doing commercials used to be a shameful thing that you had to go to Japan to do

Hell yeah, Nithya is great.

Sorry, but Trump posting something racist about the Obamas is just about the least shocking thing he could do.

Bass is such a coward. We gotta get rid of her asap.

Kesha "Keke" Moore is the 222nd Legend. She joined and left me this note: "I move best in rooms with grown creatives who already know how to build" We are 3 Legends away from my goal for this month. Are you feeling like making a Legendary move like Keke?

After executing Alex Pretti on Saturday, ICE has shifted to primarily targeting bus stops and elementary schools in my community this week. I cannot overstate how much of the ICE activity in my community is just targeting places where little kids are.

Chortle @chortle.blog (Fiction Nonfiction Art; pays) opened to submissions https://duotrope.com... #amwriting

I’m seeking humor writing about love for my newsletter! Accepted pieces pay $100. Please share with your funny friends!

El Centro absolutely sucks, so at least we have that. www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...

LA folks in Echo Park/Silverlake: ICE is staging at Vons on Alvarado, and have kidnapped vendors on Sunset and Alvarado and Sunset and Echo.

Been thinking about this song a lot recently. Two dead in MN. Dave is a real one.

Turns out the concept of a “fresh hell” doesn’t really ring true once all this shit starts blurring together.

What’s a word for being equally heartened and disheartened? I’m in awe of the bravery of Minnesotans and in despair at the thought that this will only escalate.

You have to read this. Firsthand affidavit from one of the women who was there and recording the video. She talks about how Alex Pretti was directing traffic when she arrived. She watched him be killed in front of her. She's afraid to go home, worried she'll be arrested.

this is it. this is the level. this is the standard for democratic officials. anything less is intolerable.

they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.

Whoever this guy is for President.

I have spent my entire adult life being lectured by Republican politicians and conservative legal movement types about how important it is to preserve the sacred constitutional right to self-defense of *specifically this person* and then secret police murdered him in the street

I thought the meaning of “ice” was pretty set in stone! It’s always referred to cubes or rinks or occasionally Val Kilmer. It definitely has never meant “a fascist goon squad of five-year high school grads.”

Creative writing will survive humanity's greatest crisis. The robots can never replicate my need for attention

Fiction dead? No one reads anymore? The obituaries they write are their own, not yours! Live más!

I'm fully confident literary magazines will survive the AI apocalypse. There is no better time to become a creative writer. You already have an inside track because most people have never even heard of these things that can never die. We will be here with the cockroaches and Taco Bell

The most illustrative reply I’ve ever seen.

My new theory: A.I. is basically just @kenjennings.bsky.social. Very knowledgeable, useful in many contexts, SHOULD NOT BE IN CHARGE OF THE ECONOMY. www.chortle.blog/p/ai-ken-jen...

The president called this grieving woman and her murdered wife professional agitators. The federal government called them terrorists. We are ruled by irredeemable monsters

Living in America makes me feel disgusted and heartbroken in new ways almost every single day. I really don’t know how to handle it.

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

"The Criterion Closet, in direct contravention of this administration’s priorities, acts as an expertly curated sanctuary for foreign films that are criminally difficult to find."

We are the sons and daughters of the Timothées you couldn't Chalamet.

In some ways, this was the most shocking week of ‘Reality’ in recent memory. No spoilers, but let’s just say that it featured more horrific twists than an episode of ‘The Walking Dead’ starring Chubby Checker.

I had something published on @chortle.blog this morning. Please check it out if you'd like a laugh, especially you @criterionchannl.bsky.social 😉

This year, we’re once again forgoing a traditional “gift guide” in favor of a spotlight on the hottest GRIFTS of 2025—because nothing says “I care” like helping a loved one achieve financial prosperity via moral bankruptcy.

At the heart of it all, these guys are all compulsive freaks.

"Among members of Gen Z, the use of a semicolon is considered rude." open.substack.com/pub/chortleb...

“A lot of people have stopped using semicolons, and nobody knows why. They aren’t bulky like fax machines or hard to fold like maps, so it can’t be one of those reasons.” More semicolon facts heavily researched by @greenleeish.bsky.social below!

Damn girl, you had a lot of issues! It’s Spotify Wrapped season again, and every place seems to have its own imitation—now including your therapist.

Dear Q-Tips, Your packaging warns, “Not to be inserted in your ear!” I disagree. If God didn’t want us to scratch our inner ears with your little cotton ball lollipops, maybe he shouldn’t have put a little pleasure center in there.

While others have laughed and joked at Nuzzi’s writing style and bizarrely terrible judgment, her account rang all too familiar to me. In fact, she’s helped me realize that it’s time for me to admit something: I also had an emotional affair with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Here is my account.

The holidays are here, which means it’s time to buy a gift card for your child’s teacher while idling in the school pickup line. Your choice says a lot about you as a parent—and it probably isn’t good.

Can someone who knows about weird Jesus people explain to me exactly what “a lot of prayer” means in this context?

Please delete this app, people.

Give it enough time, and even traditions become unrecognizable. You may be expecting to revisit your favorite old customs this week, only to find they’ve been quietly swapped out for bizarre new versions that almost but don’t quite resemble what you remember.

i promise i don’t mean to high horse this but if you’re thinking about giving lizza ten bucks there are a lot of good independent journalists whose work you could subscribe to for a month instead

I’m guessing Trump liked Mamdani because they spent the meeting talking shit about Andrew Cuomo.

Within Mickey and the Roadster Racers’ chromatic cacophony lies something pure. In an age of irony and postmodern detachment, this series offers something increasingly rare: CARS. I like cars. Show me more cars, Daddy!!!!

Important reporting here

Good news: these Pyramids will be built FAST. It’s insane. I can literally just, fucking, like, do it. I just have to, like, type it! And I can make like 100 Pyramids! I can make 1,000! Bad news: the Pyramids are not real.

Let’s face it: America loves sports gambling! And there’s virtually no downside, apart from threats to our athletes, undermining of competitive fairness, catastrophic damage to individual fans, and some level of contribution to the overall breakdown in our larger social contract.

The Inuit have one hundred words for snow. The Egyptians have fifty words for sand. I have twenty-six words for that weather where it’s too hot for a jacket but too cold for a T-shirt.

To get a read on the current moment, we polled 304 extravagantly rich assholes about their economic outlook. Their answers may surprise you.