I mean, they're not wrong on this one...

You’re NOT every woman Chaka Khan. YOU’RE NOT MY MUM

Follow the instructions. Voodoo dolls at the ready, please.

This could so easily have been the alternative title of Carys Eleri's song Tit Montage.

I don’t have my HGV licence anymore. I gave it to Donald Trump

The Taff and the Ely, but also the Taf and the Cynin

Looking at the positives, at least you didn't get a filthy arse covered in spilt drink dancing to this one. #totp

Signs of genuine audience enthusiasm for the 'Spring! Probably grew up a bit in between applying for tickets and getting into the show. #totp

Fuck my life aren't we done with this one? #'911' #totp

Sebadoh clearly have no fucking clue why they've been booked onto a children's show with a primary colour set and an audience who have no fucking clue who they are. #totp

Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago

Prince Albert was the first ever person to bring a tree in from the back garden. Before ramming it sideways through his cock

Great culture can save lives. Literally. Amazing letter in today’s @thetimes.com about Tom Stoppard

The world can, and I cannot stress this too forcefully... just. fuck. off.

Starmer has the worst political instincts of any party leader in history. His entire strategy is trying to appease a bunch of people who already decided years ago they hated him. Meanwhile he's pissing off everybody who tolerated him.

It's the last half hour of the wedding disco and the DJ is now on autopilot. #totp

Don't think much of Aqua's version of Bez. #totp

🎶 Sound that my microwave makes when my food’s done Goes before “bong” on the tannoy at Luton Monica Chandler The Crosby who sings These are a few of my favourite Bings 🎶

Ha HA! Checkmate, pseudo rebels!

Christ on a bike. I finish watching a film, telly reverts to last channel and the first words I hear are Greg Wallace saying, "juicy peach, creamy cheese and salty ham" and I can't for the life of me look up to see if he's been allowed to go rogue in a BBC revenge edit. Need to puke now.

There's not one element of this gag that isn't both essential and perfect. Damn this is good.

Nietzsche abhors a vacuum www.worldofmoose.com/products/nie...

Some puns are so good that you can't believe you've neither heard of them nor thought of them before. I feel all my irritating mental habits have been for nothing now. Fuck..

I don't agree with antisemitism, but it sure looks tasty!

This. Like a thousand times over.

Fuck me. Google's gone to shit these days.

Ouch. Thoughts and prayers.

"...and you will know us by the shape of our bums". It's got a ring to it!

Just had this hidden memory revived and had to share. A genius piece of storytelling.

if stevie nicks and nikki sixx got together their couple name would be stinki stinx

Deffo workable peace plan.

Can’t believe Twitter keeps crashing despite Elon hiring the best 19-year-old interns that racism has to offer

Facebook memories just reminded me of this Spanish Nick Cave compilation album cover which - as someone on the Twitter said at the time - looks like a poster advertising him playing a valleys workingman’s club

Post a picture of you that’s not actually a picture of you

OK. Hands up who's imagined this a thousand times in their head already? ✋

Well, who knew the most positive thing about AI would be that it could manifest what the majority of us were thinking Zelensky had EVERY right to do in response to Trump!

OK. Who had... "Man who demonised the entire nation of Mexico as rapists, with minimal evidence, to justify excluding them from the USA now personally intervenes to import a potential rapist, with plenty of supporting evidence, into the USA." ..on their insanity bingo card?

Does this also imply the defect of the Jedi,and the warranty of the Jedi?

return of the Jedi is not possible without the receipt of the Jedi

Repost with a pic you saved but haven't found any use for.

Three fights in first nine seconds of US vs. Canada game at 4 Nations www.detroitnews.com/story/sports...

beaker on magazine covers: thread

My favourite thing to say in a Cardiff accent is "You don't puts tomatos in a carbonarra"

You can’t polish a turd, but you can autotune a fart.

Sly & The Family Stone were better than Sly & The Family Scissors, but not quite as good as Sly & The Family Paper