Apparently one of Mark Zuckerberg's daughters is named Maxima, so that's multiple acts of naming your kid after a Nissan in the wild

Today, Mike Johnson will keep the House adjourned for the 94th day out of the last 106. 12 days of work in 106 days. With full pay and benefits. The senate has been working, so this is not about the shutdown. It is about avoiding a vote to release the Epstein files.

What a night, huh guys?

Hey Donald, I don't think Prince Andrew would've been stripped of all his royal titles and evicted from Windsor castle if the Epstein files were a "hoax"

Republicans spent the last 50 years shipping all our manufacturing jobs to Asia and now they wonder why so many people need SNAP

Remember folks, JD Vance was on food stamps as a child

Maybe they should watch Russell Crowe’s new Nuremberg movie when it comes out next week. Just some helpful advice.

Lots of people get an MRI every six months, people who had strokes

The people on this airplane have a sense of duty and self-sacrifice that Donald Trump will never understand. They are NOAA employees flying their plane through the middle of the category 4 Hurricane Melissa south of Jamaica. And they aren't getting paid. I wish them safe flying and a safe return

A little voice inside my head said "don't look back, you can never look back"

He got the Speaker he wanted - a cuck who will sit in the corner and let him do whatever he pleases whenever he wants.

Rob Schneider is sooo friggin dumb

Howdy folks

I’m disgusted by the photos of Ttump’s demolition at the East Wing, but I’m even more sickened by the renderings of his mar-a-lago ballroom dwarfing our White House. Once we’re rid of this despicable man, that ballroom must also be removed.

Dang we lost Michael

🎶Face down, ass up That's the way we simp for Trump🎶

22 arrests. All Maga. Including this armed terrorist with a gun who assaulted a woman. I think we know who the violent ones are. #NoKings

🤣

😭

Kashing them in their lies.

No Kings in Evanston is pretty enormous

No Kings-Kansas City

Trump's mechanism to pay the troops during the shutdown is by far the most illegal budgetary action he's taken as POTUS, potentially setting the stage to break everything. It's also needless because Congress would easily pass a troop pay bill if Johnson were willing to gavel in. Long thread.

J.D. Vance says it's OK to joke about gas chambers, rape, and "watermelon people", but if you quote Charlie Kirk you'll get your VISA revoked

1,500 measels cases in 42 states. Worst outbreak since 1992. Thank you Donald Trump.

If you have to resort to "there is no objective truth, only competing narratives," you're doing postmodern philosophy, not journalism.

Should the New York Times be sold to Pennysaver and its editors sent to work in Amazon warehouses? It depends on who you ask.

Thinking about the condiment sow again.

Moist Lex Luthor repping Oil of Ofay

We lost Dawn, folks

😭

Happy Saturday yall :)

If Charlie Kirk had been a church full of Mormons the MAGAs would've moved on by now

The MAGAs don't want to talk about the fact that a Trump voter burned down a church full of Mormons yesterday, so they're currently bitching about the Super Bowl halftime show (too Puerto Rican for them)

ICE attempted and failed to disappear a food delivery guy. It needed to be scored.

Lol.

You cannot trust information coming from Kash Patel's FBI. You cannot trust information coming from ICE. You cannot trust information coming the Trump administration. You cannot trust information coming from Republicans.

BREAKING NEWS: TYLENOL RESEARCHERS FIND DISTURBING LINK BETWEEN DONALD TRUMP AND JEFFREY EPSTEIN

I'm surprised NBC hasn't been forced to fire this journalist yet

Sometimes I wish Greg Gutfeld was homeless and that Brian Kilmeade was responsible for his care

Twitter has gone full-on Nazi, but I feel like abandoning that platform is like giving up on America. I can't do it yet

Twitter is a cesspool and that cesspool is currently overflowing

In an administration filled with incompetent posers who spend all day on social media instead of running their agencies, Pulte might be the worst. He’s Catturd with inherited wealth and a government title.

Everything so bad, but there is a little dog sleeping on my lap.

Wow

The National Guardners

What is up my muchachos? What are your plans for the holiday weekend?

Words cannot adequately describe what a colossal disappointment our mainstream media has been during our slow descent into authoritarianism.