no idea if this will be a good movie or not, I’m just ecstatic to see a poster like this for an upcoming movie — peak of the artform, IMO

uv is so friggin good

<phone rings> Me: <sighs, answers> Clearly AI-generated voice: Hello Nate, how are you doing today? Me: You are clearly a robot. AI: I am not; I assure you I am a real person. Me: ... sure, okay AI: Nate, the reason for this recorded call is... Me: <hangs up>

For the first time since becoming FBI director, Kash Patel is briefly the most dignified-looking person in a room

When I was 22 I went to the dentist. The dentist looked at my X-rays and told me there was decay under one of my fillings; I needed a crown. They took me to a nice room and offered me tea and said "This is expensive, but we offer financing plans and if you sign right now we offer a 20% discount."

Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight

is your fleshlight feeling lonely?

llms are spooky

Stop trying to make fetch happen, Charlie Brown.

It is possible that choosing employees mainly because they are incompetent so they owe total loyalty to you might have some bad effects when it comes to having them do things for you

Farmer: Do you love the flavor of cabbage but it’s not tedious enough to cook? Well I have a new plant for you. Introducing: Brussels Sprouts

Remember! Trump, his agenda, and his supporters are really unpopular with most of the country and we can use the ballot box to fix what has been broken. It will take a long time. It will be hard. Success is not guaranteed. But we can win.

Trying to figure out whether Disney is extremely self-aware here, or extremely self-unaware

“The St St St” is a perfectly good abbreviation of “The State Street Saint” and I will die on this hill

These posts are steel

Donkier Kong

If you move one little "O" you can simultaneously change "Goodfellas" into "God Fellas" and "The Godfather" into "The Good Father" I don't know what The Good Father is about but God Fellas should absolutely be The Book of Mormon set in Little Italy

okay so you know when you're installing light switches and the screwdriver blade wants to pop the paint off the sharp edge of the screw slot? yes you can put tape on the blade to stop that, but I figured someone must make a plastic 3/16" screwdriver that wouldn't do it as far as I can tell: Nope

I feel like if I were in the Trump admin, I would be fishing for an exit and a pardon before Trump has a health crisis and can’t offer one anymore

Well, @asym.bsky.social, I was wondering how to describe how old I am and have settled on "I used to use my KoL shot glasses to party; now I use them to liven up my colonoscopy prep"

There is a large graveyard filled with my enemies. i do not wish to add to it, but will given no choice. Those who pick fights with me do so at their own peril, but maybe this is their lucky day

Go search Clippy on Google.

Yes that would do it

Encino Rotifer

NO SLIDING OF THE CHEESE

If my name was Ben and i played baseball my walk-on song would be the Barenaked Ladies “One Week” but just the first two notes

y'all you could get a switch and never pay more than $30 for a game and you would be able to play fun games for more hours than there are in a day

Arachnophobia is the dumbest fear. Who cares if 2 spiders get married it doesn’t affect you

Enceladus? I hardly know us!

post a *perfect* album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, pearl jam, soundgarden, or alice in chains.

I made this insane math collectible card game called Calculords which isn’t available on mobile anymore, but we just posted it on richjoslin.itch.io/calculords !

I love how people are all "alligators don't die of old age" when the oldest alligator in captivity is something like 83 I hate to break it to you but we have had zoos way longer than that

"have some baby grebes" they said "it will be fun" they said

possibly my favorite meme ive ever made

MyChart update notes: Hey, MyChart now has <useful_feature_x> My clinic: Not for you tho

vet keeps texting and sending postcards to get our cat a checkup and I know I should call them and tell them the cat is dead but I don't want to and they keep sending reminders this has been: first-world problems

When your German-Japanese grandmother keeps feeding you cheese that she’s selected, call that Omakäse

My god what did you do Cinda

low-key enjoy that it's Champaign-Urbana, but the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign

this is now a four guys

he's been frozen in carbonite

NORTHERN LIGHTS: Take my picture! Please! I don't look great now but the photos will be spectacular, bursts of green and pink! Take as many photos as you can! THE MOON: Do not take my photo, if you little apes dare to photograph me I will be so tiny, I swear to god I will make myself so goddamn tiny

I wrote a story about Hector, but the editor said it dragged.

I'm trying to think of a joke about Zeus but nothing's struck me yet