Love how everybody freaking out about markwayne and in about 10’years we’re gonna have people running with names like Coltyn and brynleigh and Shyler and Braxtyn

Oh.

This is my dog at a stick library in my neighborhood. These are the kinds of things that make me not hate everything.

Hahahahahaha sigh.

I fucking love women. I love us. We are so powerful and beautiful and funny and amazing and enduring. Own that every damn day. No one can take or replicate our spirits.

Sending the kid to his befor and after care program for camp this week. I want to go to camp this week:

The gas station that’s closest to your house or work that you easily pass by in your most routine ordinary most used routes while driving IS THE CHEAPEST GAS YOU WILL EVER FIND. Become their friend. Get their gas card. It will be even cheaper.

Never miss a chance to tell my favourite science joke: Q: What did Crick & Watson discover? A: Rosalind Franklin’s lab book.

Your Phoenix race winners

Nothing has hammered home that I’m in my mid-to-late 30s quite like seeing Manager Glasses Albert Pujols.

Happy International Women's Day to the original International Woman

This woman is cool as shit already, and then you find out she could staff an entire jazz quintet herself (plays piano, guitar, bass guitar, drums, and trumpet). Excuse me??

Jfc.

Makes me sick to my stomach.

a useful explainer of International Women's Day by Cinzia Arruzza

Gonna stand in the shower until my neck no longer hurts

SOMEONE SHOW ME OSCAR

I am so god damned tired. How am I supposed to do three days at Disney

And that's Christianity in a nutshell.

Oh thank god . Spring forward too.

Darell Hernaiz walks it off for Puerto Rico!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We both got hats. Buuuuuuuut here’s the man.

Hey @papaalphakilo.bsky.social CIRCUS PENIS.

On the bus to HOUSTON RODEO

Dear Russia, Iran's fire is making oil prices spike. Spiking oil prices makes economic problems for us, so we're making it easier for you to sell more oil. In sum, Iranian military success against us reduces economic pressure on you. Just, you know, FYI. Sincerely, The geniuses leading America

Ninja gym this morning has kids picking warm ups and number from the card deck. I remember this from my HIIT days. Kids had had to do 15 burpees so far. lol.

A lot of yall being offended about the hazing thing I’ve seen talk about “if only they had been put into more lockers” and you might want to reevaluate how you think in things.

7:50pm: Rotation continues over Bixby moving northeast into parts of Broken Arrow and Coweta. Even if a tornado doesn’t occur, damaging 70 mph winds are possible! #okwx

Also additional special thanks to @graysnail.bsky.social for helping to raise an additional (eventually) $1k to Texas Raices!

Well we did it! Happy birthday week to me. You all helped me raise $2000 to Amer Cancer Socity and $450 to Houston PFLAG! Feel free to still donate. And be sure to help out orgs in your own communities right now there’s a lot of shit going on and we survive because people help people.

these are the same people that acted like being asked to mask in a public place during the deadliest outbreak in 100 years was the equivalent of the holocaust

People moved in down at the end of our block (like 10 houses down not close) AND THEY HAVE PLANTED LIKE 10 palms IN THEIR YARD AN WTF.

"Many Many Dig Dig" has me SCREAMING

History is unfolding AS WE SPEAK with the first-ever NCAA women's wrestling championships. Live from Coralville, Iowa we have Jeff Holmes, who explains why Presbyterian's size - just 980 students - doesn't mean it isn't a contender. www.theixsports.com/features/202...

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY if you still want to celebrate with me. Get on it!!

Oh damn

I wish this quote wasn’t still so relevant

Missouri Valley Conference tournament with an absolute unit of a score bug

I misread the program as "all Braum's" but alas, no ice cream

Listen. Yall haven’t even topped the 50% mark. I’m matching up to $1000. I’ve seen what you do for others. $5 $10 $9.99. Know you can do it

I need to find a way to use about a week of vacation still this year. Maybe something in say September or October….? Or if one of the ladies would like to do a long fancy hotel weekend somewhere with me ???

Today and tomorrow! It’s still birthday week please keep celebrating with me!

APPARENTLY PUBKIC SPEAKING IN FRONT OF 6 year olds causes me anxiety so I visibly sweat and get red!!!!!

Can’t wait for markWayne to compare war to being in the capitol on 1/6.

As for who gets appointed to Mullin's seat, Mike Gundy needs a job and has been watching OANN 20 hours a day to get up to speed on things

What’s Markwaynes mar a lago booster look like then?

Why are a sleeve of thin mints so easy to eat at once

Tiger stroll

FUCKING DYING.