Sometimes the wikipedia mobile app freaks out a little and it makes better shitposts than me

accurate

19 mins ago someone in space released a legendary volume.

They should turn the bass pro shop pyramid into this

Declaring "the die is cast" anytime I press the start button on my dishwasher

> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis > It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis

One of the smartest things Costco does is assigning every shopper a “Costco Enemy,”who stays in front of them putting carts in stupid places and blocking the aisle and going really slowly. This gives the shopper 30% more browsing time and creates a memorable, provocative experience

Almost wiped out on my bike earlier today because I saw what I thought was a Halloween decoration scarecrow move, but it turned out to just be an actual guy standing there

Don't mind me, I'm just reticulating my splines.

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gondor," i holler as i overturn my uncle's funeral pyre and turn the 4th Age of Man into the 4th Age of Shit

20210206_1211

Went to Baltimore on wplace out of curiosity

Got jumpscared by @alexanderfromspace.bsky.social 's doppelganger

how it's done

"Lego Island" has a web port now! isle.pizza

Commiting to the most niche bit, running the same train I was on IRL in Train Simulator at the same time.

Enjoying myself

There's this scene in DS9 where Bashir is like "you can't just stab a man in the back" and Garak is like "what are you talking about, that's the safest time to do it," and I basically have that conversation with Kuma every time we pass another dog taking a dump.

( @hikerswiftie.bsky.social voice) Seated

Intrusive Thoughts! At the Penn Station lounge balcony (wanting to shout sea shanties down into the boarding area)

what do you mean 'normal tools'?

we’re about to find out if loving SimCity makes you a better mayor Mamdani was asked in 2002 by NY Mag what he wanted for Christmas and said SimCity 3000

Whenever the flight attendants remind people to remain seated until we reach the gate, I always look around to see who is standing.

If you think Jaws is scary for not really showing the shark, you should check out spielberg's other films. they don't show the shark at all

There are cathedrals (Twin Peaks references) for those with the eyes to see

ACE cover (Jul 1988) READ: https://archive.org/details/ACE_Issue_10_1988-07_Future_Publishing_GB/page/n00/mode/2up?view=theater #zxspectrum #retrogaming

Should I dress up as a bee and walk around playing bass and signing "Message in a Bottle" at DragonCon this year?

This picture just made me hear the tape warble from a cassette

I was just sent a riff on the classic "hey check out how hard i can pee" and now I'm wide awake and out of breath from laughing too hard

epic rap battles of history Tay Kolma vs Tay Zonday when?

Some Cassette Futurism for your Monday feeds? This amazing thing is the Ford Tripmonitor, a 1983 GPS mapper that used the Transit Satellite network and a magnetic compass and could play micro-cassettes.

Me, before starting the day's crossword: the future is full of possibilities! Me, after finishing the days crossword: existence on this earth is meaningless

If your date gets hit by both a double decker bus AND a 10-ton truck, maybe they are just a bad driver.

a 3D Modelo

This and a Modelo will fix me

Actual British B-52 equivalent

Just learned about the existence of Joe Spreadsheet, the beefcake 80s spreadsheet software mascot a la Mavis Beacon

OK, this is wild. In September 2023, geophysicists across the world started monitoring a very odd signal coming from the ground under them. It was picked up in the Arctic. And Antarctica. It was detected everywhere, every 90 seconds, as regular as a metronome, for *nine days*. What the HELL? 1/

For motherfuckers obsessed with secret ineffable knowledge the gnostics sure fuckin wrote a lot

faa employees going to therapy and learning to humbly accept the air traffic they cannot control

I saw this plane and they said you had a lot of skymiles

There is something dangerous and vulnerable feeling about wearing flip flops in COSTCO

Eleanor Rigby is an insane choice of a song for the liquor store to be playing

An odd number of socks came out of my dryer today

same energy