I’m so on board

Join me at 9pm pacific time TONIGHT for SUNDAY STREAMIES, my biweekly live show on OF! ☺️ 👉👉 onlysiri.com

All new subs to my OF can join for free right now 💖 finish those taxes and then finish YOURSELF while u watch my videos harharhar onlysiri.com

I maintain that among the media's biggest mistakes has been continuing to ask Trump questions as if he's a normal guy instead of asking things like "Can you explain who Jesus is" or "Describe the process of pumping gas"

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

Wild that Altman is being sued by his sister for repeated sexual abuse and that doesn’t come up in basically every conversation about him. I get that it’s alleged but if that shit was happening to someone else I feel like that would come up, particularly if that person had a history of lying a lot.

mogging all of you while stirrupmaxxing in my incredibly comfortable gynecological exam chair

Ok what are everyone’s predictions for the next public figure to get JD Vance’d?

Queen of the Adult Supervised Backyard Adventure

The Taco Bell drive thru guy asked if I had a bf and when I said “sorry I’m taken but you’re very cute” he made a pouty face while fist bumping me and then dumped about 100 extra fire sauces in my bag

it's so funny to me when a dude joins my onlyfans and immediately DMs me trying to talk shit about my partner of 7 years. it's so obvious that they're jealous. the only question is which of the many hundreds of traits I love about @liamlorde.bsky.social are they the most jealous of?

Happy Confederate Surrender Day from Minnesota where we still have your goddamn flag and we’re not giving it up. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28th_Vi...

pls send help a mosquito bit my titty

Dredd 4:16

Thanks a million to @codivore.bsky.social for joining me at the sexual entertainment and economies special collection at University of Nevada Las Vegas!

Live show starting in ~20 minutes 😏 at onlysiri.com

Treating my butt to a collagen mask 😌 Tonight is SUNDAY STREAMIES, my live show on onlysiri.com! The stream starts at 9pm pacific time ✨

I love a big bowl of beans for lunch

Christ Appearing to His Mother, by Juan de Flandes, 1496, 📸 via @MartinFLSheriff

Here is my proposed deradicalization program: Every MAGA boomer dad needs to be locked in a garage for 1 week with a bag of 10mg edibles, Tom Petty’s entire discography, and their only other media access is one (1) YouTube channel of either squirrel obstacle courses or power tool reviews.

Someone sent me this.

Low key annoying how many prodommes I’ve seen using Noem’s bimbofied husband as a marketing opportunity. “I don’t care what my clients politics are, I would never reveal their identity!” First of all, nazis don’t deserve that respect. Second, this is probably Bryon Noem’s biggest fantasy.

Asking the real questions the public wants to know. My article for @thr.com on the chaotic world of 2026 movie censorship: www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...

I know one of you space freaks jerked off while waiting for the Artemis launch and used the countdown as a cum countdown

Every day is bench day 😎💪🏼

Curly hair method vs blowout ✨

The bigger the ass, the tighter the hole

Subscribe to my Patreon where I post AI generated interviews with Bob Dylan

Walking into the gym at 6pm, doing 4 sets of leg extensions, then leaving

New collab scene with Dredd coming to onlysiri.com sooooooon!

👀👀👀 @trystagency.bsky.social

sex worker twitter is completely awash in a bunch of baby brained SWERFs complaining that anal sex and choking are inherently degrading & antifeminist acts that no woman should be subjected to. TAKE MY FEMINIST CARD AWAY I GUESS BC I LOVE THAT SHIT

Imagine if JK Rowling had just transitioned 40 years ago instead of being in denial and writing “POV: you’re the chosen boy” fanfic, then getting crazy rich and using her power to become the world’s most insufferable TERF

Siri 2.0 has existed for more than TWICE as long as Siri 1.0 did. Siri 2.0 Siri 1.0 2020-now: 2012-2015:

look i'm not a big "judge people by the media they consume" person but if you watch the new wizard bigot show that gives money to Rowling, I will think less of you and trust you less.

JK Rowling is calling women athletes men even after they pass genetic testing. People in her replies are talking about these women having “ambiguous” genitalia. We are in an extremely frightening moment for ALL women thanks to transphobia.

Starting at 6pm pacific! playsavvy.live @playsavvy.bsky.social

I’m guest hosting @playsavvy.bsky.social tonight! Get the app at playsavvy.live and play against me 🤺 the stream starts at 6pm pacific!

For Playboy, I spoke to adult content creators about the hours of labor their subscribers *don’t* see. “The amount of times I have people in my comments being like, ‘Get a real job!’ and like, I probably pay way more to the IRS than you do!” - @siridahl.bsky.social www.playboy.com/read/sex-rel...

The birds and the bees are not nearly as pornographically inclined as I was led to assume. The way that they were hyped up by my parents I hit play expecting something hotter than a @siridahl.com film, but I gotta tell you that despite the flatting colors of their costumes, Dahl's still hotter.

Israel is distinctly unpopular with the Democratic base and pretty unpopular with independents. this should help clarify that Newsom isn’t trying to move away from *unpopular* lefty positions, he’s trying to abandon the left entirely

I’m at ICE HQ

been doing a lot of this, lately

As time has gone on I've realized there is a still quite small but now non-trivial chance that the entire Iran War is simply an insider trading operation, creating repeated black swan moments and relying on markets continued willingness to gyrate wildly in the face of absurd and predictably ...

Hey Ethical Capital Partners, maybe y’all wanna step in and buy OnlyFans too, before it gets snatched up by like, Larry Ellison or Mr. Beast and all the sex workers who depend on the platform get thrown in the trash

LIVE SHOW on my OnlyFans tonight! Be there or be 🟩 😤 at 9pm pacific / midnight eastern time! onlysiri.com 👈👈

Road trip cat 🐈‍⬛ Georgia hates road trips for the first hour or so, but when she gets over the anxiety of all the moving stuff outside the window and realizes she can sunbathe in my lap all day, she’s a VERY happy little baby