i can't really pick between nightcrawler and gambit

ow my nuts!

what do you mean there was a pizza hut version of demolition man

thistlefoot (2022)

been getting a lot of questions from reskeeting this, so: they only come to your house and murder you with a sword when they *accept* your story

one problem I have with the current publishing landscape is that, if I write a story for your collection and you decide not to use it, it really is the least that you can do to come to my house and murder me with garden tools

that’s not very right about now of you, funk soul brother

head game #tadcspoilers

i bet if i go to nyc i can get an ice cream. mamdani keeps winning

a common debate that happens every pride is whether cops should be allowed at pride events. and I know this might be controversial, but I want to propose a compromise: One Cop At Pride

this is true. the dog girls are so dumb. please stop tricking them

they fucked this up. saying right there the coyote's fake? not gonna scare anyone

student: why don't we use question marks teacher: because doing so implies that there are utterances which are not questions student: but, aren't there teacher: have you noticed we live in a fucking koan

this sounds fake

You know, there's kind of a high demand for big scary monster shadows. Just regular non-monster people going around with scary monster shadows. And all those monsters? Were they hunted down for their shadows? Were the shadows stolen from them? Do they have normal human shadows from a trade?

This book hits me right in the childhood. I found this at a local bookstore. I was on my way out the door and just happened to catch a glimpse of it in the corner of my eye. Everyone should read this book immediately.

car Jesus died on the motocross

Smashed three car windows already to save dogs from the heat. Haven’t found any yet but I’m not giving up.

i figure the really important thing to do is take away his status as the first trillionaire. the wealth wasn't real, so he doesn't get the bragging rights

re: last reskeet that's me doing the thing

quote post this with the best imitation of yourself

The Shinra Electric Power Company will be issuing a recall on the Pride month themed rainbow materia. We didn't know it would do that.

Float. 🛟

gfs chillin <3

TADC spoilers . . . . . . . . . Finally, trans wrongs ❤️

uk, babes, you gotta stop competing with us over who sucks more politically. this is not a fight you will be happy to win

i mean, speed of light is the speed of sound for the causal structure of spacetime

calm sea yuri

MAN: Hello, police? It's a terrible thing, you see, my wife was killed last night, I was hoping you could send someone to investigate OFFICER: Certainly sir, the great detective Columbo is in town. Go and see him, he will solve the case MAN: Ah, I see, very good. Oh, officer, just one more thing,

the "customer" is a humanlike creature bereft of intellect and higher-order reason. due to a childhood diet of lead paint chips and leaded gasoline, it exhibits elevated aggression and is frequently confused by the concept of "boundaries" avoid at all costs. do not engage.

we need to go back

c o s m o s

help my robotgirl gf got picked up by jawas

okay so my whole gaming group was doing the eva quiz and i think it's a great graph of what's wrong with you

we-gi-oh weegi-o luigi-oh luigi-o's it's the Mario cereal nobody eats

/we can fix this/ there's a better world for us all to find together

i created this meme like 4 years ago on twitter and it went super viral and i think i got like 20 death threats. that's how you know i was cooking with this one

I'm not like a *huge* fan but Weeds had a perfect ending when the suburb burned down, and then the show kept going.

The wise man bowed his head. Solemnly, he uttered these words:

Starting HRT late is awesome because it'll de-age you 15 years and make you a cute girl