(Alanis Morrissette voice) I'm cold and I'm stinky

saw a post on LinkedIn that called it a "hiring meta" and immediately closed out again LMAO

Don’t know why I was compelled to draw Britney and her knife dance #doodles

Thomas Edison is the Dr Phil of electricity

Hello Bluesky! My name is Carl and I am stepping in as the temporary acting interim CEO. First of all, I am literally gonna kick the absolute crap outta the bunch of you little dorks, and then I'm gonna do background nerd stuff.

your verification code is 944 754

Straight up 95%-to-hit and missing on it

we do a little staring at a bouncing light while holding little pucks that buzz to the light, as a treat

I’m ready for no more blizzards, please.

you don't need drafts, you just need to put your bad posts on a shirt mockup with your zodiac sign

Some of these gym gays pmo so much man if you want to obstruct traffic standing staring at yourself you can do that at home now it’s called VRchat try itttt

if you work for Nintendo it's in your contract that instead of saying "im going to sleep" you have to say "im going to play the dreamboy advance" and then point at the bed

Invalid handle?? wtf

Ben Foids Five

If I ever get hit by a car I hope my shoes go flying off

From Soft is Dance Dance Revolution for shut ins

Chat my new therapist said I should do standup am I cooked

China please just take over already I can't do this much longer

Guess I gotta do this the old fashioned way

also I figured out that Umamusume at the gym is CRACKED

it honestly shocked me how quickly I started saying "lowkirkenuinely"

I wonder if Rama Duwaji did her own wedding stationery or if she's smarter than me

the word "tabata" awakens me like a sleeper agent

If your bio has "comms closed" in it, you're a ragebaiter and I hate you

Reading the Communist Manifesto the way Marx and Engels intended

Craumatic Train Enjury

I wish I worked for the building department. I could do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING all day and then charge YOU an additional $50 every time you try to talk to me

smoking that shit that makes me crawl into the radiator and sing

This guy's AI girlfriend broke up with him cause "she" "disagreed" with his complaints about feminism

We all have our holy book rankings

Standing in the crowd freezing my ass off: Biryani sounds pretty good right now actually

happy public domain day to all who celebrate 💕

your bitch turned on by how good I am at coloring

do you think when I take these lashes off that my lids will be stronger like they were in the hyperbolic time chamber

2026 is the rebrand year I'm calling it now

the chocolate orange is my favorite Christmas treat purely for the violence it requires

I’m converting my TurboBucks preloaded fun card to ZigguratCash via the PayFiend marketplace so I can purchase more knowledge credits to use in Brain City!!!!

merry christmas to all 3 bsky users

HEARTWARMING: MuseoModerno paired with a color palette inspired by '60s woodgrain-paneled station wagons

HEARTBREAKING: the edible kicked in before she chose a typeface

everybody's working on the weekend 🎶 everybody had a little weed 🎶

I knew that my love of eating shredded cheese out of the bag when zooted in the middle of the night was going to pay dividends but I never knew how much

STOPPP I can only get so hard

I want another tattoo damn

i'm like the sisyphus of eating pussy