In the same way that drinking water from a 32oz mason jar is more hydrating, ripping into a rotisserie chicken with your bare hands is more nutritious.

It makes your mouth taste like metal, but my symptoms stopped progressing after the first dose and and after 2 doses I feel like I'm getting over a mild cold.

Paxlovid is a hell of a drug.

I'm tired of large formats, wake me when someone brings back technicolor.

I got Raptured but the angelic choir is just singing “House of Jealous Lovers” on repeat

I'm at a film festival and multiple people (men) either mistook me for or told me I look just like a particular journalist. I finally looked her up and we look nothing alike, she just happens to also have red hair, bangs, and glasses.

LinkedIn should let you block companies. If I get one more notification about a job listing at Andruil Indistries I'm going to lose it.

Ben and Jerry are the only good hippies.

The Department of Justice has removed a study showing that white supremacist and far-right violence “continues to outpace all other types of terrorism and domestic violent extremism” in the United States. 🔗 www.404media.co/doj-deletes-...

"When was your last serious relationship," and, "can you explain the gap in your resume," are the same question. I will not elaborate.

I miss it

Activity bubbles might be the dumbest piece of UI instagram has ever forced upon its users, which is really saying something.

Doctor I trust more than RFK Jr

I'm re-watching the Conjuring movies in anticipation of seeing the new one and boy to those movies lose their luster when you know what total pieces of shit the Warrens were in real life.

July and August reads

CVS (in Los Angeles at least) has Covid vaccine appointments starting 9/4.

It's my birthday and I went out for a fun little drink even though it's too hot to live outside

When I look at Matt Rife all I see is Killface from Frisky Dingo

I think the technical term to describe what's it's like to work in the entertainment industry right now is "incredibly fraught with fucking bullshit"

It happened again

Using ChatGPT to see if it will mess up so you can dunk on it in a post is functionally the same as using it in earnest.

It’s Wallace Shawn Wednesday

If you stand with your shins pressed up against the carousel to wait for your baggage, you're a bad person.

Well, I'll be damned. It's royalty free and there's already six, generic manufacturers lined up. newatlas.com/infectious-d...

when the butt thief is in town

Hot take: I don't care what the irony-poisoned, libertarian, edge lord billionaires have to say about the world.

I went to a show tonight and a guy i went on a very bad date with a couple years ago was working the door. Yet another reason I'm glad I still wear a mask.

Every non-californian who seen Gavin newsom on some 30 second news show clip is like "oh wow, he's got juice" and every Californian is like "if you see Gavin in a dark alley, run as fast as you can, but it won't save you"

Me literally every month: *looks at calendar* Oh, that's where the sudden deep well of despair came from.

What if I go see Superman again just to feel something?

Setting off fireworks is such deeply antisocial behavior.

1978: You'll believe a man can fly 2025: You'll believe a man can care

A Superman who says "good gosh," is exactly what I needed.

I know it's first world problems but, I was feeling a little down so I decided to order sushi delivery as a pick-me-up, and instead of my yellowtail truffle hand roll and assortment of nigiri, I got some basic bitch named Katie's California rolls 😮‍💨

I got mildly (no damage, no injury) rear-ended on my way to jury duty so, I'm having a great day!

You are cordially invited to our Anti-Prime Sale, where every purchase will financially support bookstores, NOT billionaires 🥳

Added a bunch of nerdy bags to my depop depop.app.link/huhqTikCOUb

This was supposed to be a normal bluefin tuna study but something went wrong (actually, many things went wrong)

you know, they really did do this

Extremely on my bullshit ##lastfourwatched

Feeling this even harder with the Street Fighter news

What possible enjoyment is derived from setting off fireworks at 8:15am?

You would think starting the year off with the worst wildfire in LA history would put a damper on random fireworks, but you would be wrong.

June reads

I was watching the retrospective penultimate episode of ER and trying to fathom what life would be like with 15 years of job security and thinking about how streaming has effectively eliminated that type of opportunity. Sunday scaries, am I right?

"The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green." Happy Lottery day to you and yours.

Karen Bass is up for reelection next year. Who will be the Zohran Mamdani of Los Angeles?

let a thousand challengers fucken bloom

I got a tattoo today and the artist said that I, "sat like a rock, 10/10 good job." So, it turns out it is possible to get a good grade in tattoo.