Just got an email about how to 'get your legs ready for spring'?. Legs? For Spring? Springs for legs? Legs? In this economy? Spring?

We’re at 95% of our target. If we don’t hit it by Friday, we’re planning to stir up another controversy. Maybe this time we could rescue some kittens and tell people about it on Instagram.

I've been thinking a lot recently about what English culture is, and I think I've got it (at least for me), I will illustrate this with a story:

I've been looking after this guy for the past two weeks and he's doing really well considering the way I speak to him definitely has 'shades of Gollum'.

😌🙏

Hoggle has escaped the Labyrinth! No more paracetamol for you!

Gl*nner whining that satire is dead while The Daily Tism are out here satirising America into the next century

Anti-autism campaigner, Karen Hoyland, 40, commented: “I love my child but I hate his autism. The other day I came home to find him lining up his guns, instead of playing with them like a normal kid.”

Expedition Gallery is NOW OPEN! Have a look at our collection of Art for Adventurers here: www.expeditionartgallery.com

I know the whole "I slept wrong and now I'm injured" thing is a cliché when you get to A Certain Age, but honestly this morning I had to pick up my own head like it was a melon.

Retrospectively removing indefinite leave to remain would be immoral and economically damaging. It would tear families apart. Attacking it as ‘potentially illegal’ is completely beside the point. Argue with the (awful) idea. Don’t try ’well, actually you can’t do that’.

John Lee Hooker with a diagram of the evolution of the Blues.

Been watching a lot of Shetland recently, love u jimly pez

Number 6 is an organisation for autistic adults and it's been an absolute lifeline for me over the past year. Edinburgh council are taking away its funding so it'll have to close, please sign this petition to help keep it open!! chng.it/vJDYwT4L4J

Expedition Gallery is NOW OPEN! Have a look at our collection of Art for Adventurers here: www.expeditionartgallery.com

Number 6 is an organisation for autistic adults and it's been an absolute lifeline for me over the past year. Edinburgh council are taking away its funding so it'll have to close, please sign this petition to help keep it open!! chng.it/vJDYwT4L4J

VERY excited for the new @thedailytism.com writers @harecomedy.bsky.social and @brainmage.bsky.social! What a dream team to be part of!

If you’re cancelling your Disney Plus subscription today, now’s a great time to sign up to The Daily Tism Patreon. Not only is it a great time with bonus articles, podcast episodes & monthly community events but we pay real writers to write real things & we don’t fire them for being right on.

It's time for Millennial Meditation... 😌🙏 ... You are downloading Hoobastank over Limewire on the family PC ... 😌🙏

Poll! Do you like puzzles? Would you buy a 1000pc jigsaw of my art to support the Scott Polar Research Institute? Would you NOT do this? Tell me in a free and public poll here: www.patreon.com/posts/puzzle...

Excited to announce that I now know what sciatica feels like

A mere FIVE MONTHS later we're almost ready to launch! 🥲

Watching a doc about Lord Lucan, really enjoyed the line "He was seen crying into his prawns in Mozambique".

Men just don't unhorse the Lionheart anymore and I think that's sad

Have forced myself to have a day off which means I've just watched Home Alone 3 rather than do something useful, it was not a good choice

Currently watching a Murder She Wrote/Magnum PI CROSSOVER EPISODE Nothing has ever been this beautiful

If you get talking to a musician on a dating app, a fun thing to do is to ask them what record they wish they could've written, and then time how long it takes them to say 'Pet Sounds'. (Current record is 14 minutes)

Things are getting crazy over on threads today

One of the few things I miss about working in aquariums is the cleaner shrimp manicure 💅

IMPORTANT

Getting my steps in by Captain Tomming it around the garden, can i get sponsored, I'd like to build a spa complex

In 1911, Scott and Amundsen reached for the South Pole with little grasp of human limits. A century later, tech and training have advanced, but sled hauling remains challenging. Three decades of research now reveal how Antarctic expeditions transform the body. explorersweb.com/what-antarct...

We don't need no education, we don't need no paw patrol

Sometimes when I send someone a package i add my own email on the tracking info so I get to see what their doorstep looks like

Join us on Wrangel Island for a hearty slice of dog pemmican and some eyeball cocaine, hope to see you there!

Just seen a train called Michael Portillo

Someone just wanted past me on the train who smelt incredibly strongly of Play-Doh 10/10 thumbs up please waft again Play-Doh stranger

Manager wanted to work at picturesque Ardnamurchan Lighthouse on Scottish mainland’s most westerly point www.scotsman.com/heritage-and...

Sociologist Dr. Noriko Hazamaki explained: “The causes of Daily Mail readers are varied and complex. While some people are simply mild Daily Mail readers, falling victim to the occasional clickbait headline, others are quite severely afflicted.”

Excited to be part of the #WhatInTheWorld exhibition at Brighton’s 35 North Gallery from 11 September. A limited run of prints will be available to buy, including my shots of king penguins & the Bolivian Amazon, to raise funds for @sussexbay.bsky.social. www.illume.eco/whatinthewor...

We’re still crowdfunding for the audio version of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News! Help us pay our writers and performers a standard industry rate so they can get righteously angry with us about it!

"We're not making them go floppy"

I went to Thorne records and now I have no money 😊

Remember, STATUTE LAW and NHS rules REQUIRE trans people to live as their preferred gender FOR YEARS, IN PUBLIC, to prove they deserve legal or medical transition. This makes that impossible. It is exterminatory.

I have this

“I have no plans to pen a memoir or write a set.” Thomas admitted. “Or do anything remotely creative, actually. But I’m still hopeful the anecdotes will come in useful.”

Sometimes one is unavoidably reminded how very, very long it has been. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Trans people have been around your whole life. You’ve been sharing bathrooms with them your whole life. They’ve been in your communities your whole life. They’ve even been playing sport your whole life. And you didn’t care *at all* till a few years ago when every right wing org decided you should

Alas! It is 68 years since the world was deprived of Peter Freuchen, anthropologist, arctic explorer, writer, WWII resistance fighter, quiz show contestant, film star, friend of Mae West, fucking enormous geezer, and maker of tools from frozen excrement