U.S. Olympians are using their trip to the Olympics to get the basic preventative healthcare they can’t afford to get in the U.S. We should be embarrassed that we’re the only industrialized country without universal healthcare — all because lobbyists pay off our politicians.

Steve Martin as Tim Walz and Zach Galifianakis as JD Vance for SNL VP Debate sketch. Book it, Lorne!

Tim Walz is like that dad on a sitcom who is goofy and does ridiculous things embarrassing his family but at the end of the episode shows his loving and compassionate side.

i don’t miss twitter. but i do miss some of my twitter followers who i genuinely enjoyed talking to more than real life people 😕

Okay NOW I care about the Olympics

At Olive Garden, you’re family. Which explains the shitty food cuz my real family hates me, too.

UPDATE: after finally getting in touch with my insurance and my doctor, i can confirm that after doctor gave proper authorization, my antidepressant now only cost $190. i hate our healthcare system.

it’s me vs mosquitos in tonight’s 5K

this is the futurama liberals want

rest in peas

boss: why are you late? me: why are you so obsessed with me?

wtf amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/07/...

with Hulk Hogan speaking at the RNC, i wish The Iron Sheik were still alive to speak at DNC just to spend his few minutes cutting a promo saying HOGAN IS A JABRONI SON OF BITCH AND I WILL BREAK HIS FUCKING MAGA NECK!

the new maintenance guy keeps calling me “Ashton” and i don’t know how to tell him that my name is Asher

seen during my jog the other day

imagine if vp kamala harris joins protestors tomorrow at the capitol in denouncing netanyahu’s genocide.

today has been such a monday

Hey other white people, reminder that if you see/hear people you know calling Harris a “DEI candidate” you should ask them to spell out exactly what they mean

more like Joe BYE-den *post skeet*

If you're not soaking wet by the end, did you even wash dishes?

remember when trump almost got assassinated?

can someone who understands private health insurance tell me why my antidepressant went from $15 to $280 after doctor approved to increase dosage by 50 mg?

so brave for saying this back in 2000.

just heard president biden tested positive for covid because why the fuck not?

when the first cool Fall breeze hits:

JD Vance going from 'Trump is America's Hitler and that's why I oppose him' to 'Trump is America's Hitler and that's why I'm running to be his Vice President' -- truly, what an arc

the they start putting signs up advertising for the Spirit Halloween store opening in the shopping plaza by my apartment

timeline cleanse

Butler, PA

Touch grass? Nah. Pet dog.

How to buy a house: 1) Get a job 2) Get another job 3) Collect money for 17 years 4) Ask bank for loan 5) Tell bank you're sorry for wasting their time. Take a card to be polite 6) Get another job 7) Buy a large tent 8) Do payote 9) Hallucinate about buying a house 10) Die debt free

Holding a big drink of coffee in my mouth so when someone says something stupid I can spit it in their face

Can I come over and lay on your kitchen floor?

whether it is the real world or the Silent Hill dimension, Rose was speaking truth.

president biden in the next debate:

still thinking about how fascinating Ralph Ineson’s deep accent is to listen to.

remake a movie with Shrek and make it better Fifty Shades of Shrek

i forgot to buy fireworks so im just burning a pile of money

just watched The First Omen and pleasantly surprised at how creepy and good it was!

reason i don’t like fourth of july: when i was a kid, i was at a fourth of july parade. Uncle Sam was handing candy out to the crowd. He gave candy to everyone but as he made his way to me and made eye contact with me, he skipped me and continued to hand candy to others.