Tow truck driver pulls up with Confederate Flag on for the cover on his phone. Me: We good, don't need your help. Him: That will be 50 dollars still. Me: Cool, I'll pay it to the next driver. Him: It's due to me. Me: I'll call the company and pay them.

I’d skip the wedding too if I knew the loser was probably going to have two or three more. Just like dad!

You know who’s the smartest guy in that room? There isn’t one.

(looking at phone) says here Skinamarink is what Popeye says when Olive Oyl puts her finger up his ass

Just found Trump’s favorite Bible Verse: it’s Revelation 13, 3-4 “One head appears fatally wounded but is miraculously healed. The whole earth marvels, pledging allegiance to the beast and, indirectly, to the dragon, exclaiming, “Who is like the beast, and who can wage war against it?””

Wow. Lurch was speechless. Just like in the Adams Family.

If the DNC doesn’t fire everyone who was involved in Kamala Harris losing to the worst candidate in the history of the U.S. they’ll keep getting beat by the Republican’s billionaire ass kissing fascist party.

Jaxson Dart is just the latest moron. I’d say read it and weep but this is a lost of made up (almost) exclusively of no talent has beens and idiots. No surprise there.

If I was on the Giants O-line Jaxson Darts getting sacked every play. Spackle this moron into the dirt.

LAWYER: Your Honor, motion for permission to do the "You can't handle the truth!" scene from "A Few Good Men"? JUDGE: I'll allow it.

Sometimes it feels like Mamdani is the only politician (+Jasmine Crockett) who truly gets what we’re up against and what we all want.

Susan Collins sucks but Platner is an idiot and a right winger pretending to be a Democrat who covered up his Nazi tattoo. If you believe he “didn’t know” it was an SS death’s head symbol, if you believe he’s a Democrat you’re as gullible as MAGA. We have to be better than that.

Like when he used the Nisour massacre to troll the libs bsky.app/profile/henr...

Who wore it better?

We are in the worst timeline, the worst of all possible worlds when Stephen Colbert is replaced by Byron Allen. It’s like CBS just replaced the Rolling Stones with the Jonas Brothers. Good night and get f*cked.

Here’s a little something to make your day Donald, we’re all behind him. 👠

“Martyrdom does not end something. It’s only the beginning.” Indira Gandhi Trump has given Stephen Colbert so much more relevance and power with his firing. I hope Colbert runs for the senate (like Al Franken.) Seeing him grill thieves and liars would be nirvana. To the next chapter… 🥂

The Underground Railroad saved a lot of lives, but did it ultimately hurt the train industry?

I'm a retired boomer. I cannot believe the state of our country. I cannot believe people are reduced to living in their cars, on the street, homeless. NOTHING is normal anymore. There is something fundamentally wrong, VERY wrong, with our country. I am so ashamed of what our country has become.

Beautiful

🔥 SPRINGSTEEN: "I’m here to support Stephen Colbert, the first guy who lost his show because a president can't take a joke - and the Ellisons feel they need to kiss his ass… small-minded people with no idea what freedoms of this beautiful country are supposed to be about." 🇺🇸

Ossoff on his Republican opponents: "They're pro-war, they're pro-tariffs, they're pro-cutting healthcare. Let's find out where they stand on the crooked ballroom and the insurrectionist slush fund."

Tim Scott needs to be visited by the ghost of John Lewis every night till he sees the light.

Thing the January 6th Insurrectionists will be spending their money on: Cousin’s abortion Bitchin’ Camaro Trump crap Bail Abba Zabba Guns, guns, guns. Flagpole replacement Meth Rebel flag undies Child porn Hummel figurines “88” tattoo Sister’s abortion Harley Davidsons Opioids Bail. Again.

It takes a lot ruin a first-visit dispensary experience. This does it fast. I don’t know who needs to learn this but weed and Nazi’s are opposite vibes.

Yep. Still a dork.

NOW these countries are outraged? “As of 3 May at least 75,811 people have been killed in Gaza according to the Gaza Health Ministry and Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs, including 270 journalists, media workers, 120 academics, and 560 humanitarian aid workers, including 391 employees of UNRWA.”

I’d love to hear who ELSE Pastor Partridge (stupid f*cking name, dude) thinks shouldn’t be allowed to vote. I have a pretty good idea. MAGA are weak, ignorant and afraid of women.

A story about KY GOP Senate nominee Andy Barr: In 2019 he got mad at AOC and demanded she come to his district to visit a coal mine. She said yes, which he didn't expect, so he withdrew the invitation. Then it turned out there were no working coal mines in his district. Because he's an idiot. 1/3

Anti-trans, downplaying genocide and derailing progressive agendas is exactly Nazi, though…

The real victims of Watergate were the burglars.

I'll tell ya something I will vote for the Democratic candidate who promises to go after corruption and hound these people til the day they die. Bonus points if he/she tells the first reporter who asks them about "unity" to fuck off.

Trump’s rape victims from the Epstein scandal should sue him for 1.7 billion.

🔥🔥 The Moscow region is really on fire today — courtesy of some Ukrainian drones. #SlavaUkraini

Elon - it’s such little dick behavior of you not to want to pay taxes. BIG dick moguls DEMAND to pay their share. It proves they know their worth and are DYING to flex it. Your unwillingness to pay just shows what an itty bitty dick you have. Your baby dick will grow if you pay your fucking taxes.

And Cuban is laughing with Trump when he says he made a mistake voting for Harris. Fuck this guy! Fuck every fucking billionaire!

Kelly Riggle, a crew member, from the US delegation of the global sumud has been kidnapped from her boat the Marilyn and illegally taken by the IOF. Rise up and demand their release. Kelly will also be conducting a hunger strike.

Just as he’s covering up Epstein, creating worldwide chaos and looting the shit out of the treasury, Donnie doesn’t want you to know that he savagely raped a 13 year old girl along with wingman Epstein. Say her name you wretched fucking pedo! Katie Johnson! #Epstein

How obvious. Trump is trying to primary any republican who asked for a release of the Epstein files. We know Trump raped children, that he’s a pedophile, that he was Epstein’s best friend. The files will only prove what all of us already know. FDT.

Nice confession, Diapers, the clown. 🤡

Actor Javier Bardem: “We are killing women because some men think they own them. They possess them. “The big balls men saying my cock is bigger than yours and I'm gonna bomb the shit out of you. “It's a fucking male toxic behaviour that is creating thousands of dead people.” (Variety)

I know the advice on how to cut down on my grocery bill is well intentioned but you've lost the plot. The problem doesn't rest with me, it's with the people deporting farm workers, implementing tariffs, and allowing monopolies within the grocery industry.

Nice timing, JD — when he’s right, he’s right

Congresswoman @aoc.bsky.social with @brotherjones.bsky.social in Alabama…

They make everything creepy

J6er’s gonna get repatriations before Black people…

Just cruising around with Putin’s cock holster.