gina carano getting sent to the shadow realm in 17 seconds the weekend before the mandalorian movie comes out is extremely funny

God damn John Fetterman. What a colossal fucking disappointment he turned out to be.

assimilate with Tommy Tuberville's culture (losing by sixty to Oklahoma State at home)

Asking the real questions

I would absolutely worship this DogPope

Nothing short of tribunals for the perpetrators and shunning of the collaborators.

When Dems take power, there must be retribution and accountability. We must punish, and we must hit back. The gloves must come off so we don’t go through this as a nation again

1. Flip the Senate this year 2. Block all GOP SCOTUS nominations 3. Hold the Senate and elect a Dem POTUS in 2028 4. Kill the filibuster 5. Pass HR1 6. Pass 18 year term limits on SCOTUS 7. Fill the 5 new vacancies with liberal justices 8. Have nice things

M'LADY

Isn't this literally the same guy that got his shit rocked by...(Checks notes)....Maxine Waters?

"Donald Trump says he's Jesus. Experts and biblical scholars are skeptical."

Maximum shareholder profits

I’ve given this a great deal of thought, trying to come up with the perfect joke for this moment, and this is what I have so far - POPE LEO: our religion teaches that this war is bad VANCE: wow, who died and made YOU head of the Catholic Church?? POPE LEO: well, you should know, you were there

Random MAGA chud making $50k or less in a state not called New York:

God has once again bestowed upon me the curse of literacy

JD Vance is the ultimate Reply Guy. He’s Well Actuallying the Pope about Catholic theology.

"I out pizza'd the Hut," I scream as federal agents push me into a black SUV

watching these guys trying desperately to defend something so utterly inauthentic and blatantly and cynically staged will never get old lol

“Birthright citizenship should be struck down. The 14th amendment was written at a time where we didn’t understand the consequences of it.“ Hello, Irony. Meet the 2nd Amendment.

2026 is such a wonderful time to be alive 😂

I had better see a record number of reposts on this.

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

Bible: In the end times there are gonna be charlatans who use my name to trick you into supporting evil and it will be incredibly obvious to everyone except you. Evangelicals: This section of the Bible has always been mysteriously vague.

Untranslated headlines in German are much clearer than New York Times headlines in English

Kayleigh: Will the Vice President be changing diapers? Usha Vance: Absolutely. He’s done his fair share of diapers.

one thing i will say as a general statement to all coaches of all teams at all levels: if you’re going to credit god for a win, i wanna see you out there after a loss being like “yeah, god fucked us over today, really let us down out there”

every single one of these fired losers will sycophantically praise trump on the way out and as soon as he dies will claim they were fired for being the only person in the room to dare to stand up to him

Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD): “Today President Trump has sacked Attorney General Pam Bondi, ending a tenure that will be remembered as a profound betrayal not only of the Department of Justice but of the American people the Department exists to serve." "For the record, the DOW was under 50,000"

"I'm a cop, I don't understand the law" is literally one of the most on-brand things I have ever heard in my life

Nope Nope #NoKings #Michigan

I hate how stupid everything is.

It’s cool that the highest level of our government is basically a Make-A-Wish program for middle-aged losers

Oh, so we’re definitely heading for the cool zone then. Great. I didn’t want a stable global economy anyways, that’s just boring.

trump’s biggest superpower is the ability to tell his most ardent supporters what idiots they are for believing his promises and knowing they’ll just say “please sir can i have another”

me paying $30 in gas to buy imported things that have been hit with tariffs bc joe rogan is learning about politics at age 58

WYDEN: Now, Mr. Mullin, remember you are under oath for these confirmation hearings and must answer truthfully if you know the answer. When did you stop beating your wife? MULLIN: (smugly and reflexively) "I don't recall." THUNE hides his face with papers as he attempts to disappear into his chair

Damnit WHO TOLD HER?!? This was so much funnier when she didn't know she was fired

Correction. Orwell never said this. He did however, warn that: "political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” (That's Politics and the English Language, one of my favorite essays)

Markwayne is actually a noble title, and is the Oklahoma equivalent to "Marquis," and may be passed on at the same time your father gives you his car dealership

I'd never tell anyone I'd won the lottery, but there would be signs

what fresh hell

Let me be clear: I’m glad Kristi Noem was fired. But we still have to abolish ICE.

LEWANDOWSKI: If this is your first flight on Fuck Plane...you have to fuck. [MARKWAYNE nods.]

He's not gonna sleep with you, Markwayne.

Pokémon has released a 30th anniversary logo for every single Pokémon. Quote this with your favorite! 💚 www.serebii.net/pokemon30/

WHEN THE GLOW OF THE BLOOD STAINED MOON SHINES UPON THE LAND.... THE AIMLESS SPIRITS OF SLAIN MONSTERS RETURN TO FLESH. THE WORLD IS THREATENED ONCE AGAIN.