43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

PULLING ! ! !

Someone is really mad at College H.U.N.K.S

You can surround it with as many bullshit words as you want I know Majora's Mask when I see it.

We love Big Mike

There is a cyber truck at the mall where I buy my Peace Frog stickers and I never realized that they just have one big wiper on the windshield. Every new detail just adds to the grotesqueness.

Geese are a type of cop

All four of these teams won today btw

Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened

Look obviously it sucks, everything he does sucks, but Trump's dedication to 1987 Wedding Food is one of his only sincerely held beliefs. I am putting a bounty on a photo of the fucked up pasta primavera they're serving. You know there's shredded carrot in that thing.

I must stop Remembering Guys

Remembered some guys

The Toxic Avenger (2025) 5 Bags of 🍿. (Popcorn) Hearing a lot of buzz for #Oscer as well.

Can you imagine how great the world would be if the movie theater had soft serve ice cream?

It’s actually normal for the President to constantly be trying to conceal a large bruise shaped like Majora’s Mask on the back of his hand,

Day 5 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

Cage should have been Oscar-nominated for his Bad Lieutenant imho, dark horse nominee

Bare minimum for holding a conversation: Lemon of Troy, Marge vs. the Monorail, Lisa's Rival, The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show, Homer the Clown, Homer Goes to College, Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song, Marge on the Lam, Lisa on Ice and Radioactive Man: The Movie.

?

Remembering the handsome Rory Calhoun on his birthday 💖

What the launch version of Disco Elysium was missing was Tiktok video orientation and ads that interrupt the game every two minutes to show you formations of cartoon soldiers running down a straight road and the gardener whose wife is cheating on him or whatever

Happy 77th birthday to Brian McGee, born #OnThisDay August 2, 1948. #TheSimpsons

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that the Big Dogs are "at it again."

Only in da Midwest baby love da Midwest

Hulk is home with his fellow wrestlers Dustin Diamond and Verne Troyer now... and heaven is putting together one heck of a sex tape ❤️

I used to tear my shirt, but now you've torn my heart...

A decade ago, Bill Foster was, “thinking about thos Beans.”

"We all live in our own prisons..."

I'm back 😎

This is absolutely true: the boundary between "housed" and "unhoused" in America is brutally porous. Millions of people are one rent hike, one missed paycheck, one medical emergency away from homelessness. And there's massive investment in keeping that reality hidden.

I'm gonna empty this motherfucker

Went to the comic book store.

That last line hits hard

Another fantastic WCW Demon special main event match.

RIP Dave Parker, one of my baseball gods

Sissy Donald Trump, President of the United States and owner of Bad Food restaurants, has a problem. His Birthday Parade is no longer "hot!"

Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of mine.