Lemme tell you, now is a really good time to get a Brick to keep you from reflexively reaching for all the worst opinions and most awful news. Put some friction between you and the takes. I cannot recommend this enough.

“direct your anger at trump not the democrats” buddy you are severely underestimating the amount of anger i have available to me

i’m so excited for peace in the Middle East. we’re only one war away.

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

None of it is a distraction. It’s all just evil deeds done one after the other by evil people who treat the government as their personal playground and piggy bank.

The lesson we need to learn from this is that while the public at large hates fascist governance, the media and their own inability to remember things from 0.2 years ago will conspire to make the next fascist look good. We cannot count on people at large "learning their lesson."

Oh, and my hottest take: Bad Boy Romances are just Horse Girl stories. (He is wild and dangerous and everyone has given up on him except for her; she is able to break through to his wounded exterior and gain his trust and now has all his strength and power under her command.)

A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is.

U.S. men's hockey with Curt-Schilling-in-Boston levels of good will squandering. A 25-mile lead in the good will marathon and they tripped on their dicks right at the finish line.

May he symphonically shit himself while the entire men's hockey team is forced to crowd behind him for a photo

The thing about the women’s hockey team declining the SOTU invitation is in part that sometimes, if you do not need certain kinds of power, you get to retain others.

"I supported gay marriage early and all it got me was the Governorship of California and also the virtue of being on the right side of history--FOLLOW ME AT YOUR PERIL!" Can someone load this man into a rocket and fire him into the sun?

Now is probably a good time to say that hockey romance rose to popularity because it’s a sport where all the players where white, and then it hit the zeitgeist when some authors said “okay, but what if they were a little less white and straight and also not dickbags?” But the whiteness is the point

Kash Patel is the first FBI director who's primarily interested in searching high and low for clout.

This Fox News fb comment about how Obama killed his grandmother to hide the fact of his birth in Africa sums up the entire epistemic crisis.

Making these Canadian men hold the little stuffie looking like they’re walking to the gallows is just extra mean

Do any silver medalists look as miserable as the hockey silver medalists?

Ugh I’m gonna have to see Matthew Tkachuk in his little Trump costume again

The Tkachuks better write Connor Hellebuyk a giant check because he earned their gold medals

Officially standing five feet from TV with my arms crossed

They can never make me hate you, Brad Marchand

The commentators mention a best of 7 between Canada and the US and now it’s all I want. The only thing I want more is for Trump to kick it

I would like Matthew Tkachuk to spend the next 5-7 business years at the bottom of the sea

“He’s so used to having to carry his team” by the commentators on Olympic ice is crazy work

I just want my son Seth Jarvis to get a gold medal. That adorable muppet baby deserves one

I bricked my phone for 7 hours today and ended up inhaling a 400 page book in one sitting. Put LOVE, LIKE APPLES by Jeff Zentner on your TBR. It comes out in October and is beautiful and hopeful and sad and full of so much love.

Even if the only thing Pope Leo ever does is continue finding new and fun ways to spit directly into JD Vance’s eyeballs, I will consider him one of the greatest Americans in history.

The JFK Jr/Carolyn Bassett show succeeds as a Pinterest board for 90s fashion that deserves a comeback (menswear included)

Alyssa walking to the podium saying, “I can’t process this, I just really liked my skate a lot!” She’s such a game changer. Truly, I hope little girls everywhere are looking up to her.

I like the tempo of the US National Anthem at the Olympics. None of the warbling dirge. Snappy, like a Sousa march.

Glad the US women put it away, because when the men take the ice

“With my own eyes, I have seen the damage it does to kids who are perfectly normal, and then once they get it, they're not the same anymore,” she claimed. You think she means measles, but actually she means the shot that would have prevented her son’s current brain damage and paralysis

Three elderly guys are having breakfast together in the booth behind mine, and one just signed and said, “I don’t know guys, things sure have changed a lot while we’ve been alive.” (Thankfully they meant computers and not like, gay people)

Sorry to get radical but I don’t think it’s my job or yours to embrace, accept, understand - and certainly not to use - the thing being sold to us as AI. I don’t like any part of it, so I won’t. I’m missing out? Good, that’s what I want. You’re worried about me missing out? That’s fuckin weird, man.

I thought the sauna was the worst of his crimes but then I found out that the HHS Secretary drank whole milk while sitting in a hot tub with Kid Rock and I’m sorry but the only appropriate punishment is death. And he was wearing jeans! IN the hot tub! WHILE DRINKING WHOLE MILK!

Telling people to vote for Newsom on Bluesky in February of 2026 feels like posting on Facebook that they can’t use your likeness or content

Okay, the further I get from "Wuthering Heights," the more I respect the big swing. Fennell said she wanted to make viewers feel what she felt as a teen reading it the first time, and I think she nailed it. The psychosexual fever dream, the wild swings from "ew" to "HOT" to "EWWWW." She did it

When people say “I hate writing but I love having written,” they are not saying “I love that some completed text exists.” They are saying “I love getting to the end of the process and realizing that all the work was worth it, that this sentence really pops, that I nailed it.”

I have seen “Wuthering Heights.” It … was a thing I watched. It seemed primarily about metaphors and weather. I don’t … I don’t? Huh.

What RFK Jr will never say, but is fundamental to his whole “no interventions, just choices” ethos of health, is that there are a lot of people alive today who would have simply died 100 years ago. Most of us see that as good news, but he does not.

I am “sobbing to the Sarah McLachlan Tint Desk concert” years old

Hey #romancelandia! I’ll be at Love Y’all this weekend in Atlanta. If you’re attending, come see me!

Look dude, none of us are sure how you’re alive either, but at some point you need to acknowledge wealth and luck and stop using your survivor bias as a reason to kill everyone else

Okay but am I the only one not sure what a “party balloon” is? Like, are we talking standard, roughly the size of a human head, tied to a string balloon?

99 luftballons just happened in el paso

We’re breaking into Olympics coverage to tell us they’ve detained someone in the Nancy Guthrie case but they don’t know literally anything about it, but we’re going to talk about not knowing anything for several minutes?

Man, what an excellent use of his platform

Bad Bunny is going to go down as the daddy of the American Union and JD Vance is going to get booed for the rest of his life.

So. My partner suffered an accident that resulted in very significant injuries. While he is, thank christ, alright in the broadest sense, I am now an amateur RN/dog minder/kid chauffeur, so! I've restocked some prints to help keep us in pizza and pain meds. www.brianna-ashby.com/new-products