Me when I try Yet Another Retinol

Buttons are back. Knobs are back. Dumb devices are back. Own-it-forever software is back. Print is back. Personal websites and chronological feeds are back. Touching grass is back. People keep saying 2015, but it’s not far enough. The entire 2010s were a mistake. We must retvrn to… 2009.

Today in my bestie is truly The Best: This is the Christmas present I received today. Arsenal historical newspaper articles. Including an article about the first game I ever watched in the Invincibles era that made me fall in love with the game/club. ❤️🤍

In my 40+ years on the planet, never saw my father so much as plunk a key. This morning he's playing Henry Mancini, no notes in front of him. Never took a lesson. Me: How do you know how to play that? Him: I hit the buttons until it sounds right.

I'm gonna donate to this guy's legal fund. Maybe you want to as well? As concrete a way as any to say Fuck ICE with your whole chest

My mom hasn't played piano in 40 years. For Christmas, my dad bought her a keyboard. What I have discovered is my mom, my dad, and my husband ALL can play piano? I am the only loser in the family? Who has no musical skills?

Liminal week. Liminal family. Liminal nap. Liminal weird movie in the background. Liminal potato cheese thing.

Welcome to SURREAL WEEK, where calories don't count, drinking is governed by airport rules, no one cares how you're dressed, and marathoning old movies is the norm. You have until January 5th when doing absolutely fucking nothing becomes embarrassing again. Do nothing with it wisely.

"Marty Supreme" was probably the most Christmas-for-the-Jews coded Christmas-time release since "The Fabelmans" in 2022. Tickets should have come with a voucher for your closest Chinese restaurant.

You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

They still make She-Ra and Swift Wind dolls if you wanna make sure your kids grow up correct

Of course Uncle Billy has a squirrel why wouldn't he

We never talk about Uncle Billy just casually having a crow familiar in It's A Wonderful Life

It's Christmas Eve, babe

The traditional Christmas Eve tornado emergency alert thanks Dorothy

An accurate representation of what it's like to watch AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER. See it tonight at 10pm ET and catch SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE on TCM in January.

The traditional Christmas Eve flash flooding emergency alert thanks Santa

Arsenal looking to be the first team to be fully WFH

Mulholland Drive x Pluribus #filmsky

if they had just shown it on 60 Minutes nobody would have seen it

bari weiss killing every christmas piece at cbs until someone lands an interview with santa

Okay I powered through and I do, in fact, Feel Shit

I watched AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH in Portugal today and I just want everyone to know that the entire movie was subtitled in English in Papyrus. The entire movie.

I walked into the room sideways clacking my hands over my head like a crab and my husband was so unphased that I'm considering becoming one of those people who buys a blow-up dinosaur costume just to get a reaction

It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans. 🧵 1 of 9

Spite is my favorite motivator for anything

Gather it. I don't care if it's spite, joy, anger, bile, defiance, loneliness, relief, sexual energy, humor, recollection, pride, confusion or infinitely reliable curiosity. Use it like a storm under your control, filled with lightning. Let bolts fly.

My coworker spiked my tea with Deathwish coffee and now I can hear the thoughts of ants and bees

I am so very very here for the Ben Whishaw collection. Perfume LFG

Idk if it's my favorite, but Paul Simon's line "What do you think they have hidden away in the cabinet-cold of their hearts" sticks out to me as just exquisite

The Vanity Fair photographer from the Susie Wiles story. Holy. Shit. www.washingtonpost.com/style/power/...

Today a Gen-Z'r said I look like I listen to Wilco ...

You’re still trying to find the millennial Tom Hanks. I told you we can’t do it, and we can’t do it. Now, what we might be able to do it is recreate him. Recreate him but make him British.

consider my feedback: i loved working at @larianstudios.com until AI. reconsider and change your direction, like, yesterday. show your employees some respect. they are world-class & do not need AI assistance to come up with amazing ideas.

Every time I think I have the mental fortitude to sit through the Jeff Buckley documentary no I don't

I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

I think if The xx put out a new album, the timeline would fix itself

the good that you do persists in this world

Rewatching Princess Bride for obvious reasons and I'm shocked to realize it's a Christmas movie. There are Christmas decorations in Fred Savage's room and the house across the street seen out the window has Christmas lights.

The Knives Out movies are going to culminate in an explanation of the Noah Segan Cinematic Universe.

Gabriel Jesus has risen

My only Wake Up Dead Man take is that Josh O'Connor is really good at this

Is this a safe space to admit Clair Obscure was so sad that I just gave up playing? I don't need Fancy French Depression when I've got Free Depression at home

Bluesky is a nursing home for people who know what firewire is

AI slop paper talks shit on AI slop

WHAT