I would occasionally twizzle to Bell Biv Devoe in my younger days but it required at least a half dozen Mickey's Big Mouths. #Olympics

Political Profile: Tom Homan https://theonion.com/political-profile-tom-homan/

Hi Tomhoman, thanks for the thoughtful suggestion that we locals in MN end the resistance. We’ve considered it and would like to make a counteroffer. To wit: 1) No 2) Never 3) Fuck you 4) You, Bovino, Noem, etc go to prison for decades. Sound good? Great. Here’s $50k in a takeout bag. …Kidding!

In 1978, David Carradine starred in a Roger Corman produced post-apocalyptic feature from the director of Caddy Shack II. In 2026, it will be one of the four films covered in The RiffTrax Experiments! It's time for Deathsport! Support us on Kickstarter: rifftrax.com/kickstarter

I don't know why conservatives complain about Bad Bunny singing in Spanish. They never listen to lyrics anyway. They think "Born in the USA" is an upbeat patriotic song. They played "We will rock you" on Trump's rallies to rev up the crowd. Trump jerks off two invisible dicks to YMCA.

Rep. Stansbury: "The U.S. government is engaged in an active coverup of the largest sex trafficking scandal and influence pedaling scandal in the history of the United States. And Donald Trump is right at the center of it."

With all the ads either using AI or promoting AI platforms during the Super Bowl last night I'm starting to wonder if the game itself was actually real.

Crockett: "The US is falling apart, partially bc he's allowing for killings in the street, but also bc we have a 34 count convicted felon being shielded from any type of accountability as it relates to a child sex trafficking ring. I don't understand why we're pretending any of this is normal."

Maybe the president of the United States should worry less about what kids are seeing during a halftime show and more about how they are trafficked and how their president is speaking?!

Translation: "These people are still finding joy despite my best efforts to rob them of it and it's not fair!" What a pathetic, weak little man.

Thoughts and prayers to all the folks who had to wrestle with how they were gonna complain about Bad Bunny's halftime show without admitting that they watched it instead of Kid Rock's Up With White Nationalism show

A white man protesting a Puerto Rican singer by ripping off black music poorly is bracingly American.

Burnt Weeny Sandwich, the seventh album by The Mothers of Invention was released #OTD 1970. #Zappa

Bad Bunny gave his Grammy to Liam Ramos though I thought the most emotional moment of the night was when Kid Rock brought Erica Kirk up on stage and gave her herpes

lol

Thought I saw Kid Rock, but it was just a pimple on Bad Bunny's nuts and whatnot.

Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/

This AI Dunkin Donuts ad has set Boston back seventy-five years

As an average to maybe slightly above average high school football player many years ago, I had to block a decidedly well above average (and a couple years younger than me) player named Mike Vrabel. Twice. It did not end well for one of us. Hint: it's the guy who's posting this and not coaching.

I don't mean to seem ageist, but this figure skating team probably doesn't have much hope to win any medals. Good for them for giving it a shot though. #Olympics

They call me "Quad King" at work, but I think it's a reference to the number of trips I make to the restroom every day between my morning coffee and lunch. #olympics

Conservatives Outraged Super Bowl Happening In Foreign City Of Santa Clara

Thinking about putting together a guide for members of my nostalgia obsessed generation regarding things from your childhood that it's time to stop talking about. Starting with the incessant need to preface every story with "now remember, this was before the internet." We know.

Study: Majority Of Humans Happiest When Rest Of Family Still Asleep https://theonion.com/study-majority-of-humans-happiest-when-rest-of-family-1819579602/

Actually looking forward to watching the Super Bowl halftime show this year. I don't know much about Bad Bunny or his music (I'm a middle aged white guy, so go figure), but I do know that anybody who draws the ire of MAGA as much as he does is ok in my book.

Only two things stood between me and being an Olympic athlete when I was younger: talent and ambition. I consider it a missed opportunity.

We need ice dancing to Uncle Meat

It's only a matter of time I'm sure when Olympic figure skaters are required to perform their routines using prescription drug advertising jingles as their music.

I love how National R’s are learning the lesson and name of Senator Louise Lucas that Youngkin learned over the course of his term. I kinda think that anyone who has “gerontocracy Dems bad” arguments needs to wrestle with the spectacular legislative effectiveness of Lucas.

Ordered? What a bunch of wusses. I watched Manos: The Hands Of Fate out of my own free will.

I know what side I’m on.

Welcome to the rest of your life, asshole.

If you still support Trump and his administration, I don’t judge you for your choice of political party. I judge you for your lack of morals, ethics, compassion & humanity. I judge you for your support of pedophilia, racism, treason & fascism. So will others. So will history.

“Can you pick me up at Child R*pist Station at around 4:30?” www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Starting a rumor that eating a billionaire gives you the power of flight

On the off chance that it was a "staffer", one would have to assume that they posted it because they knew it was something he would approve of.

The number of times I've thought to myself "if you still support him after this..." over the last decade almost equals the number of times he's mentioned in the Epstein files.

We'll remember who led this shit. We'll remember who cheered for this shit. We'll remember who expressed concern but went along with this shit. And we'll remember who twiddled their thumbs during this shit.

The more this wockaflocka realizes he'll be remembered as garbage, the more he runs around frantically tryin' to put his name on shit.

On Monday, we're revealing one of the four movies we're riffing in The RiffTrax Experiments... what do you think it's gonna be?

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/

Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading https://theonion.com/trove-of-emails-about-pedophilia-reignites-nations-love-of-reading/

The official theme so g for 2026! youtu.be/XDkhzVw0yBs?...

Ever wondered how the @mst3kofficial.bsky.social planet spins? Kevin is here to give you the inside scoop! rifftraxmakesmst3k.com

quick get MAD TV back on the air so I can pitch Schlong Stung Blue

Always be sure to carefully calibrate your Crow T. Robot before operation! #RiffTraxMakesMST3K rifftraxmakesmst3k.com

Old friends, together again. @mst3kofficial.bsky.social rifftraxmakesmst3k.com

Happy B'Day Feb 5 to Vinnie Colaiuta drum maestro w/ Jeff Beck, Frank Zappa & Sting (1956)! Joe’s Garage youtube.com/watch?v=KINj... Live at Ronnie Scott’s youtube.com/playlist?lis... Ten Summoner's Tales youtube.com/playlist?lis... #drums #drummer #sting #jeffbeck #frankzappa