RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’ https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-time-in-hot-cars-helps-babies-to-sweat-out-toxins/

Sorry your health insurance costs so much more this year, we needed to make fancy airplanes for illiterate dog-murderers

the single most celebrated holiday in the world is various countries observing a national holiday to mark when they kicked the English out

"first they came for my property value"

Yesterday morning kids were sent running from their bus stop in panic because ICE showed up. This guy at today’s ICE Out of Lindenwold protest is a must watch 😭. @maddow.bsky.social

I love that Missouri’s most popular word stems from the fact that the St. Louis Zoo has free admission for all, making it a reliable cheap date option. 😂

*Epstein co-conspirators nervously watching the daily Dow closing average to see if they will be held accountable for their crimes.*

The replies made my day.

always so funny to me when people are like “how am I supposed to explain Gay to my kids?” my kid asks me way harder shit all the time. “why did they build the road this way? why are some people bad?” I don’t know. please ask me about Gay

WOW. What a final end.

Holy shit that double takeout.

60 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider

i don't see why they can't do all the track and field events at both olympics. put a coat on

5yo: “Today, at school, I counted to 99 billion 99 trillion. But I skipped a few numbers.” 😆

Black autistic women live at the intersection of racism and ableism. We don’t lack courage to unmask we lack safety. And that truth needs to be said out loud.

one thing the trump era has made clear, i think, is that the american people themselves are far more committed to the values of our founding documents than our elites

🤔 It’s definitely not suspicious at all to have people point out your common Twitter sign off is in the Epstein files and ten completely delete your yacht’s logs right?

In the not-too-distant future, RiffTrax is making four new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000! Support us on Kickstarter: rifftraxmakesmst3k.com #RiffTraxMakesMST3K @mst3kofficial.bsky.social

The thing about all these men is they could date anybody. They're rich, they're famous. They could bag socialites or models or actresses or whoever. Instead they single out the most vulnerable women and girls they can find. They cannot form relationships with women who are their peers.

they should make a movie series about how it’s irresponsible to use technology to mess with the natural order of things for profit

ten years ago today no one clapped

Wow. No notes.

Looking at the list of 19 new CBS News commentators, the median number of times they appear in the searchable Epstein database is 2 and the mean is 100

every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”

Whether it's a Hillary Clinton staffer asking John Podesta how to make risotto or Elon Musk asking Jeffrey Epstein where he could find a party featuring child sex slaves, there's plenty of embarrassing emails on both sides.

It’s pretty fucking wild that the DOJ is releasing files that include accusations that the President of the United States raped underage girls, to distract from the fact that the DOJ is covering up murders of US citizens by their own government.

I see we're at the 'arresting opposition journalists' phase of I Can't Believe It's Not Fascism!

🧵

An absolute banger. Perfect.

This was a cathartic read. Highly recommend.

“These agents, and the president who sent them, are no one’s heroes, no one’s saviors—just men with guns who have to hide their faces to shoot a mom in the face, and a nurse in the back.” 🔥🔥🔥

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

I am AI.

Wow! This read-along of the NYT moment-by-moment leading to the murder of Alex Pretti should shake everyone awake. He was a Good Samaritan. Agents fired at least ten shots in roughly five seconds. DHS and Pam Bondi claim Pretti approached them armed and intent on a “massacre.”

“They’re not sending their best and brightest.”

a skilled ER nurse with a deep sense of civic responsibility is exactly the kind of person you want carrying a firearm. every ICE employee should be barred from touching anything deadlier than a butter knife for the rest of their natural lives.

Absolute banger of a comment on r/military: www.reddit.com/r/Military/c...

ANOTHER ANGLE. This man was NOT brandishing a firearm. He was holding his phone. He then put his body between ICE thugs and woman. He was then sprayed with a chemical agent, tackled, disarmed, and executed. Plain as day. DO NOT let them tell you otherwise.

ICE is now responsible for 66% of the homicides in Minneapolis this year.

At the end of the day, the Black Lives Matter era was about whether people should be killed in the street, and lots of people decided yeah and put those little blue flags on their cars. It spread to everyone because it stopped for no one.

Jesus fucking Christ. I just… What are we doing here?

they’re abducting our neighbors and putting them in concentration camps and they’ll empty a whole goddamn magazine into you while you’re lying on the ground if you don’t cheer them on while they’re fucking doing it.

Trust me. Do it right now.

“Look: Rome wasn’t burned in a day.”

Donald Trump's AI-generated "Board of Peace" logo is so bad it doesn't even have Greenland on it, the territory he almost took the US to war this week to seize. No, really, look closely:

Now that he’s in Europe, he’s been shaking hands with his left hand?