I’m eating Halls like they’re candy. Someone come kill me then you can Weekend at Bernie’s Marti Gras with my corpse.

That time when Big Mac containers were Styrofoam and I accidentally turned one into a shrinkydink trying to warm it in the oven... or microwave (they were really new back then).

I’m super sick. So I’m eating Italian cookies. At least I’ll die happy.

I know who’s getting one. @invisihole.bsky.social

Just to prove Leigh and I cross all the “I”s and dot all the “T”s we both have the flu. So pump the breaks on festivities in NOLA and we’ll go Y2K someplace else.

💕

Literally so close to the holiday season being over and I cannot stress enough how much I cannot fucking wait.

My birthstone is a corn dog…

My wife just told me “If you get me sick, I’m disowning you.” This woman brings home every cootie in the world from work.

Vegan Carbonara with Tempe Guanciale

Shit. I think I have a cold.

Just eggs, vegan butter, shallots, black salt, adds sulfphur, Violife parmesan, nutritional yeast, adds richness , red lentil spaghetti, pasta water, tempeh ‘guanciale’

@atomicdumpling.com Awww

I have no idea why the states like California are implementing the trans ban. They maintain control of their national guards and Gavin Newsom is in charge. He's done nothing while his command is purging trans people. It plainly violates the California constitution.

Don’t feel guilty. Uncle Elmer knew it was his destiny, and he met it with a cocky grin. 😂

He’s a flasher

That’s because it is.

Thank you Lisa @pinkmouse.bsky.social 😊 💙 🥂☃️ @nicholehiltz.bsky.social @atomicdumpling.com @themotleybeast.com @lisa-catara.bsky.social @jazchaz.bsky.social @whatifisaidit.bsky.social @climbtotheclouds.bsky.social @fivetimessix.bsky.social @quinnleone.bsky.social @abbarsha.bsky.social

You can learn a lot about a person based on who their favorite muppet is

Hello fellow Americans! Show this to both your French and Italian friends to have them both hate you and each other at once!

A posterior view of an incomplete braincase of a large iguanodontian dinosaur allowing a peek through the foramen magnum into the cavity occupied by the brain (~12x5 cms). Found by Reginald Hooley who also found Mantellisaurus in 1914. From #IsleofWight now @NHM-London.bsky.social. #FossilFriday

Make a Bond movie casual. Carbon Dioxide is Forever

‘Italian-Sounding’ Products Cost Italy €120bn Annually https://www.diningandcooking.com/2442252/italian-sounding-products-cost-italy-e120bn-annually/ Italy is losing €120 billion each year due to the ‘Italian-sounding’ phenomenon, whereby counterfeit Italian agri-food products, lacking any …

Yup freezing rain today, I ain't going anywhere. I'll just have to eat snacks. 😋❄️☃️

Currently eating: jambalaya. Whatcha got, friends?

A worthy reason to redirect traffic. @invisihole.bsky.social @themotleybeast.com

You guys! I got a new toy!!! Meet Viggo the yodeling pickle. You are WELCOME!

Christmas dinner cooked by @themotleybeast.com and @atomicdumpling.com Heaven in my mouth. My belly is super happy right now.

Merry Christmas! @themotleybeast.com @invisihole.bsky.social @chef-bruce.bsky.social @fivetimessix.bsky.social @nicholehiltz.bsky.social @peachiikimaf.bsky.social

I sold a Jacket Mama jacket to a friend, yesterday. They didn't hesitate to help me get things off the ground. They loved my designs and wanted something no one else had. 🙌🏽🪡🧵 Please support small businesses. Especially your friends businesses! Repost, like, story ...every bit of it helps 🫶🏽.

Merry Christmas to you and your still-attached fingers. ❤️😊

If Prince Andrew were any more screwed Jerry Falwell Jr would be sitting in the corner watching

Anyone else shove the whole cracker in their mouth like they are 5?

HA!

Merry Christmas. I’ll be honest with you guys, my depression is kicking my ass… I honestly am not a “this time of year” fan. I think the spirit of Christmas is great. The execution of it is not. But that’s me. How does Christmas make you feel?

#MorningVibe Sometimes it’s the only way to get through the holidays, do what you must. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Be free. ✨ 🔊🆙

She can fuck off. I have zero fucks to give. Wtf does a “Trump voter finally waking up” do now? Not a mother fucking thing!!! Lives have been changed, destroyed, forever. So I don’t give two shits, have love or grace for them. They need to OWN their vote and choices. To live with them shame…

Another Jacket Mama from my personal collection (so cozy). Find more inspiration on the website below, and Depop app (JacketMama)! 🎭 🪡🧵 www.lisacatara.com/jacket-mama

I, Artist. Forever on the quest of creative storytelling. You can find THESE stories on the website below, and Depop app (JacketMama). 🎭 🪡🧵 Well, this one is mine. But, others...! www.lisacatara.com/jacket-mama

I picked all the lemons off of my tree today because some of them were starting to look a little over ripe. I’m going to freeze all the juice and make lemon peel candy. #Gardening #NOLASky

You know those stories about how the magic of Christmas miraculously restores your faith in humanity? It isn't working.

@tracilaw.bsky.social this is the only signature I want to see.

Watch this and remember Betty. @themotleybeast.com @invisihole.bsky.social

@kaine.senate.gov Maybe cut DOD's training budget. That'll show 'em.

Snack Slut. Or maybe Slutty for Snackies? Trying to get my xmas card sign-off juuuust right.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Pretty sure it’s a Matt mcconaghy morph

If you're looking for breakfasty nihilism I suggest this as a start.

Lindsey’s soul is drowning in a bottle of bourbon.