Colbert usually gets around 2 million viewers but because Trump's FCC banned Talarico's interview the segment has been viewed online over 10.5 million times. Nice work, dipshits

Fun response thread

tern left and bear right

This is apparently all true and I have no idea what any of it means

Let's all agree this is bad

We are the laughing stock of the world.

Wow.

Someone has sure already made this observation but the fact they can convert all those empty warehouses into prison camps means they could have converted them into housing, community centers, job training centers or, hell, libraries or schools all along. It’s always a matter of will not resources.

@o2bnobx.bsky.social I had my picture taken.

Yes! And the catalog of Truth Socials. It about time that unplugged Americans hear the True Trump.

A couple was arguing on the train earlier. At one point she said: “Go ahead and roll your eyes, maybe you’ll find your brain that way.” I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t.

The over-examined life is not worth listening to.

Exhausted and dehydrated, I slowly walk the last few steps. “This has to be it,” I think to myself. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and turn the handle, whispering a little prayer as I step through. I open my eyes and the last trickle of hope leaks away. I am still in IKEA.

The Social Security Administration has instructed employees newly assigned to answering phones to tell callers expressing suicidal thoughts that suicide is “one option,” www.govexec.com/management/2...

I miss when you could post Brave Norman Rockwell Townsperson and the caption could be, like, “R.E.M was wrong to leave ‘Fretless’ off of Out of Time” instead of “The secret police should stop murdering people.”

If you live in the US, call your fucking representatives and tell them that repealing Section 230 is a horrible idea. If Section 230 is gone, you can kiss Bluesky goodbye.

Over in Hell, the billionaires are fighting with each other over who hung out with Epstein more. 🍿

How utterly embarrassing. It’s not the pilot’s job to remember cosplay Barbie’s blankie.

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

Ann Telnaes (ht @borowitzreport.bsky.social ) captures Pam Bondi's despicable performance yesterday

"And we rely on each other, ah-ah."

Someone told me lately "Bluesky is just like Twitter." I argued that was untrue on the basis that last time I had a Twitter account most times I got a new follower their bio said "single & looking for fun" & here when I get a new follower it tends to say something like "professor of rare moths".

Three-time Trump voter: I'm looking at this awful picture of the Obamas. What an embarrassment to our country. He is not worthy of the presidency. He takes bribes blatantly, and now he's being a racist blatantly. He's pathetic as a president, and I want to apologize for supporting this rotten man.

“The f*ck are we doing?”

Trump must have threatened to sue them.

What happens when you try to order a Medieval weapon, a one-inch tungsten cube, or meth from an experimental AI vending machine? www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

My friend always says “One fell out”. 💨. 😉

“If all the names in the Epstein files are released then our entire system will collapse.” Works for me.

I’ve exported my data *flushing noise*

Oh. My. Fucking. God. www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...

What is the origin of the word "Boob"? The "B" is the aerial view the "oo" is the front view the "b" is the side view

Stay for the stories about Baby Zohran

Leslie Wexner, the billionaire former owner of Victoria’s Secret name in Epstein Files. Now I understand why their women’s underwear was always child size. (Not joking) ask any grown ass woman! Also, we now know the “secret”. Lock him the fuck up! #Voices4Victory #DemVoice1 #Pinks #SheShed

Ooop!

Someone once said to me: “Is it your birthday? [No] You mean you bought that yourself?!” 🤣

4 months after Trump pardoned Binance founder Changpeng Zhao, Forbes reports that Binance now holds $4.7 billion of the $5.4 billion supply of Trump’s World Liberty Financial stablecoin. That is 87%. It is the largest corruption scandal in the history of the US presidency.

the typos will continue until my brain ceases its shrinking so never

Our President is the most prominent figure in the largest child sex trafficking ring ever discovered. Ever. Our pious, Jesus-loving über religious Speaker of the House looks away and does nothing. Don’t ever talk to me about religion and morality ever again. Ever.

Personally I hope Bad Bunny’s show incorporates throwing rolls of paper towels.

Venn diagram of men Trump has appointed to positions of power vs. men in the Epstein files:

And yet he will wake up tomorrow, like every day, and pursue more, because it’s the only thing that validates his miserable existence in his own brain.

When I started up as GM of my last company we put our offices in the WaPo building. It was awe-inspiring to rub elbows with some of the most talented, best informed journalists in the world; we often chatted and shared tables and gossip in the cafeteria. I watched everything change. Makes me weep.

I keep arguing: there are 5 ways to fight fascism: 1) 3.5% in the streets 2) Peel off 8 Reps or 4 Sens 3) Rescue Trump catastrophe 4) Win in the courts 5) Win in November If you've foresworn 2-5, fine. Then put everything into 1.