the gardener girl fucked me with her recently picked veggies cause she's a crop top

mahjong is a road that leads only to pain

my deadname? you mean the one collections letters are addressed to?

some people need so badly to be told they’re good

my tomodachi life needs Shran

i'm good!

Most gamers jerk off on their couches Except speed runners They use love seats because they’re shorter

it would probably be a net good for society for some a-lister to come out as an emphatic chaser. like "transgender like a ferrari" levels of down bad for the girls

“the knowledge gig economy”

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗸 𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘇𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙉𝙖𝙢𝙚: 𝘊𝘩𝘶𝘭𝘢: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙏𝙮𝙥𝙚: 𝘋𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘮𝘢 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲! Learn more at trekcc.org

the Simpsons have large front facing eyes bc they're nocturnal ambush predators and thats where they get the meat they're always tearing into on the show

The dialogue options to jokingly imply Y'shtola has motherly energy are fun and all, but nothing beats calling Shantotto "Mommy" in FFXI and her changing your title to "Total Loser" in response, requiring you to pay gil to get it changed back and letting everyone on the server know what you did.

i’m a simple woman. if i see you being nice to my gf then you become one of my favorite people

i think i need to learn how to make doilies

What if Spock nerve pinched a clit

Not much shareable art today Here have a doodle of that gummy crocodile everyone is super normal about #TADC

intense pain behind my right eye which faded and was followed by projectile vomiting it’s a nurtec day

UPDATE: He has a scan of the page and it's EVEN FUNNIER HOLY SHIT

spent the day with gf, made pasta, i’m feeling happy

have some pasta ya fazul

so you're telling me a white dude calls for mods to "clean house" of trans people, furries, and leftists he doesn't like, the head moderator of the website likes a bunch of his tweets, and then the next day the moderators begin purging the website of trans people, furries, and leftists? strange!

Pull the tapeworm out of your ass

does a rusty bucket of bolts have buddha nature

tomodachi life, the video game where Lisa Simpson hangs out with Frank Zappa

the only karma clinging to it is the ugly opportunistic dregs of wannabe tech oligarchs

how the fuck is this thing supposed to accumulate merit how the fuck is it supposed to have karma when it never had a past life to begin with

i hope aaron from bluesky moderation contracts MRSA

indigenous people have been telling yall to boycott this franchise but yall wanna bitch about the “cultural impact” instead of boycotting the damn franchise

i hope aaron roderick pisses himself in public today

genuinely hope aaron rodericks sits on his balls today

They suspended @cara.city for this!!! Dogshit website run by absolute babies. It is a Serious Violation to point out that the head of trust and safety’s pants fell down and everyone saw his little red ass and laughed

One of Colorado's greatest landmarks is Blue Mustang, aka Blucifer, the giant horse statue at the Denver International Airport. It has glowing red eyes and a giant wang, and it fucking murdered the man who made it. Here, I have drawn Blucifer as a pretty horsey man because I have a brain disease

tragic: world’s most beautiful woman woke up at 2 and can’t get back to sleep

idk yet what online features this game has but lmk if you want my friend code

drinking chlorinated water to cool down bc it worked for my phone

Ted Turner passing means it’s FINALLY LEGAL to look at Swat Katz Deputy Mayor Callie Brigs

I have a new identity 😐 But fr, scammer alert. Please report!

idk yet what online features this game has but lmk if you want my friend code

As the Varia Suit finished its upgrade and she felt the tingle of the new weapon system integrate with her nerves, she heard the faint click of the door locking behind her. She sighed, knowing the Space Pirates had once again invented a room she could only escape by honking one out

DOES THE SUIT JACK THEM OFF Master Chief: yes Spider Man: no Gizmo Duck: yeah but it’s a whole fucking contraption Frog Mario: no need, frog too fuckable already Samus: no (operatic upgrade song) yes

but mom said it was my turn to use the Virtual Game Card

stay tuned for Quattro

Today’s Blue Line masterpiece

i am just now hearing that tomodachi life is for the fucking switch 1 and i could have been making freaks this whole time

(actionable threat voice) they should persecute the bsky mods

it’s fucking snowing big fat chunks

this pandemic is fucking never going to end