop-out
26 days ago
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Matt Pearce
about 1 month ago
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I’ve started measuring my life with sabermetrics, and I don’t love my stats right now… WAR: -1.2 (Weekends Actually Rested) K%: 18 (Kid, Percent Satisfied) xWIF: .773 (Expected rate at which I irritate my wife)
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Advanced Baseball Statistics for Real Life
Using sabermetrics to measure my weekend.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/advanced-baseball-statistics-real-life-sabermetrics
about 1 month ago
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Lmao this is a great piece
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about 1 month ago
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Did you love these Michael Jackson biopic? If so, you’ll definitely enjoy these other non-controversial films!
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Upcoming Biopics from the Producers of 'Michael'
The hot new Hollywood trend: feel-good stories about feel-bad people.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/upcoming-biopics-from-the-producers
about 2 months ago
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Alissa Walker
2 months ago
I wrote about the photo, but I am still very interested in where this particular torch came from and how it was decided that we would be giving it to him on behalf of the city
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She really didn't need to do this
Over the last two years, we've watched gutless leaders go groveling to the White House with gilded gifts to appease our authoritarian overlord. And now Karen Bass is part of that club
https://www.torched.la/she-really-didnt-need-to-do-this/
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Wow, a price update! This sounds like an exciting opportunity for me.
2 months ago
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This is shocking and embarrassing
@mayor.lacity.gov
. A smiling photo op with the man who sent ICE into our city? Fuck off, Karen.
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2 months ago
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Earth Day is this week! Learn about the holiday’s past, present and future right here.
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A Timeline of Notable Earth Days: 1970 to 2145
A noble past and an illustrious future.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/timeline-notable-earth-days-past-future
2 months ago
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Mae sure you know whether you’re filing your taxes Frantically or Redundantly!
www.chortle.blog/p/lesser-kno...
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16 Lesser Known Tax Filing Statuses
You may qualify for a Romantic tax break.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/lesser-known-tax-filing-statuses-satire
2 months ago
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Quincy Scott Jones
3 months ago
Reposting this
@chortle.blog
piece from
@ninasharmawriter.bsky.social
because once again reality is trying to one-up satire.
www.chortle.blog/p/college-pr...
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Ugh, what a morning. Sorry, I am late for work, but with the Strait of Hormuz closed, it is really throwing everything off. You guys get it, right?
www.chortle.blog/p/sorry-im-l...
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Sorry I’m Late, The Strait of Hormuz is Closed
We're all feeling the effects.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/sorry-im-late-the-strait-of-hormuz
3 months ago
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Grudgie the Whale
3 months ago
Every single day Trump acts out in a way that would get you banned from Dave & Busters and the media types up things like “Trump challenges limits of executive theory.”
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Kudos to the NCAA for correctly intuiting that when I turn on the Final Four, what I’m hoping to see is two DJs performing.
3 months ago
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Corey Atad
5 months ago
doing commercials used to be a shameful thing that you had to go to Japan to do
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Hell yeah, Nithya is great.
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5 months ago
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Bass is such a coward. We gotta get rid of her asap.
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5 months ago
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Duotrope
5 months ago
Chortle @chortle.blog (Fiction Nonfiction Art; pays) opened to submissions
https://duotrope.com...
#amwriting
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Re-opening: Chortle
Chortle @chortle.blog (Fiction Nonfiction Art; pays) opened to submissions https://duotrope.com/magazine/chortle-38591 #amwriting
https://duotrope.com/magazine/chortle-38591
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I’m seeking humor writing about love for my newsletter! Accepted pieces pay $100. Please share with your funny friends!
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Submissions Are Now Open!
I'm paying $100 for funny pieces about love.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/valentine-submissions-2026
5 months ago
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El Centro absolutely sucks, so at least we have that.
www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...
5 months ago
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Brendan Hay
5 months ago
LA folks in Echo Park/Silverlake: ICE is staging at Vons on Alvarado, and have kidnapped vendors on Sunset and Alvarado and Sunset and Echo.
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Been thinking about this song a lot recently. Two dead in MN. Dave is a real one.
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5 months ago
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Turns out the concept of a “fresh hell” doesn’t really ring true once all this shit starts blurring together.
5 months ago
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What’s a word for being equally heartened and disheartened? I’m in awe of the bravery of Minnesotans and in despair at the thought that this will only escalate.
5 months ago
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Aaron Reichlin-Melnick
5 months ago
You have to read this. Firsthand affidavit from one of the women who was there and recording the video. She talks about how Alex Pretti was directing traffic when she arrived. She watched him be killed in front of her. She's afraid to go home, worried she'll be arrested.
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Marisa Kabas
5 months ago
this is it. this is the level. this is the standard for democratic officials. anything less is intolerable.
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molly conger
5 months ago
they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.
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Whoever this guy is for President.
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5 months ago
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Jay Willis
5 months ago
I have spent my entire adult life being lectured by Republican politicians and conservative legal movement types about how important it is to preserve the sacred constitutional right to self-defense of *specifically this person* and then secret police murdered him in the street
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I thought the meaning of “ice” was pretty set in stone! It’s always referred to cubes or rinks or occasionally Val Kilmer. It definitely has never meant “a fascist goon squad of five-year high school grads.”
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It's me, Ice
I'm not I.C.E.
https://www.chortle.blog/p/its-me-ice
5 months ago
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Taco Bell Quarterly
5 months ago
Creative writing will survive humanity's greatest crisis. The robots can never replicate my need for attention
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Greg Nix
Taco Bell Quarterly
5 months ago
Fiction dead? No one reads anymore? The obituaries they write are their own, not yours! Live más!
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Greg Nix
Taco Bell Quarterly
5 months ago
I'm fully confident literary magazines will survive the AI apocalypse. There is no better time to become a creative writer. You already have an inside track because most people have never even heard of these things that can never die. We will be here with the cockroaches and Taco Bell
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Tim Onion
5 months ago
The most illustrative reply I’ve ever seen.
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My new theory: A.I. is basically just
@kenjennings.bsky.social
. Very knowledgeable, useful in many contexts, SHOULD NOT BE IN CHARGE OF THE ECONOMY.
www.chortle.blog/p/ai-ken-jen...
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Meet Our New A.I., Ken Jennings
We're implementing Ken Jenningses across the globe!
https://www.chortle.blog/p/ai-ken-jennings-artificial-intelligence
6 months ago
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Jay
6 months ago
The president called this grieving woman and her murdered wife professional agitators. The federal government called them terrorists. We are ruled by irredeemable monsters
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Living in America makes me feel disgusted and heartbroken in new ways almost every single day. I really don’t know how to handle it.
6 months ago
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Ken Jennings
6 months ago
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
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Tony Delgado 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
6 months ago
"The Criterion Closet, in direct contravention of this administration’s priorities, acts as an expertly curated sanctuary for foreign films that are criminally difficult to find."
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We're Going to Deport Every Foreign Film in the Criterion Closet
A memo from your friends at ICE.
https://open.substack.com/pub/chortleblog/p/foreign-films-ice-border-patrol-deportations-criterion-collection?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
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