trump’s dumb ass has made colbert the most beloved guy in media right now

Look, I know it’s been a hot minute since I last watched Matilda, but I completely forgot in that Mrs. Trunchbull’s first scene, she straight up fucken yeets a school kid by her pigtails and THAT is how you establish a proper villain

It happens.

Tired of being a Basic Bitch? Upgrade to Bitch+ for just $5.99/month

A lot of parenting is just “yes, and”-ing

I’m not sure which is better tbh

Can someone explain this to me, because I really don’t understand: why do the rest of us have to follow the law

Anyone have any good alternatives to google for search?

Those emails need to be finding me first

FUN FACT: This is where the term “banging” comes from

Finally, my entire life of not being able to accept a compliment, vindicated

I love how my Facebook feed is just wordless ai slop comics with the caption “deep meaning comic” only it’s impossible to tell what the comic is even saying What a cool world we live in

“Say one good thing about this administration” Well I guess I no longer wonder what I’d do with the Death Note if I ever got it. That’s not nothing.

evergreen (via the brilliant @smoothdunk2.bsky.social)

[first date] Him: So what do you do? Her: I’m a methodologist. Him: I didn’t ask about your religion.

they're trying to kill stoners

Doesn't hurt to know where they are :)

I would know, I have to live with me.

I love these idiots *so much* #dungeoncrawlercarl

current vibe

Yeah,,

the year is 2026. a penile implant surgeon that runs a YouTube series called Erection Connection has been chosen by the Trump administration to handle the hantavirus outbreak. we’re all going to die.

Starve a fever. Deprive a cold of sleep. Waterboard a case of the sniffles. Disregard the Geneva Conventions when you have a headache.

Why does the new Spotify logo look like an emoji the Hulk sends when he’s sad

Invert a band System Of An Up

reciting this with my children before hopping in my F-150 Raptor and taking the long way to Applebee’s to avoid the street where last week my cousin saw an “ethnic”

Y’all have been peeling your grogus before eating them???

You: please act normal you need these people to like you Me: ok! People: hi Me: ACAB includes tow truck drivers

americans will use anything but the metric system

Historically, I knew the Nazis were absurd losers. But I really wasn't prepared for how that would manifest in modern times.

Geography Entertainment History Art & Literature Science & Nature Sports & Leisure

…and that’s where baby archery targets come from. The End.

Gonna summon the Hat Man just to ask him if he only wears a hat because he’s covering a bald spot

Goddamn I love Dungeon Crawler Carl One chapter into the new book and I’m already having a great fucking time with it

The rhythm. It's right behind me, isn't it?

sufficiently large polygons are the domain of lovecraftian horror

“Use AI or get left behind” is just the 2026 version of this meme

i'm starting to suspect some of the people on this website do not have any love or friendship or joy in their lives and that's why they post like that

Rich people will dead ass be like “has you tried just having more money??”

Nobody goes through things quite like the Kool-Aid Man

Seeing my joke on a shirt is the closest I’ll get to having a child

Try farding instead of shidding

The only thing that’s aged poorly about this comic is Google being useful

ME: *vibing* MY BRAIN: Which letters of the alphabet do you think have impostor syndrome??? ME: This… can’t be what we’re doing rn MY BRAIN: I think B doesn’t think it deserves to hang with A and C, N is self-conscience around M, and Q knows it’s only at the party bc its friend U invited them

Delaware I don’t care it’s a state and not a city, I fucking hate Delaware. I try to drive, like, 10 highway miles barely clipping the state and every time I get stuck in an hour of traffic

Dude ranch implies the existence of dude bbq, dude honey mustard and dude sweet & sour

SCHRÖDINGER: We have no way of knowing if the cat inside this box is dead or alive SCHRÖDINGER: *pulls out pistol and cocks it* SCHRÖDINGER: …until I finish the job

Dear Meta, Please fuck all the way off No, further than that. Keep going

A ban on stock buybacks